ZombieGirl · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Tampa, United States

Home sweet home, huh?

Today, I signed the lease on my first apartment alone with my boyfriend. We've lived here a month before we got to sign. Today is also the day my neighbors decided to show how they're night owls: all I hear is banging on the walls and them loudly talking and yelling. This will be a long year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 022 You deserved it 1 884

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Anonymous · 19 August 2025, 15:00 ·United States

Good friends

Today, I have been trying to get pregnant for 4 years. I’ve gone through numerous expensive fertility treatments with no success. A former friend of mine owes me almost $2K. I’ve asked for the money back numerous times so that I can use it to pay for another round of IVF. She won’t pay. She just announced that she's pregnant.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511 You deserved it 139

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ClintBEASTw00d · 19 August 2025, 12:00 ·Surrey, Canada

Lactose intolerant

Today, at the gym, I attempted to deadlift after binge eating ice cream last night. I need new underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 You deserved it 553

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Anonymous · 19 August 2025, 09:00 ·Seattle, United States

Average office interaction

Today, I tried to compliment a coworker on her new haircut, saying, “Wow, it makes you look so much younger!” She raised an eyebrow and replied, “You mean I looked old before?” My brain short-circuited and I followed up with, “No, no, you just… looked older.” Everyone within earshot laughed while I wanted to crawl under the desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368 You deserved it 250

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Huntingtown, United States

Smooth criminal

Today, my neighbor's son siphoned the fuel out of my lawn mower and put it in his car. What he didn't realize is that the fuel mixture I use in my lawn mower would ruin his car engine. His dad says it's my fault and actually insists I should pay his pissant son's repair bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 774 You deserved it 2 182

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Philomena87 · 19 August 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Scurry away

Today, I went to do laundry in my apartment building. I thought no one was around, so I walked down in my pajamas (a giant t-shirt with holes and socks with sandals). Of course, I ran into the neighbor I’ve had a crush on for months. He was shirtless, holding a laundry basket like an ad for cologne. He smiled and said, “Nice, erm, outfit?” I’ve never sprinted back upstairs faster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169 You deserved it 470

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Ethan · 18 August 2025, 22:00 ·United Kingdom

Good boy nonetheless

Today, I took my new puppy to the dog park, proud of my cute little fluff ball. Instead of behaving nicely like the other dogs present, my dog ignored every toy, treat and friendly dog, and ran straight into a pond. He emerged soaked, covered in mud, and proudly dropped a muddy stick at my feet like it was a trophy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182 You deserved it 414

4 comments Share

We almost had a collective panic attack over nothing! · 18 August 2025, 20:00 ·Steele, United States

Panic!

Today, I checked Life360 to see how close my dad was to home. His profile stopped moving for several minutes, then it greyed out and the app said he couldn't be found. My mom and I thought something terrible had happened. After one very stressful half hour, he appeared. His phone had gone into airplane mode… somehow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137 You deserved it 427

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anonymous · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Brief encounter

Today, I decided to adopt a 11 year-old dog that had been in need of a home for several months. Two hours after I got him home, I discovered him dead in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 270 You deserved it 4 067

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Anonymous · 18 August 2025, 15:00 ·United States

Work husbands and wives…

Today, I (35) have a crush on my supervisor (55) [we're both managers). I cannot get my mind off them. They are married and have kids my age. It's not just looks, but how they treat me, feels like they actually respect me, which I don’t feel like people do. I know nothing will happen between us, but can't stop thinking about them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245 You deserved it 361

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testuser · 18 August 2025, 12:00 ·Singapore, Singapore

Classic case of the Mondays

Today, I spilled coffee on myself and now my brand new shirt is ruined, and I have to go to an important meeting immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264 You deserved it 254

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Anonymous · 18 August 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Double standard

Today, I realized I sacrificed all my friends to make sure my marriage was successful, but sometimes when under extreme stress from my wife, I use the B-word and that’s enough for her to want to leave me. However, it’s perfectly fine for her to say "Fuck you" and that I’m a everything but a decent human being. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296 You deserved it 484

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·Netherlands

Daddy

Today, my little girl spoke her first word. It was ''Daddy." Daddy left before she was born and she has never met him before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 440 You deserved it 5 073

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lordoftheweird · 18 August 2025, 03:00 ·Kamloops, Canada

Charming

Today, my grandmother tried to lecture me about discrimination. This is the same woman who lies about her grandchildren's race, and tried to convince a Jewish person that the Jews were responsible for the Holocaust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440 You deserved it 109

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jfc · 18 August 2025, 00:00 ·Amsterdam, Netherlands

