LieutenantDimwit · 11 August 2026, 12:00 ·Giza, Egypt

Memorable challenge

Today, I challenged myself and went skydiving! However, I made the mistake of doing so on an empty stomach. I made it through the freefall, and through most of the canopy bit, until low-blood-sugar induced dizziness made me blackout on final approach. I still remember most of it, but now I feel emasculated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99 You deserved it 336

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thatstinks · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·Iceland

Mystery solved

Today, I finally found out what the weird sour smell that's been in my dorm room for a while is. My roommate's sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 793 You deserved it 3 016

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Not really a fan · 10 August 2026, 15:00 ·Makati City, Philippines

Stans

Today, at the mall, my 89 year-old Grandma went, "Look dear! Aren't they the singing and dancing Chinese girls you like so much?" and "They ARE girls, right?" I had to pull her away fast from the group of die-hard fangirls who were looking at her with murderous intent. She was looking at a BTS standee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273 You deserved it 91

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IVOaf · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·United States

Bad start to the day

Today, as I tried to get out of bed, I got my foot tangled in my sheets. I reached out to my dresser to avoid falling flat on my face. I didn't fall, but I did manage to smash my fingers in the drawer while still trapped in the sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 835 You deserved it 4 932

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Sorry · 10 August 2026, 03:00 ·Glasgow, United Kingdom

Stalker woes

Today, I liked a photo posted in 2016 while scrolling through someone's social media profile. In a panic, I blocked him. Ten minutes later, I remembered that we work together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 You deserved it 393

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buzzzzzzzzz · 10 August 2026, 00:00 ·Atlanta, United States

Buzz off

Today, I finally slapped the shit out of the mosquito that had been buzzing around my room all night. I celebrated, turned off the light, and immediately began hearing another one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347 You deserved it 90

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Anonymous · 9 August 2026, 20:00 ·Riverside, United States

The biohazard downstairs

Today, I’ve lived in my apartment for more than five years and never had more than the occasional housefly. Three months after I got new downstairs neighbors I’ve been hit with a massive roach infestation, and they decided to bring their lovely ant friends with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382 You deserved it 60

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Invisible · 9 August 2026, 12:00 ·United States

The Doors

Today, I walked into an automatic glass door at a mall when it failed to open. A woman asked if I was OK, so I said, "I'm fine, the door must be busted." The automatic door then opened immediately after, proving it worked just fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286 You deserved it 85

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weekend starts here · 9 August 2026, 09:00 ·Berlin, Germany

Masterchef

Today, I put leftovers in the microwave, pressed two minutes, and walked away. I came back to discover I'd started the kitchen timer instead. I'd spent two minutes waiting for food that had never even started warming up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 You deserved it 342

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Anonymous · 9 August 2026, 03:00 ·Australia

Threat level: Baked

Today, I opened a bag of flour a little too enthusiastically and it blew up. The resulting cloud of flour set off my smoke alarm. My neighbors then came knocking, wondering if the building was on fire, while I stood there looking like I'd been pranked by a baker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267 You deserved it 120

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Anonymous · 9 August 2026, 00:00 ·United States

Where are you?

Today, I tried to catch a spider with a cup. I missed, dropped the cup, and now neither the spider nor I know where the other one is. Spiders freak me out, but I was trying to deal with it humanely, so I hope it remembers that fact if and when we meet again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264 You deserved it 121

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Anonymous · 8 August 2026, 09:00 ·Tampa, United States

Birds of a feather

Today, my husband went to grab a DoorDash order while I decided to gift some cigarettes, some leftover pizza from lunch, and a few dollars to a sweet traveler. As I got back into the car, my husband said, "I was about to say 'Look a the homeless congregation', then I realized it was you and that lady." FML

I agree, your life sucks 224 You deserved it 100

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Anonymous · 7 August 2026, 03:00 ·United Kingdom

Confused man

Today, my dad made me come home from work because he couldn’t find his shopping list (on the fridge, in plain sight), his left shoe (by the door, in plain sight), his cane (on the table, in plain sight) or his wallet (in his trouser pocket). He’s 44 and to my knowledge does not have dementia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367 You deserved it 66

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bad movie · 5 August 2026, 09:00 ·United States

