Today, my husband removed the TV from our bedroom to improve our sex life. Still no sex because he watches TV on his iPhone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML
Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't initiate sex much anymore. The only way she will have sex is at night, lights out, covers on, TV turned up, and no foreplay or anything. It's so fucking boring, I'd rather just watch TV. FML
Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML
Today, it took me two hours to put all the kids to bed, so all I wanted to do was watch TV but my husband, who'd spent all that time asleep on the sofa, started pestering me for sex like he thought he deserved it after I'd asked him for help 3 times before just doing all the work myself. FML
Today, I found out that my booty call only likes to have sex with me so afterwards he can watch ESPN on my plasma screen TV, because he has neither. FML
Today, on our honeymoon, we’ve only had sex twice. Meanwhile, my husband has masturbated to porn at least once a day since we've got here, and it’s super obvious because he gets sleepy as hell after sex or a wank, while I’m left frustrated with nothing to do except watch Netflix and start drinking before noon. FML
Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Dswank620 18
Send him some nudes in the midst of his t.v. watching
darwinism 30
Next time tell him "Honey, can you turn your voume down? I like to hear my vibrator as it pleases me"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (87)
djxerxes9000 18
Then it's not getting that "hot"
drizzy11 18
That guys a fag
amisenho 11
So he moves the TV to be proactive and still can't find time to have sex without TV getting in the way? It sounds like he has an addiction.
LolCandy 27
The kind who don't like sex or have no sex drive. Who then expect their partners to be happy with not getting any love. The kind who make relationships miserable or who don't do well in them.
LolCandy 27
For all the people saying she should initiate- he may still not want to have sex. Wouldn't matter if she danced around in a "dancer" outfit on a pole with her bits in his face, some people just don't want to pleasure their partner. Ever. They can't keep it up because they have no drive or they view lovemaking as work. The best way for that sort of relationship to go is ending it, at least in my experience. OP, that situation is terrible. In that situation, a change is needed, or the relationship won't make it.
vintaqe 28
I think it's funny that us women get a bad rep for always not wanting to have sex, yet it seems like more and more nowadays its becoming the other way around.
vintaqe 28
#13 every man I've dated. I only get pity sex anymore. Apparently electronics > ******.
DarthVader77 9
No sex because you are less exciting than TV. It happens, do not worry. Sure you have million good qualities: being sexy is not one of the. Just like my soon-to-be ex wife
NakedOnTheMoon 5
Get another husband :)
UNLUCKYyY1037 26
Great idea. Take away the only thing good about bed and then expect it to help fix a broken sex life.