The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By ayye_its_nikki - 19/12/2012 05:07 - United States - Cedar Park

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 553

You deserved it 21 380

By chocolateteacup - 06/05/2016 09:30 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I took my neighbor, who lives alone, to the hospital as she was complaining of stomach pains. Being a healthcare professional, all signs pointed to appendicitis. We waited for 6 hours to be told she needed to poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 395

You deserved it 1 130

chocolateteacup tells us more.

chocolateteacup 25

Saturday 7 May 2016 0:28

Hi Guys! OP here :) Thanks so much for your kind comments. I really appreciate it. I had only met her about 3 weeks before the incident and we only hung out once or so. Actually, she wasn't apologetic about it, nor was she grateful. It was almost as though she expected me to take her there... Or perhaps she was just embarrassed.

By Username - 12/03/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 233

You deserved it 8 343

By Anonymous - 12/08/2009 07:39 - Australia

Today, at the breakfast table my mum asked me what I thought about the plumber who came to our place a couple of weeks ago. I told her that I thought he was really cute and how hard I tried to flirt with him, she nodded and told me that he is her new boyfriend and might move in with us soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 312

You deserved it 5 993

By unluckylassy - 28/11/2013 00:01 - Ireland

Today, after moving miles to be with my boyfriend, I logged onto his computer just in time to see his other girlfriend had sent naked pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 245

You deserved it 6 226

By MoreActionThanMe - 11/12/2012 00:04 - United States

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 953

You deserved it 2 825

'Tis the season to be jolly, falalala lala la la

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom hung her new "Christmas Clock" on the wall. It plays a different Christmas carol every hour, on the hour. It's only December 2nd and I'm already starting to understand why suicide rates sky rocket this time of year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 738

You deserved it 2 893

By someexplanationrequired - 03/08/2009 17:24 - Canada

Today, I broke my mother's Tiffany lamp from the 1920's. Practically crying, I raced onto the computer to try to find one to order before she comes back in three weeks. The lamp is worth over twelve thousand dollars, and the only way I'm getting one is if I lived 90 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 080

You deserved it 25 889

viola98 tells us more.

viola98 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 5:19

Clarification: I broke the lamp by complete accident. I was vaccuming my living room and I caught the edge of the vaccuum on the end of the coffee table, and the light went crashing to the ground. I did tell my mom, and she was initially upset, but the lamp itself didn't have any sentimental value, making the situation a bit better. It was a vintage lamp she got at an auction in France. Thank you for your concerns and comments, haha, I've learned my lesson.

The force is stupid in this one

By dam01 - 02/08/2009 07:17 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says, 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my lightsaber'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 588

You deserved it 10 470

By :/ - 20/02/2011 18:44 - Canada

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 061

You deserved it 109 756

By dumping time - 25/11/2012 22:38 - United Kingdom - Aylesford

Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 109

You deserved it 30 875

By dude - 20/01/2009 14:01 - France

Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: "I'm keeping them just in case..." - "In case of what?" - "In case I want to dress up like an asshole". FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 543

You deserved it 28 984

Sexy time

By Anonymous - 30/07/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 518

You deserved it 59 468

By Pretty_Pisces - 06/04/2016 19:16 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I met my downstairs neighbor after she repeatedly banged on my floor as a way to quiet me down. I guess I'm not allowed to walk on my floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 835

You deserved it 1 343

Pretty_Pisces tells us more.

Pretty_Pisces 11

Thursday 7 April 2016 14:29

Hey guys this is my FML! Anyway my neighbor downstairs has been trouble since I moved in. My 1 year old can't play with his toys and I can't so much as breathe without her acting passive aggressively toward me. I guess I should give her the benefit of the doubt because the unit above hers was empty for so long? But I met her at the mailbox the other day and told her as much as I tried to be quiet, I'm not dead. I will make a little noise since we live in an older complex. She hasn't really bothered me since then. Thanks for reading!