Superhero stuff

Today, I bumped into the bitchy mean girl who bullied me mercilessly throughout high school, leaving deep emotional scars. When I told my boyfriend who she was, he picked her up, carried her out of the store, and threw her into a puddle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 239

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Stevie · 17 August 2025, 22:00 ·Boston, United States

Naughty boy

Today, I had a date over for the first time. Everything was going well until my dog decided to wedge himself between us on the couch, growl at my date, and then pee on his shoes. My date laughed it off, but my dog seemed to be giving me a smug “I warned you” look for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218 You deserved it 264

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nothealthy · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff ·Minneapolis, United States

Thanks for your concern

Today, my sister called after she found out I was hospitalized with surgery complications. Worried about me? Wondering if I'm okay? Nope. Just mad that I texted her an update rather than calling. I didn't call because I had surgery on my throat and can't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 496 You deserved it 1 305

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Stevey · 17 August 2025, 15:00 ·United States

Happiest day of my life

Today, during a moment of silence at a wedding, my phone rang at full volume. My ringtone? The Jurassic Park theme. Everyone turned to stare as I fumbled desperately to shut it off. The bride spent the rest of the ceremony giving me the side-eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 You deserved it 706

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Louis · 17 August 2025, 12:00 ·Brisbane, Australia

Fireworks

Today, I tried to warm soup in a travel mug. I forgot to take the metal spoon out. The microwave lit up like a firework display, and I screamed so loudly that my neighbor knocked on my door to check if I was alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 You deserved it 502

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KLO65 · 17 August 2025, 09:00 ·Burlington, United States

The shape of you

Today, I told my gym trainer I’d do anything to get in shape. He challenged me to run a mile without stopping. I agreed, then got winded halfway through and dramatically collapsed on the track. A 70 year-oldish woman jogged past me and said, “You’ll live.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 157 You deserved it 458

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

The one with the phone addiction

Today, after feeling like I've been sucking as a friend and contacting a friend who has called me their best friend, but doesn't talk to me much, we grabbed a coffee. The whole time I was trying to have a conversation, she was on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 919 You deserved it 268

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Anonymous · 17 August 2025, 03:00 ·Ballston Spa, United States

You never know

Today, a woman came up to my cash register, where I was struggling with the cash, and asked if we took cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342 You deserved it 110

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Anonymous · 17 August 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Local dog catcher

Today, I saw what I thought was my neighbor’s dog running loose down the street. I chased him for a full block, shouting, “Buster! Come here, buddy!” I finally caught him, only for an angry stranger to yell, “That’s my dog! And his name is Kevin!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 357 You deserved it 140

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Anonymous · 16 August 2025, 22:00 ·Surrey, Canada

Pinhead

Today, I'm 35 years-old and I had to buy myself a hat from the kids section. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327 You deserved it 98

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ChocolateEverywhere · This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff ·Melbourne, Australia

A whole load of mess

Today, while I was at work, my kids had the great idea to make chocolate milk. My husband had the great idea not to clean up the chocolate mix the kids spilled, so the floor got covered in chocolate footprints. The cat then had the great idea to step in the mix, and cover everything else in chocolate paw prints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 178 You deserved it 591

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Anonymous · 16 August 2025, 15:00 ·United States

Lunch is on me

Today, to eat healthy, I made myself a salad for lunch. While shaking the salad container, the lid popped off, sending lettuce, cucumbers and dressing all over my cubicle. My boss walked in just in time to see me wiping vinaigrette off of my keyboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347 You deserved it 162

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What have I done? · 16 August 2025, 12:00 ·Amsterdam, Netherlands

As it should

Today, I was so envious of my thin, pretty, genetically perfect sister getting a date that I lied to my mom, saying she was a prostitute. I made a fake escort page and used her pics. My mom lost her shit and kicked my sister out, but now the guilt is eating me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 You deserved it 1 604

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Anonymous · 16 August 2025, 09:00 ·Vancouver, Canada

Overly polite in public

Today, I was browsing the frozen section at the store when I saw movement in my peripheral vision. Thinking it was another customer, I said “Oh sorry, go ahead.” No one responded. I turned to see my own reflection in the freezer door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340 You deserved it 136

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·United States

Quite the effort

Today, someone peed in my physical education locker. The only way someone could've done it is with a ladder. I'm so popular it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 904 You deserved it 5 372

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I hate puns · 16 August 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Classic dad joke

Today, we got a dog. My husband was adamant that we should name him Gonit, so I agreed. A friend asked what the name meant, and my husband said, "Why wouldn't you name a dog Gonit?" Then I got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288 You deserved it 157

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