The Top

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Be warned

By JCC - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 621

You deserved it 13 123

Smartass

By dumbass for a flatmate - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney

Today, my roommate told me that she wants to get some of those "My Family" stickers for her car. She's single and has no children. What does she want to get? One for her, and one for her goldfish. Sadly, this is probably one of the most intelligent things she's said all week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 427

You deserved it 3 800

The more you know

By My mouth tastes like blood - 14/12/2025 22:00

Today, I was able to get dental care for the first time in 4 years. I had been going through all the hygiene motions, but without professional input all that time, no one was there to warn me about the sour candies I had been eating, and how they ruined your teeth anyway. My teeth are well beyond salvageable now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22

You deserved it 36

Movie night

By Boo! - 14/12/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to sneak a burrito into a movie theater by hiding it in my jacket. Halfway through the trailers, the foil popped loudly, and the burrito slid out and rolled down the sloped aisle like a tiny log. The theater lights were still on, people turned to watch, so I pretended it wasn’t mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 340

Obviously

By Anonymous - 14/12/2025 09:00

Today, I confidently told a coworker that the “surprise meeting” was obviously a birthday celebration for our boss. I even brought cupcakes. Turns out, it was a serious budget discussion. My boss stared at the cupcakes like I was making fun of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 224

Isn't she lovely?

By Anonymous - 14/12/2025 12:00

Today, my wife shouted at me for never doing anything for her, which is a brave claim to make while her unemployed ass sits in the house I pay for, enjoying the Netflix I pay for, and the car I pay for so she can drive to Starbucks and use my money to buy £8 coffees for six friends at once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 65

On the twelfth day of Xmas, my true love sent to me…

By Yudith - 14/12/2025 15:00

Today, it's the twelfth day since I ordered the fittings (which are not sold in hardware stores) needed for one of our tenants' leaking kitchen sink. I received two emails; one that says the package will arrive today, and one that says never mind, the package will arrive in seven weeks. For the tenant, FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 39

I can't breathe

By Anonymous - 14/12/2025 20:00

Today, my parents promised to drive me to my grandma's house instead of me taking the bus.I was so excited that I could finally have a week away from my suffocating parents but my dad cancelled tonight, so I'm stuck and secretly crying because if they'd have let me take the bus, I'd be at my grandma's, AWAY FROM THEM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 17

One-wat street

By Anonymous - 15/12/2025 00:00

Today, after my at-the-time partner got in a car wreck with minimal injuries, I drove two hours and got a week off classes to take care of them on hand and foot, they are currently my platonic roommate and I nearly broke my foot… and they keep acting annoyed when I ask for something because I can't walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 10

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I applied to a new gym. Now I have a hernia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 923

You deserved it 4 782

Today, I went to my first ever high school party with music, drinks, and dancing. Within a few minutes of taking my first ever shot of tequila, I was in the worst pain in my life. My parents were called and I had to be taken to the hospital. I'm alcohol intolerant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 065

You deserved it 13 992

Today, I nailed a job interview and they hired me on the spot. The only problem was I was bursting at the seams and had to poop really bad. After destroying their bathroom and taking my leave, not an hour later I got a phone call saying they're "gonna go a different direction." FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 248

Today, at my sister's wedding, I went to the very back of the crowd of women waiting to catch the bouquet. Not only did I end up catching it, I was accosted by a crazy chick who ripped it out of my hands, screaming at me in Italian. I later found out she was already engaged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 479

You deserved it 3 865

Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 373

You deserved it 3 064

Today, I treated my out of town family to a surprise opera experience as a belated Christmas present. When we arrived, there were people already in our seats. Upon checking the tickets, I realized that I had purchased them for the following Friday instead of today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 116

You deserved it 2 084