Today, I finally received my new computer in the mail. I was so excited, I kissed the box. The truck driver definitely noticed. FML
Today, I was the last to go upstairs, so I had to turn off the lights. My tired brain decided to use my phone flashlight to check if all the lights were out. FML
Today, my smartphone addiction reached a new level of pathetic when I checked my weather app to see if it was cloudy outside. There was a window right behind me. FML
Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed, "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a Dementor. FML
Today, I saw an article about how some people think internet access is more important than sex. I asked my boyfriend which he thought was more important. He chose internet access. FML
Today, my ex, whom I haven't seen in two years, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer. FML
Today, I got invited out by friends for coffee after I broke up with my boyfriend. When I told my mom where I was going, she looked at me and said, "But you don't have friends. All your friends are pixels. Where are you really going?" FML
Today, I called Tech Support because the computer program wouldn't let me open files for my online classes. After an hour, and being walked through the downloading process multiple times. There was a pause and he said, "You're a fucking idiot." and hung up. It still won't work. FML
Today, I realized that I know more about the history of the Transformers than I do about talking to women. FML
Today, I told myself, "Come on you geek, go outside, get some sun, get your ass away from in front of your computer, go for a walk." I finally mustered the courage to leave my house. Without my keys. I've now been in an internet café for four hours. FML
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