Today, I was leaving work to go home and ran into some people setting up an event in one of our rooms. In my socially anxious way, I told them they couldn’t use our equipment by saying my boss is a massive bitch. Turns out he knows my boss and disagrees. I hope he doesn’t say anything. FML
Today, I wore new trousers to work. As I walked to my desk, I noticed a weird damp patch near my zip. Panicking, I thought I'd pissed myself. I rushed to the bathroom, then figured out that it was the condensation from my lunch container, which was in my bag that I had on my lap during the bus ride to work. FML
Today, I meant to forward an email to my coworker with the message “Can you believe this crap?” referring to our client’s request. Instead, I hit “Reply All.” The client responded: “Yes, I can believe it. And I expect it done by Friday.” FML
Today, I sat down to discuss wanting a promotion and ended up getting so nervous that I broke down crying in front of my boss. FML
Today, I quit a group chat full of very talented people drawing, programming, creating game mods, and translating comics. I was invited because of my drawings, but I couldn't talk to them, nor could I show my talents because of the many talented people in there. I quit due to feeling inferior. I HATE my inferiority complex. FML
Today, I realized I had accidentally swapped phones with my coworker. She now has access to my search history, which includes: "Can cats sense shame?", "Is it OK to eat expired hummus?" and “Why do I hate my coworkers so much?” FML
Today, my manager and I were talking about one of our new hires, who I have been getting on well with already. My manager is happy with the newbie's work, but not with their interactions with our coworkers. Yeah… that's on me. My bad. FML
Today, at work, I was making an appointment for an old lady who told me, "You look like a movie star!" I started to thank her when she followed up with, "Like that girl from the horror movie! Your black hair and pale skin makes you look scary! Oh, sorry…" with the coworker I hate the most sitting right next to me. FML
Today, our boss told me and her other salaried staff, "There is literally no problem this office faces that can't be solved by you all working after hours and on weekends." FML
Today, a coworker told me that another coworker only treats me badly because I never asked her out. We’ve worked together for 3 years, if she wanted a date why didn’t she just ask me out instead? All she did was ruin her chances; she’s been so mean to me, I’d never ask her out now. What petty BS. FML
Today, I'm ruining my own life by being incredibly lazy at my new job. It scares me, as my family is dependent on my income, and I love this job too. Why am I always on self-destruct mode? I really want to snap out of it and be hardworking like so many others I know (including my husband). FML
Today, on my first day at my new job delivering mail, I was yelled at by a guy, who threatened to shoot me if I "trespassed" on his property. He made me toss his mail toward his porch from the street, before telling me to get lost. FML
Today, my girlfriend cried that I'm never available for her when she has a difficult time. I do everything I can to be available for her, but I draw the line at spending 30+ minutes at work listening to her cry over the phone. FML
Today, I was telling my coworker that I was considering quitting the shady, 50-shades-of-scum business we work at. He snitched to our boss, who quickly fired me on bullshit charges of incompetence, theft, and workplace bullying. I guess I'm not getting a good reference from him. FML
Today, some total dipshit at my workplace tripped over their own feet and split their knee open bad enough to need stitches, ruining our plant’s safety record and screwing us out of free pizza. The worst part is that the dipshit in question was me. FML
Today, I was put on unpaid medical leave against my will. I’m not sick, nor am I injured. I talked with HR and they can’t cancel it. FML
Today, when I took off my shoes to change into my work boots, I smelled dog poop. I must have stepped in it on the way to my car this morning. Guess what the floor mat of my brand new car looks (and smells) like… FML
Today, I got home at 7 after a long, stressful 12-hour shift. The second I walked through the door, my wife said, "Can you hurry up and make dinner? We're all starving." This happens all the damn time. FML
Today, after one year of overworking myself to the point of panic attacks multiple times a week, I finally got my annual raise, which is given based on performance and effort. My warehouse's minimum production is 95. I regularly was in the 130s. My raise was 2 cents. FML
Alesana_pond tells us more.
op here!!! I have since quit! **** Michael's.
Today, my fiance lost his shit when I told him that I’ve decided to go to nursing school. He claims that all nurses are cheating whores and that if I become one we’re through. His source? The troglodytes that thrive in the bowels of the internet. All because one guy got his heart broken by a nurse. FML
Today, I decided to play hooky to go buy new toys from the sex store to spice things up for my girlfriend and me. Well, things got awkward when my boss was also playing hooky and in the same sex store after I'd told him I was out for a funeral. FML
Today, our manager went on a screaming tantrum because he says none of us wants to work and we make him look bad to the bosses. Yeah, the reason we’re not working is because he forgot to order our steel this week. Can’t do custom welding without the materials, boss. FML
Today, I was working on a middle school project that needed to be at a 900 percent or above, this being my math level. I take a 8th grade algebra class so I needed mine to well be a 900, and after months of working I'd got it there. I got one answer wrong and it sent me to 860, where I’ve been for the last 12 hours. FML
Today, a customer has been tanking my business online, claiming I’m a fraud and stole her money. She ordered a painted copy of one of her wedding photos and was mad she couldn’t pick it up that same afternoon. Do you have any idea how long portraits take to paint? Longer than two hours I can tell you. FML
Today, I was expecting a big sum of money for skipping last year's vacation while working as a freelancer, as I've done the last four years. Turns out I won't get the money, as last month I accepted a full time employment, and now that money has been turned into vacation days instead. Guess I won't buy a new home yet… FML
Today, I was on a Zoom call with my mic muted. Or so I thought. After about a minute, I started ranting about how Janet always gets credit for my work. Janet was in the meeting. So was my boss. None of them was receptive to my criticism. FML
Today, I finally got the call from HR telling me I passed the interview and will get a permanent position, doing the same job I already do. Then they continued to say that if I accept, my pay will be cut to match “other employees pay”. I barely make it on what they are paying me now. I also have a Master's degree. FML
Today, I retired after 38 years. I went in expecting a proper goodbye, tears, and handshakes. I got none of that; they had me work like normal, then escorted me out after my shift because legally they had to make sure I’d definitely left the building. Not even a retirement card. FML
Today, I got back to work from a 4 month hospital stay and I joked with my boss that after so long away, I’m not planning on being sick again for years. Two hours later, a coworker knocked me down the stairs. A dislocated hip and a broken femur requiring 4-6 weeks of recovery. FML
Today, I spent most of the day with my stinkiest co-worker's soggy shoes level with my face. FML
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