Lost in film

Today, I got to the movie theater early to avoid missing the previews. I sat through 20 minutes of trailers before realizing I was in the wrong auditorium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 You deserved it 363

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Anonymous · 5 August 2026, 03:00 ·Las Vegas, United States

Room service

Today, I spent at least 10 minutes trying to get into my hotel room because my key card wouldn't work. I finally went to the front desk, where they came along with me, then politely informed me I was trying to open the room next door to mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 You deserved it 384

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Chris · 4 August 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Not enough RAM

Today, I got a notification that my package had been delivered. I searched my porch, checked with my neighbors, and even contacted customer support. It was sitting in my car's trunk because I'd picked it up from a parcel locker yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 You deserved it 428

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needanewphone · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·United States

Good vibrations

Today, while I was getting ready to take a shower, I placed my phone on the counter next to the toilet. While I was washing my hair, someone called me. My phone was on vibrate, so I didn't hear it until it vibrated off the counter and into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 069 You deserved it 32 664

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I want to forget too... · 3 August 2026, 12:00 ·New York, United States

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535 You deserved it 62

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Anonymous · 3 August 2026, 03:00 ·Irving, United States

We don't trust you

Today, my dad and stepmom insisted on having a babysitter stay with me while they go off on their 3-week vacation. I'm 22 and work full-time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449 You deserved it 78

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Wasted effort · 2 August 2026, 20:00 ·United States

Lucid boredom

Today, I finally managed to have a lucid dream. I went to soar across the sky like Superman. Nothing happened. I went to have dream sex with a hot babe. Her body was just a blur and I didn't feel anything. I literally cannot recall the last time I was so disappointed in anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242 You deserved it 172

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Lexa · 2 August 2026, 12:00 ·United States

Suspicious activity

Today, my husband made an elaborate heartfelt speech to a female colleague regarding her job promotion during her celebration dinner that had everyone in tears. During our wedding, he insisted on not do wedding vows because he “doesn’t like all that emotional shit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 438 You deserved it 95

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peapapeanut · This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

BFF

Today, after months of my best friend telling me we were going to be roommates and moving to a new city together, with me trusting her, she ditched me because “everyone” told her not to live with me. She’s still moving, and we’re going to be in the same school and class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 027 You deserved it 222

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Anonymous · 1 August 2026, 22:00 ·Portland, United States

Where is my mind?

Today, I spent minutes trying to open my apartment door before realizing I was one floor above my own. My terrified neighbor watched me struggle with my keys through their peephole the entire time, until he yelled "I'M CALLING 911!" and I realized where I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 You deserved it 303

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STRESSED OUT · 1 August 2026, 15:00 ·Hull, United Kingdom

Out of time

Today, I set ten alarms for an important appointment and still woke up convinced I’d missed it. I spent the morning panicking for no reason and showed up looking exactly how I felt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 You deserved it 228

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WTF · 1 August 2026, 09:00 ·Los Angeles, United States

Peak efficiency

Today, I got round to organizing my apartment, sorting everything into boxes and shelves. However, due to my arbitrary sorting method, I now can't find everyday things because they're not in their usual place (in a clutter on my desk), including the charger cable I used five minutes ago. My place looks organized. My life does not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145 You deserved it 279

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Anonymous · 31 July 2026, 22:00 ·Canada

The void

Today, I found the missing sock from my laundry inside the sleeve of a hoodie I’d already worn twice. I now know where my laundry goes to hide from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254 You deserved it 93

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Anonymous · 31 July 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Been there, done that

Today, I spent an hour trying to figure out why my laptop wouldn't charge. I restarted it three times, watched two tutorials, and almost ordered a new charger until I realized that the actual charger wasn't plugged into the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 You deserved it 448

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[email protected] · 31 July 2026, 09:00 ·Garden City, United States

Toast

Today I watched my 90 year-old father-in-law's friend dip an entire piece of bread into her wine glass, swish it around with her fork, and then eat it. In a restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290 You deserved it 87

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boyfriend123 · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

I spy…

Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5 a.m. because she thought someone was watching her from the park. It was a trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 057 You deserved it 3 548

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Fonz · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Horny dudes

Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 560 You deserved it 57 637

117 comments Share