Embarrassing

Box fresh

By Anonymous - 07/07/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I was giving a lecture when I noticed everyone smiling at me. I thought my jokes were finally landing until a coworker pointed out that the price tag from my brand-new shirt was hanging out of the back of my collar the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 148

Party time!

By revalc - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I'm having my housewarming party and had prepared food, drink, and games for all the 19 confirmed guests on Facebook. I waited till 11, but nobody showed up. I checked Facebook again and realized I had accidentally put tomorrow as the party date. I have to work the whole day tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 681

You deserved it 52 151

Lost in music

By Anonymous - 05/07/2026 12:00 - France - Lille

Today, I wore noise-canceling headphones while cleaning my apartment. Apparently I'd been singing at the top of my lungs for nearly an hour, because my neighbor knocked on my door just to ask if everything was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 316

News to me

By Paul - 05/07/2026 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I finally mustered up the courage to ask someone out. She smiled, hugged me, and said, "That's so sweet. I'll have to ask my fiancé if he's OK with it." That was how I found out she was engaged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 104

Such an honor

By Anonymous - 05/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I was selected to throw the ceremonial first pitch at a baseball game. I practiced every evening for two weeks. In front of hundreds of people, I got so nervous that I let go of the ball behind me instead of towards homeplate. The mascot had to retrieve it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 123

Dick move

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital because he thought it would be funny to Superglue googly eyes to his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 402

You deserved it 375

Brake check

By Suzie - 03/07/2026 15:00 - Australia

Today, I was taking my driving test and everything was going perfectly. As I pulled back into the testing center, I smiled because I knew I'd passed. Then I got out of the car without pulling the handbrake. The examiner had to jump back in and hit the brakes before it rolled into an actual parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 409

Blood drive

By Queasy Dave - 03/07/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I tried donating blood for the first time because my company was hosting a blood drive. Right after telling everyone I wasn't afraid of needles, I fainted before they could even use one. I woke up surrounded by phlebotomists offering me juice while my coworkers whooped like I'd just scored a goal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 250

Your funny uncle

By Anonymous - 03/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I joined the wrong funeral procession, because I thought everyone gathering outside was there for my uncle, so I followed them into the chapel and even hugged two strangers. I didn't realize my mistake until someone started talking about a man I'd never heard of. I had to quietly sneak out in the middle of the service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 167

Happy health warning!

By Anonymous - 02/07/2026 15:00 - United States - Gary

Today, I stayed up until 2 a.m. building my daughter's birthday present because I wanted everything to be perfect when she woke up. She opened the little oven door on the toy kitchen, and the whole thing collapsed onto the floor. I found an unopened bag of screws sitting on the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 445

Mixed signals

By Anonymous - 02/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I worked up the courage to ask someone out after months of debating it. She smiled, said yes, and asked what time. I got so nervous that I gave her the time I start work instead of our reservation. We both showed up to completely different places and spent twenty minutes wondering why the other had ghosted us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 233

You deserved it 297

Classic

By Anonymous - 01/07/2026 12:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I walked a good 5 minutes across campus, through a few large hallways and up some stairs, with about foot of toilet paper hanging out of my pants before somebody pointed it out to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 110

Very brave

By Americas got no talent - 29/06/2026 12:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I gathered the courage to sing karaoke after saying no for years. The lyrics screen froze halfway through the song, and everyone expected me to keep going from memory since I picked it. It turns out I only knew the chorus. I hummed for an entire verse as bemused strangers politely clapped along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 88

Congrats!

