Today, I was walking in the park when I heard some boys shouting behind me. As I turned around they poured a bucket of red liquid over my head. They thought I was someone they knew. I wasn't. And I was wearing a $200 white dress. Red dye doesn't come out of white dresses. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a party wearing a cute new pale blue dress. As I was walking through the crowd, I felt something cold and wet on my back. Someone had spilled a drink on me, but instead of saying anything, whoever did it pretended nothing happened. I spent the rest of the night with a giant dark blue wet stain on my back. FML
Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML
Today, despite my warnings, my only son married a girl I hate. To protest their marriage, I wore a white dress to the wedding. Her maid of honor "tripped" and spilled red wine all over me. FML
Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML
Today, as I walked out of a club, I slipped in my new shoes and spilled my chicken, chips and gravy on my brand new white dress. Not only did people see me do this, but my dress is ruined. FML
Today, I tried to dye my hair blonde using a DIY kit I found online. As I was washing out the dye, I realized my hair had turned bright orange. I had to wear a hat all day to avoid being seen in public with a Johnny Rotten fright-wig. FML
Today, I tried dyeing my hair at home to save some money. I carefully followed the instructions but when I rinsed it off, my hair turned a shocking shade of shiity neon green. Not wanting to leave the house looking like a radioactive toad, I wore a hat and hoped nobody would notice. FML
Today, I went to a theme party where everyone wore white shirts and brought markers to draw on them. I didn't know many people there but I still went around drawing on people's shirts. After a few hours, someone finally drew on my shirt. They wrote "I'm scary." FML
Today, I gave a toast at my friend's wedding. When I said, "Everybody raise your glasses," an industrial fan went off and blew my dress over my head. Now, people won't stop talking about how my "blue granny panties" didn't match my dress. FML
Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML
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Top comments
nato2101 0
Sue for damages, if the blokes had any decency they would have offer to pay for a new one anyway.
TWlCH 0
On a side note who walkes around with a thing of red liquid just incase you see someone you know?
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Comments (263)
fatty08 0
Haha, #22. I totally thought of Carrie when I read this, too.
GloomySkyz 0
....Well i guess you have a red dress now!
sashaingreyscale 0
I have to agree that #59 has a point. If your clothing is a) quality and b) looks good on you, it's going to cost a little more. You're also going to get more wear out of it than a $10 t-shirt that just sorta hangs, or clearance rack jeans that don't fit quite right. This is why I wear designer jeans, and only designer jeans. They're $70 a pair - on sale, at a 50% markoff (I never buy them full price), but for the way they fit, and for how long they last, they're totally worth it. If I were still growing and my weight was in a state of flux, spending this much on casual clothes would be stupid, since they'd only last one season. But I'm about to turn 21, and I still have pairs I bought in high school. Good quality, classic articles of clothing can be considered an investment.
Ibeapirate 0
They owe you $200. Even if you WERE someone they knew, what kind of idiots pour red liquid all over someone in a white dress in public??
ChelseaAnn08 0
Yeah...they owe you $200.
dumb_phuck 0
#27 "yeah like omg seriously" - I would love to punch you.
pilotmax 0
The moral of the story: Never wear white dresses when walking through the park.
dumb_phuck 0
#27 "yeah like omg seriously" - I would love to punch you.
HeyitsPheddy 0
Reminds me of the movie Carrie
indian_goddess 0
they better pay for your dress!