FML : Animals, Your everyday life stories

By Anonymous - / Sunday 30 December 2019 06:00 / Australia - Carlton

Today... I bought a new car. Twenty-five minutes into driving it home, I hit a deer. FML

By Karaline45 - / Saturday 15 December 2018 05:00 /

Today I had to move down to the 3rd floor because after complaining about rats on my rooftop the landlord put down traps. Rats died. Flies came. The flies laid eggs. The eggs birthed maggots. The maggots rained down from my broken ceiling into my bed and all over my floor. I am not okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Warriorwizzle - / Saturday 15 December 2018 04:00 / Vietnam - Hanoi

Today, my dog of 10 years died suddenly. My husband’s response? “At least you don’t have to buy dog food anymore". FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By miss_peppermint - / Friday 14 December 2018 13:30 /

Today, not only did my horse step on my foot & refuse to move, he also took the opportunity to crap on my other foot while I was incapable of moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By livinproof - / Monday 10 December 2018 13:30 /

Today, I was out riding and a seagull pissed on me. It got in my mouth. FML

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You deserved it

By yuck - / Sunday 9 December 2018 03:30 / Australia - Melbourne

Today, we’ve had a rat problem in our house for a few weeks. Recently I hid a bottle of booze in my room so my parents wouldn’t see it. But my parents saw a rat in my room and tore the whole thing apart to find it, eventually finding my bottle instead. I was literally ratted out by a rat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By I’m screwed - / Saturday 8 December 2018 15:30 /

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML

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You deserved it

By - / Friday 7 December 2018 07:30 / United States - Rockville Centre

Today, my 1 month old kitten peed all over my kitchen floor. I wanted to get some water out of one of drawers and slipped on the piss. My phone shattered and i dislocated my arm. FML

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You deserved it

By Felix - / Wednesday 5 December 2018 14:30 / Ireland

Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML

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You deserved it

By Dead Inside - / Monday 3 December 2018 07:30 / United States - Elkhart

Today, I finally got up the nerve to leave my boyfriend. We have no spark and quite honestly, it's been really awkward. I planned to tell him when he came in, and I did. After all was said and done, he handed me the roses and new puppy he had bought for me, a puppy that I had been saving up to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Eivana - / Friday 30 November 2018 12:00 /

Today, it's my wife's birthday. Since I had work, I gave her $200 to spend on herself and left. When I came back with dinner and the movie she wanted, I found her with a dog. She is very attached to him because the shelter was going to put him down. I love him, but I'm allergic to dogs. FML

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You deserved it

By *sneeze* - / Thursday 29 November 2018 12:00 /

Today, I realized after I wrapped myself in a blanket that it was my cat's "humping blanket". FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

Alaina Heuerman Say more :

Alright I didn’t really wanna follow up but I need to clarify. HE IS NEUTERED he has been since we got him. Also that was my blanket but it very recently became humping blanket 2. Let’s just say he really likes soft fluffy blankets. So all of mine... (yes that’s him in my profile pic btw)

By Cat’s dildo - / Thursday 29 November 2018 02:53 /