Embarrassing

Monolith

By AshWil - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Washington

Today, I accidentally posted an extensive, negative review of the gynecologist I visited earlier this week. I messed up and posted it from my work's customer service email, so now it looks like the large, well-known company I work for had a poor gynecological experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 898

You deserved it 23 228

Living my best life

By Anonymous - 22/08/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I sent my crush what I thought was a cute selfie. Two minutes later, she replied, “Nice waffle.” I checked the chat and realized I had sent her a photo of my burnt breakfast instead. She then asked if the black part was chocolate. It definitely wasn't. I have not opened that chat since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 142

Naughty boy

By baddog - 22/08/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my dog started barking during a work video call. I picked him up to prove he was harmless. He immediately sneezed directly into my face, then licked my mouth. My microphone was still on, and everyone heard me yell, “WHY?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 83

All shook up

By Mike - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was, "I farted." Well, at least they all laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 296

You deserved it 8 782

It is though

By Timv86 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yelled at the top of her voice, "Stop following me, you freak." I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 329

You deserved it 3 149

It's the new fashion statement

By Anonymous - 17/08/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I was late for work and grabbed what I thought was my black coat from the hallway. Halfway to the bus stop, I noticed it was my roommate's dark bathrobe. I still wore it because going back would've made me even later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 287

Great idea for a prank

By Lordy - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Saudi Arabia

Today, I went to work to find a picture on my desk of me with my buttcrack showing put there by an anonymous person. FM

I agree, your life sucks 13 868

You deserved it 2 567

The squits

By Nina - 17/08/2026 12:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, it’s my first full official day with my adoptive dad. To celebrate, he took me out to a fancy restaurant for lunch. Lunch was great. The ride home less so. Let’s just say spicy lunch plus upset stomach equals diarrhea, which makes for a smelly NOT fun ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 86

Slightly intoxicated

By Clare99 - 17/08/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, drunk, I tried to sneak quietly into my flat at 2 a.m. so I wouldn't wake anyone up. I stepped on the one squeaky floorboard, dropped my keys, kicked my left shoe into a door, and somehow knocked a framed picture off the wall. My flatmate texted me from her bed, “You OK out there?” FM

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 335

Arm day

By Anonymous - 16/08/2026 09:00 - India - Hyderabad

Today, I went out on a second date with this girl, who touched my bicep when I told her I haven't been to the gym since a long time. She asked me to flex it, I did, and it remained the same size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 156

Hey you!

By I was very drunk - 14/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, after a boozy lunch, I drunkenly waved at what I thought was my reflection in a shop window. The person inside waved back. I laughed and kept walking. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd spent the entire interaction waving at someone standing in a café. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 343

Discreet

By Anonymous - 14/08/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, I tried to discreetly remove a tiny piece of spinach from my teeth during a meeting. I was looking into my phone camera when I realized I wasn't on the front camera. I had been staring at the meeting in progress through the rear camera for thirty seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 296

Great, just great

By never_ending_hangover - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend out to meet my coworkers for the first time. I really wanted to impress them, and get them to think how cool we are to hang out with, since I am new to LA. Instead, my boyfriend threw up in my boss's sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 356

You deserved it 4 909

Heavy load

By Anonymous - 13/08/2026 15:00 - United States - Boise

Today, my cat knocked the TV remote behind our heavy couch. I reached for it, got stuck halfway underneath, and had to call my roommate for help. She found me face-down on the carpet wearing one sock and asked if this was “an emergency or drugs?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 109

DAD! NO!

By Fresca11 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend. We'd just got our food when my dad walks in, comes up to our table and says, "I didn't say you could leave, you're too young to be dating him", then drags me out of the restaurant. We are both 15, and it was my first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 868

You deserved it 14 218

Peanut allergies

By Anonymous - 13/08/2026 03:00 - Zimbabwe - Harare

Today, I bought a pack of peanuts to share with my partner and his 16 ear-old daughter, whom I'd just been introduced to. I asked him if I could eat his peanuts as well, since he wasn't eating them and, because my greedy mouth was stuffed with my own peanuts, it came out as, "Can I eat your penis?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 385

Run run run

By Anonymous - 11/08/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, during my daily jog, a gate in my local park, which has been stuck open by weeds and overgrown grass for at least 6 years, was apparently weeded and properly closed yesterday. I hit that thing at full speed, flipped over it, and landed on my head with total strangers laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 348

