Today, I met one of my fiancé's coworkers. Normally I'd never ask how far along someone's pregnancy is without being 100% sure they're not just fat, but she seemed fit. Well, I now know that virtually all the fat in some people's bodies can go straight to their gut and nowhere else. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Today, a customer greeted me with, "So! When's the baby coming!?" I'm NOT pregnant. I just gain weight in my guts. FML
Today, I bumped into an old school friend. I'd heard she was pregnant so the first thing I did was congratulate her. Not only was she not pregnant, but the reason she managed to get so fat was because of comfort eating due to her miscarriage last month. FML
Today, I told my coworker she looked great and asked if she was “glowing” because she was pregnant. She isn’t pregnant. She is, however, going through a breakup and just gained 10 pounds from comfort eating. FML
Today, I attended my husband's holiday brunch at a company I also used to work for. I was excited to see former coworkers until one raced up, grabbed my belly, and in front of a crowded room, exclaimed, "You're pregnant!" Nope, just older and a bit fatter. FML
Today, I realised that my friend and I have the same cute, round belly. The problem is that she’s seven months pregnant and I’ve been on a diet with an intensive gym program since January. FML
Today, I was proudly telling my husband that I only gained 8 lbs throughout the pregnancy thus far. I usually obsess over my weight, so it was a great accomplishment for me. He then turned and pinched my arms, saying, "Well, looks like all the fat migrated to your arms." FML
Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML
Today, I met my SO's best friend for the first time. He gave us both a big smile and hug, and congratulated us on the pregnancy. Except… I'm just overweight, not pregnant. The entire two hour drive to his house was spent with me trying to hold back tears, and a very awkward silence between them. FML
Today, after losing five pounds from being sick, my first customer at work greeted me with, “Aaaahhhh, you’re expecting!” I’m not pregnant. I guess I didn’t lose my gut. FML
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Top comments
NoBothersForMe 29
Even if the person seems fit, you still NEVER ask, as bodies can be very deceiving. You should have listened to your own rule.
catwomam 15
I just follow the rule of never EVER asking ANY woman if she's pregnant unless the words "I am pregnant" come out of her mouth.
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Comments (106)
militarybrat 21
Ydi. Never ever ever assume. Good job.
bobsanction 18
Unless you see the baby's head in the womans ******, never, EVER assume someone is pregnant.
MitiMiki 16
Live and learn. Never, ever, ever ask a woman that question unless you are 100% positive.
Tomryan279 10
Never assume someone is pregnant always wait until you were told by that person that she's pregnant.
shinikageWolf 15
Should have waited for her to say something like "I'm having a baby." Or "I'm pregnant."
jvanevery 19
there's an old saying unless you can actually see the baby coming from the woman's ****** don't suggest she's pregnant
wRIPPERw 23
If you aren't sure, ask if they have kids. Aside from that, NEVER EVER ASK UNLESS THEY EXPLICITLY SAY "I'm pregnant". Listen to your own rule, dude.
The_ghetto_mango 25
Beware. Looks can be decieving, as with anything. NEVER, EVER, judge a book by its cover.
Jennababy2792 20
when I was pregnant I used the screw with people all the time for asking such as "I'm not pregnant" "really, it's a ******* sugar imbalance" "I had the baby 3 months ago"
wasliedtoasakid 22
You should have asked if she has any kids. It's pretty much foolproof.