Nearly FMLs

By onnanohito - 28/06/2018 09:45

Today, I came home from a week long vacation in Florida to find my animals without food and water and one of my gerbils missing. What a way to end a vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 13

By Trish - 28/06/2018 05:37

Today, I spent my 44th Birthday alone. I raised 2 kids, was with a man 25 yrs, 4 dogs, owned 6 homes, did everything right. No one called, not even my kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 9

By novice - 28/06/2018 03:18

Today, I was cooking, and some hot oil popped off the pan and hit me in the eye. Not only is this not the first time it’s happened, but I also wear glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 4

By punchinthegriefbone - 28/06/2018 02:09

Today, I came home to my apartment without any of my fiance's belongings. She moved all her things out behind my back and her parents took my new car and gave me her old one. She then broke up with me on Facebook and I later found out she had been cheating on me at work. I had just bought her roses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 5

By Bad Timing - 27/06/2018 23:01

Today, I once again visit my long-distance boyfriend. I started my period almost two weeks early, not even three hours after arriving at his house. The same thing happened the last time I was here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 8

By juna - 27/06/2018 21:27

Today, after months of being on Tinder, I finally got a match. Turns out, he’s a 300 pound man who isn't only pooping his pants daily, but also takes pride in the fact and uses it as a conversation starter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 8

By "swervelol" - 27/06/2018 13:23 - United States

Today, I realized my parents will not be coming to help me move into my first apartment on my birthday. I live across the country and they have all my furniture and belongings. The reason they won't come? A very distant cousin planned their wedding the same day. Guess I'll sleep on the floor. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 12

By bobthereaper - 27/06/2018 11:00 - United States - Aurora

Today, I made a cheese quesadilla and some grapes for my lunch. My mom saw, snatched the plate away from me, and threw the food away because those foods don't "go together". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 696

You deserved it 309

By live2804 - 27/06/2018 12:22

Today, my cat broke a lot of plates that belonged to my grandmother. It was estimated that those plates were worth over 5000 dollars. Thanks cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 21

By Con - 27/06/2018 08:40

Today, I found out my girlfriend is extremely jealous of my birth mother and freaks out every time I go to meet her. I'm now not allowed to spend time with the woman whom I've waited all of my life to meet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 13

By "crazycornball" - 26/06/2018 22:44 - United States - Westport

Today, I was at work when a customer asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, just 10 pounds overweight. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 9

By "D3LT4W01F27763" - 27/06/2018 04:14

Today, I discovered that my leg hair is long enough to be braided. It was my boyfriend who pointed it out to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 59

By Sage - 27/06/2018 02:45

Today, I heard my dog ripping something up in my bedroom. Come to find out she was throwing a used condom around my room from my brothers trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 8

By Crooner - 27/06/2018 01:18

Today, I learned that my singing is apparently so bad, my cat cries and thinks I'm being hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 15

By "Roseicat" - 26/06/2018 23:57

Today, I had a severe allergic reaction to my vaginal thrush cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 5

By WaitAMinute - 26/06/2018 20:30

Today, the person that I fell in love with told me that his real name was Jeremy. For three months I thought her name was Sara. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 15

By BathroomGirl - 26/06/2018 19:24

Today, while working at a preschool, my boss came and told me to run and hide in the bathroom as DCF is here and I don't have proper training. It's been an hour, I'm still sitting here.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 35

By Vileblood91 - 26/06/2018 18:56

Today, I went to the chiropractor to get adjusted for the first time in a few years, after she looked at my x-rays, she turns to me and says "you have arthritis in your back, a birth defect in your left hip as well as the neck of someone who was rear ended in a car crash." I was never in a car crash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 5

By xxjrotcgurlxx - 26/06/2018 16:36

Today, I had interned for a local business last summer and they had asked me to work full time for them after graduation. I thought I was lucky to not have to apply to places after graduation. However, between visiting them on Christmas break and graduation, they went bankrupt and closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 6

By "littlekellilee" - 26/06/2018 10:23

Today, I tried to get my husband in the mood after 547 days of no sex by simply telling him we're having sex tonight in a sexy way. Instead of being turned on, he freaked out and yelled "no one would want to have sex after being told that! * and stormed out. Looks like it's about to be 548 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 13

By heather1991 - 26/06/2018 07:06

Today, while everyone was sleeping, my 2 year old pooped in his diaper... and dug into it. My 1 year old woke up and saw that and puked. Now I have to clean up messes from both ends. Ugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 12

By crazycrj6969 - 26/06/2018 06:17

Today, I found out that my now ex boyfriend joined the Navy as an excuse to break up with me because he didn't have the balls to just do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 5

By toe friend - 26/06/2018 03:10

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend is more interested in my bare feet than my penis. She’s asked to suck my toes more times than I’ve asked for a blowjob. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 6

By r1has - 26/06/2018 00:55

Today I was boiling water for pasta. When I checked back in after 5 minutes, it hadn't boiled. No, I didn't forget to turn on the stove. But I did forget to put it on the stove after turning it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25

You deserved it 64

By Tree guy - 26/06/2018 00:23

Today, I was doing a tree removal that I carefully planned out. It went perfectly to plan until finally on the very last log to cut out of the tree which weighed probably about 3000 pounds. I cut it and it landed in the right spot, then sprung 8 feet into the garage crushing the side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 7

By but why - 25/06/2018 17:07 - Canada - Whitby

Today, I specifically told my mom to give me $20 for food on a field trip. She apparently forgot, because I am now in a restaurant with no money to buy food with. Everyone else has food. I haven't eaten in 9 1/2 hours, and I'm starving. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 43

By Hopeless - 25/06/2018 21:23

Today, marks exactly three years since I broke up with my boyfriend for cheating on me. Since then, he and the girl he cheated on me to have gotten married, while I haven’t gotten laid once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 5

By Witty - 25/06/2018 18:11

Today, I was talking to my older sister about a guy that I have been crushing on for the better part of a decade. She did some research, and it turns out the guy is distantly related to my stupid ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 8

By CrapDay - 25/06/2018 14:40

Today, in the last 24 hours, 3 of my close family members were admitted to the hospital. I didn't know about one until I walked into their room by accident. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 6

By anonymous - 25/06/2018 06:22

Today, after building up the courage to ask my crush out for so long, I finally asked her out. Her response. “I want a guy like you, but I don’t want you. You’re weird” There goes a 4 year friendship FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 7

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my grandparents visited. My grandpa kept getting off the couch and walking around to "stretch his legs." He kept kicking out my computer's network cable and messing up my game, smirking each time he did it. When I complained, my mom told me to shut up and show some respect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 709

You deserved it 28 732

Today, my 12-year-old daughter is a Nirvana fan, while my 20-year-old son is a Justin Bieber fan. How did that happen? FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 103

Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple smirnoff, I puked up the Chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 288

You deserved it 8 118

Today, my husband and I cleaned our house. We swept, mopped, vacuumed, dusted, and scrubbed. We moved the furniture and got in the cracks. We were extremely thorough. At 9 p.m., our cat had diarrhea and he got it all over himself. He didn't know what to do, so he ran through the house, spraying poop everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318

You deserved it 146

Today, I cleaned the two staircases at the hotel where I work. Five minutes later, someone complained they were dirty. Someone had dropped soda and got mud all over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 66

Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 781

You deserved it 10 430