Today, while pumping gas, I stopped to think about what a failure my life is, and how badly I've treated people in my past. While deep in thought, I accidentally pulled the gas pump out too far and covered myself with gasoline. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while on a road trip with my friends, we stopped at a gas station to fill up. While I was pumping gas, a gust of wind blew my hat off and it landed in a puddle of gasoline. When I picked it up, my hands were covered in gasoline, so I smelled like a gas station for the rest of the trip. FML
Today, I stopped at the gas station to fill up my tank and get some snacks. I paid the cashier, then got back into my car, totally forgetting to pump the $50 worth of fuel I'd just prepaid for. Too bad I didn't realize until my car came to a sputtering stop about a mile down the road. FML
Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML
Today, I was at the gas station pumping gas when the lady in front of me had a little boy who asked if he could pump the gas. She said yes and then quickly answered her phone, as it was ringing. She wasn't watching him and he pulled out the pump to early, spraying gas all over me, including my face. FML
Today, I was pumping gas, when my daughter called me. After I hung up, I put my phone on the car roof while I grabbed my bag. I completely forgot about it and only realized when it shot off the roof as I braked at a traffic light. FML
Today, when paying for gas, I realized I'd forgotten my wallet back home. After a moment of panic, I managed to remember my card number. I paid, blowing the cute cashier's mind, and drove away, before my car started sputtering and slowed to a crawl. I'd used the wrong fuel. FML
Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML
Today, I was so engrossed in a phone call that I drove off without pumping gas after I'd prepaid $50. FML
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Today, I went to the gas station, paid the clerk, and drove off without pumping any gas. FML
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Top comments
csigabajnok 0
Pulling out too early can stain you badly :)
Lyrad 0
Hope you're not a smoker..
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Comments (47)
Harpy20 24
take a hint dude.
Futacy 30
That's how karma works. I hope you don't smoke.
mtravis32 0
Good thing no one had a lighter
that_nerdy_sock 3
Congradulations. You are now flammable.
brendonuriepatd 8
Lmfao gonna sound like a creeper saying this but panic at the disco is my favorite band too!
mrlopez 13
Spell "congradulations" as congratulations. It'll make your level of grammar match that of an undergrad.
brendonuriepatd 8
Karmas a bitch
rubyliu8420 7
Karma?.!
WellApparently 2
I think that means your gonna burn in hell.. let us pray..
DJ_G11_SMITH 8
Better hold off on smoking for a couple days
katiedoll6 7
I hope you didn't light a match buddy cos u woulda been toast literally
zebruhcakez 0
karma is a bitch