Paper thin

By Anonymous - 10/08/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home with stomach pain and immediately did a 10 second long farting, splattering, spluttering shit into the toilet. Now I know the walls are thin in my flat, but I wasn’t expecting the hot guy next door to say to me through the wall, “Jesus, are you alright in there?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 101

The Doors

By Invisible - 09/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I walked into an automatic glass door at a mall when it failed to open. A woman asked if I was OK, so I said, "I'm fine, the door must be busted." The automatic door then opened immediately after, proving it worked just fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 82

Threat level: Baked

By Anonymous - 09/08/2026 03:00 - Australia

Today, I opened a bag of flour a little too enthusiastically and it blew up. The resulting cloud of flour set off my smoke alarm. My neighbors then came knocking, wondering if the building was on fire, while I stood there looking like I'd been pranked by a baker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 118

New fangled technology

By Anonymous - 08/08/2026 22:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months and tried to act like I belonged there. I used the wrong machine, adjusted something I shouldn’t have, and had to ask a teenager how to reset it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 283

Rotten

By Tooth hurty - 08/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist, telling him proudly that I had flossed for two straight weeks. The dentist told me that flossing wouldn't undo “Whatever happened back there.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 134

Get the hell out of there

By Anonymous - 06/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Allentown

Today, at my godmother's funeral, I got a panic attack causing explosive diarrhea. After the service, I ran to the bathroom and absolutely nuked it. I heard everyone outside calling for me so I quickly flushed the toilet and it struggled. So I flushed again. I left that bathroom with two inches of water on the floor and rising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 108

Loose fit

By Anonymous - 06/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Sanford

Today, I got new thongs that were too big, but wore them anyway. It was fine until they got caught on a door handle when I held the door open with my back. The whole conference room saw the door basically give me a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 349

Sexy talk

By Cora - 06/08/2026 09:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I got in bed with my guy to have sex with him to distract myself from having diarrhea, when my gut cramped, my butt pushed, and I then doubled over from that as I yelled, "Why must I go doo-day right now?" I don't know what's more embarrassing, that I shit my bed before sex, or I called diarrhea "going doo-dah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 368

Room service

By Anonymous - 05/08/2026 03:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I spent at least 10 minutes trying to get into my hotel room because my key card wouldn't work. I finally went to the front desk, where they came along with me, then politely informed me I was trying to open the room next door to mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 377

Bathroom Ninja

By skittish - 04/08/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I tried to quietly leave a public toilet at work without anyone noticing how long I'd been in there. The automatic hand dryer turned on as I walked past, making me jump so hard, I walked straight into the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 323

Here's your reward

By Anonymous - 04/08/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I finally had enough reward points for a free coffee. As the barista handed it to me, the lid popped off and the entire drink landed on the floor before I even took one sip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 79

Love U 2

By Kellie99 - 03/08/2026 22:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, for some unknown reason, I called my boss "Mum" at the end of a meeting. She paused, smiled, and said, "Aww, love you too, kiddo." The rest of the team in the room lost it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 186

Showtime

By dumbass - 03/08/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I spent 5 minutes trying to get into my car because the key fob wouldn't work. It wasn't my car. Same model, same colour, same parking spot, just wrong floor. The actual owner was watching me struggle from the Aldi trolley station the whole time, clearly amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 272

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 819

You deserved it 7 680

Today, my dad made me quit my online school classes and go back to public school, because apparently when I'm on the computer, it makes his video games lag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 167

You deserved it 5 897

Today, I got a concussion while teaching a kid how to be a safe and cautious swimmer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 108

You deserved it 5 147

Today, it's raining at my work. Not outside, inside, because our building's boiler broke and all the pipes are dripping with condensation. I have to sit at my desk under an umbrella to protect my laptop and desk phone. The HVAC company said, "Don't worry, this is normal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 325

You deserved it 2 174

Today, I'm a 5ft2 guy and I was at the seamstress's getting some dressy pants shortened for a wedding this week. She got it to the right length, then told me, "Don't worry, you're still growing." My dad started laughing, and she stared at me as I told her that I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 130

Today, one of my super obnoxious coworkers tried to snitch on me and record me for “being lazy” on the clock. I was sitting in my car, while eating trail mix ON MY BREAK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 118