Today, I was partnered with this really sexy guy for an audition. He says, "Am I really stuck with you? I can't even stand being seen with you in public!" I start cursing him out really loud, but then I realize that he's only reading the script. Everyone was staring, and he called me a crazy bitch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my school's theater production was canceled. Not because of budget, but because my co-star fell in love with me and asked me out. When I pointedly declined, he refused to act alongside me since it was "awkward." Everyone's blaming me for it. FML
Today, I went to the movies. A really cute girl sat beside me. I tried to strike up a conversation with her until she turned to look at me and I realized he was a guy. I couldn't even finish the movie because I felt his judging eyes burn holes into me the entire time. FML
Today, I had a completely improvised audition for the school play. The director called me and one of the cutest guys auditioning to improvise an intimate scene. Knowing that I'm a complete klutz, I wasn't all that surprised when I tripped over my feet and landed with my face in his crotch. He was. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend outside a bar, when a hand on my shoulder yanked me back. I screamed and turned to see my husband glaring at me, with his best friend behind him, recording us on his phone. I'm fucked. FML
Today, I was at the local drive-thru with my boyfriend. While we were picking up the food, the asswipe at the window thought it hilarious to copy the scene from "American Beauty" and pretend that we were a couple and that I was cheating on him. My actual boyfriend believed it and won't talk to me. FML
Today, I had a theatre performance. I had to put on a lot of makeup for the role, and one of the guys said I looked nice. I smiled and said thanks. Seconds later, I'd been sucker-punched by his girlfriend for "flirting" with her man. FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
Today, we had to do a scene from Romeo and Juliet. I was Romeo, and this really pretty girl was Juliet. When she found out she was with me, I heard her say "FML." FML
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Top comments
lyndis_fml 0
Wow. Even if he HAD been saying that, cursing him out was indeed a crazy, bitchy thing to do.
nuclear 0
Now that's a funny coincidence. Was the crazy bitch part acting too or what? I think cussing him out was a biiit too much, acting or not.
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Comments (145)
mehwhateverr 0
Wouldn't the appropriate reaction be "...what did you just say?" and making sure it was really his words, not the script?
itsgen 16
haha lol thats classic! i cant believe you didnt know what ur script was on wtf are you even auditioning for a play if you cant even remember the script? haha ur sooo smart and yea ur a crazy bitch
allegronontroppo 4
Faakeee... Didn't you have a script or anything? And which play was it? High School Drama?
iM_JaMeS 0
**** u
onigiriqueen 0
Clearly, you ARE a crazy bitch.
yojoeletsmakeout 0
what kind of really sexy guy would audition for a play?
awesomeamandas 37
A guy who enjoys acting.
tWitt3rBuG 0
That's utterly stupid. Obviously you would have read the script before hand and knew what he was going to say? Seriously, kids desperate to get their fake FMLs published, should not be allowed on this site. FFS!
Xynie 20
Couldve been a cold read, but that still wouldnt make it better.
Glam_fml 0
Hahaha, this is one of the funniest FMLs I've read. Don't feel too bad though, I would have freaked out too if someone said they couldn't stand being with me in public. I guess you should have read through the script though, considering you were auditioning. You should have just played it off like that was how you were supposed to react in the play. Say you were just being creative.
DrAwesome 6
Yeah, it just seems like it's another one of those low self-esteem cases. And it's not even that: She didn't even know that he was reading lines already. Learn to pay attention and not fly off the handle so fast. I assume you didn't know the guy, so why would he say something like "I can't even stand being seen with you in public"? If you didn't know the audition's begun, then YDI.
teehee520 0
He's either really good or honestly thinks that about you.
rallets 23
that was the game, and he was the player its time to...TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHA!!!!! *motorhead playing in background* HES. THAT. DAMN. GOOD. (sorry i just felt like doing that)