Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML
Today, I accidentally farted at a board meeting. My boss thought it came from the guy sitting next to me and gave him hell for being a pig. I was too mortified to say anything, even when the guy blamed it on me, which caused my boss to rage at him for lying and then to kick him out. FML
Today, the VP of my company stopped by my desk to personally deliver praise on my recent performance. I watched in helpless horror as the noxious fart I had just released slapped him in the face. He was too polite to leave but gagged through his entire speech. If farts can kill careers... FML
Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML
Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML
Today, I was in a meeting at work, trying to keep my composure. I quietly shifted in my chair and accidentally let out a fart. It echoed in the conference room, and everyone stared at me in stunned silence. My boss sarcastically said, “Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.” FML
Today, I was in a long meeting and desperately needed to fart. I carefully tried to release it slowly, but of course, it was the loudest fart I've ever made. Just after it happened, my boss looked at me and said, “That's the best contribution you've ever made in one of these meetings.” FML
Today, the CEO of my company wanted to meet with me. I was excited until I found out she just wanted to bitch me out and personally fire me. Later on, I found out my boss had totally shafted me and blamed the failure of a big project on me instead of admitting it was all his fault. FML
Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name when she followed me into the bathroom and called it out in a disgusted tone when I farted so loudly, she could hear it from four stalls over. FML
Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML
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Top comments
Nordrag 26
If I were in that room I'm not sure I would have been able to contain my laughter. Farts in tense situations are always funny.
hkhan24 23
you were probably not gonna get a promotion anyway if your profits are that poor..
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Comments (43)
godlife704 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That stinks
thejonac 21
now you're on your way to getting a better job :-) tbh farting is completely natural and you don't need anyone else's recognition if you yourself know you weren't joking about it
cari_cat 19
If the CEO can talk about a fart for 10 minutes, you know those profits were really bad and he was so pissed.
rvontr88 21
That's unfortunate. But that's also why they make Beano!
sprints54 19
I hope it was especially rancid then.
Mmmsushi 14
If it was a vile fart, shouldn't the smell have tipped him off you weren't trying to be funny? FYL OP.
flyingmind_fml 17
horrible bosses 3
haynesbrand93 6
no more chipotle for lunch OP
Axel5238 29
YDI You could've held it in. Especially, considering the situation or at the very least make up a reason to be excused.You are outside of illness/extreme circumstances expected to be able to control your bodily functions especially in a corporate environment.
archnarquibquib 21
So, while you are in a corporate office, you can't use the bathroom? Or eat? What about sneeze or cough? Get over yourself. I only know one person in my life who can control his farts and even then it makes him sick to do it.
Awesomeironman2 15
THE FML LITERALLY SAYS THAT IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
JKPwnage 27
Pull some awesome prank on the CEO then quit