Today, I lost the 5 pounds I had gained over the last few weeks. I had vowed to do whatever it took to lose that weight, and I actually did, when I caught a horrible stomach bug. I'd eat my words, but I'm pretty sure I'd just end up throwing them up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after months of grueling hard work, I'd finally gained five pounds. Too bad I lost it all and then some, due to one good stomach flu. FML
Today, after a few months of trying to gain weight due to being severely underweight, I got a stomach flu and lost every single pound I put on, and then some. FML
Today, after I completely starved myself for a week and exercised every day in an attempt to lose weight, I instead gained 5 pounds. FML
Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I had a stomach virus, so I didn't eat anything. My new roommate asked me if I was anorexic so to prove I wasn't, I ate a sandwich in front of her. Only to go into the bathroom and throw it up later. She heard and now thinks I'm bulimic. FML
Today, after two full months of trying to gain weight, I haven’t gained a single pound. Instead, I now have severe and irreversible digestive problems from overeating. FML
Today, I was talking on the internet about my goal to get back up to a healthy weight. Their responses consisted of, “Uh, don’t you mean DOWN?” No, I meant up. I had a stomach condition for months that made me puke if I so much as thought about food. FML
Today, I finally weighed myself after going on a strict diet of only fruits, vegetables, and coffee. I gained weight. FML
Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML
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Top comments
jamieblue6 16
Well I guess that's one way of losing weight haha
Tripartita 45
You either need a doctor or somebody who specializes in words… might I suggest visiting an etymologist?
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Comments (23)
AcieMcG 21
I lost over a lb after my BM today XD my boyfriend 'you're full of more sh*t than that' thanks lol
drayloon 50
Hey, throwing up everything you eat gives you twice the taste with almost no calories, win-win
BlockOfRedStone 25
5 pounds? I wouldn't be surprised if the food I eat in a single day is about 5 pounds. My weight varies in a day by 5-10 pounds. I don't think that anyone should worry about weighing a few pounds more than usual - for all you know that's just some extra muscle you built from working out the past few weeks.
DoomedGemini 38
I don't like the "whatever it takes" thought.. Try different ways, sure, but check with health care professionals and make sure they're healthy. Hope you feel better soon though, op
XandWacky 23
I lost seven pounds in one day due to a serious sickness. It's unsettling.
dontknow1 19
Hey at least something good came out of it.
DocDrose 20
Horrible horrible karma... or irony?
yerawizardlizzy 27
Five pounds? Really?
Mahtari 19
I lose about 5lbs every time I take a dump
superlloyd 15
you would only eat your words had you been incorrect.