By poorgary - 18/12/2008 11:46 - France Today, it's my birthday. It's 6.30 pm. I'm still the only person aware of what day it is. FML I agree, your life sucks 35 845 You deserved it 2 727 Share Tweet Share
Today, after my wife broke my heart years ago when she cheated, I then met my sexual ying, and developed a napalm relationship, but she lost her marriage and relies on me for everything. So now I have FOUR human beings relying on me. Nobody should say anything but I deserved it. FML I agree, your life sucks 219 You deserved it 1 635
Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions." Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML I agree, your life sucks 56 370 You deserved it 9 479
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML I agree, your life sucks 58 073 You deserved it 10 392
Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML I agree, your life sucks 35 574 You deserved it 3 634
Today, I happily told my husband I'm pregnant. He happily informed me that very, VERY large babies run in his family, and even though he was born 3 weeks early, he still weighed 15 lbs. The smallest baby to ever be born into his family was his great grandmother, who was 12 lbs. OH GOD, THE PAIN. FML I agree, your life sucks 5 294 You deserved it 815
Today, my mother had just got home and we were both in the kitchen. She then starts to get out food and I smelled deviled eggs. Delighted, I asked, "Do I smell deviled eggs?" She turned around laughing and announced she'd farted. I effectively got hungry from my mother’s fart. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 410 You deserved it 375
Today, my 27-year-old boyfriend told me he hides our condoms in his Poké Ball. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 003 You deserved it 525
Today, I was on a date and tried to act seductive and mysterious by slowly sipping my drink while making eye contact with him. I misjudged the straw’s length and location and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML I agree, your life sucks 145 You deserved it 548