By Anonymous - 29/06/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I was selected to give a short speech at a friend's wedding after being told it would only be "a couple of minutes." I walked up drunkenly, reached into my pocket for my notes, and pulled out my shopping list instead. I started reading "milk, onions, toothpaste…" before realising everyone was laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 457

Stolen valor

By running girl - 29/06/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I was signed up for a local 10K run after months of saying I'd "get back into running." Everything went well until I crossed the finish line and proudly accepted a medal… that belonged to someone standing behind me. She had to tap on my shoulder and ask for it back while other runners and volunteers smirked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 144

Brain freeze

By Candidatedayy - 28/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I finally got an interview with my dream company. Everything went perfectly until the interviewer asked if I had any questions. I tried to say, "What do you enjoy most about working here?" Instead, I somehow asked, "Why do you still work here?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 99

Power move

By Anonymous - 27/06/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom - City of London

Today, I held the door with my back to greet everyone into a meeting. When I followed the last person in, my waistband managed to get looped on the door handle and shut behind me as I walked away, taking my body with it. I was leading the meeting, as the branch manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 72

Noise annoys

By Stacey02 - 23/06/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, a quiet afternoon at the library turned stressful when my phone started blasting music. Every attempt to silence it somehow increased the volume. After seconds of panic, I realised the sound wasn't coming from my phone. It was a kid's toy buried somewhere in my backpack after a visit from my niece. The reading room people still glared at me like I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 94

Dress to impress

By Olive - 22/06/2026 22:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, it's my 23rd birthday. My family - parents, siblings, and two cousins - asked to visit to help me celebrate. I agreed and spent some time cleaning my place up some. The catch: I relaxed a bit and did it while nude. It felt so nice, I forgot I was nude, so when they came at noon… well, it wasn't the birthday suit I'd hoped they'd see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 487

For the full marathon, it's a cantaloupe

By Lisa - 22/06/2026 12:00 - Canada

Today, after months of training, I ran my first half marathon. Everything was going according to plan until I crossed the finish line and raised my arms for the official photo. At that exact second, a volunteer handed me a banana, which smacked directly into my face. The event photographer captured every frame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 67

Stay classy

By chattyloz - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 957

You deserved it 40 210

Hey good lookin'

By brenami - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 154

You deserved it 7 866

Make a scene

By Doug - 21/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I was at a wedding. The ceremony was beautiful, right up until the ring bearer tripped. The rings were fine. However, the emergency chocolate bar I'd hidden in my suit pocket for later flew out and landed in front of the bride and groom. Some wedding photos now feature a chocolate bar in the center aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 281

Heatwave

By PeepShow - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 486

You deserved it 47 356

That's the spirit

By Mom of the day - 20/06/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I'd promised my daughter I’d make her costume for School Spirit Day, so I'd stayed up late hot-gluing fabric, only to now notice that I’d attached the sleeves upside down. She wore it anyway because there was no time to fix it, and I spent the day hoping no other parent would ask where I got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 102

Puberty sucks

By Anonymous - 19/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Denver

Today, and for the past week, I practiced my speech for the school debate team. Right as I started, my 14 year-old voice cracked so hard that the first sentence came out sounding like a startled goat. The judge tried not to laugh, but I spent the rest of the round fighting octave changes in my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 53

Date night

By Clumsy bitch - 19/06/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I went on a date at a museum, I thought it would be low-pressure. It was going well until I leaned in to read a plaque, tripped, and nearly took down a rope barrier. My date caught me by the arm, asked if I was OK, then spent the next 10 minutes pretending not to notice I'd knocked over a gift shop display with my backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 280

Hush!

By Mommy issue - 19/06/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I took my toddler to a library story hour. He sat quietly for almost ten minutes, which should have been my first warning. Right as the librarian began reading a dramatic part, my son pointed at her and shouted, “That lady is very old.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 102

Just swallow it

By Crazy kid - 18/06/2026 15:00 - United States - Yuba City

Today, I was in class when I coughed up so much snot inside my mouth. It was so gross, I couldn’t talk. I raised my hand to go over to the sink to spit it out but I couldn’t talk and he didn’t understand, so I just got up and walked over. A few kids in the back saw me do it and said, "Ewwww." Everyone stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 110

It's rigged I tell ya!

By Lance O - 18/06/2026 09:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, as the new school year starts, we had the traditional class council election, where I bravely nominated myself for class president. As our new teacher tallied the votes on the board, I corrected her with a minor detail: "Ma'am, its Lance A. not Lance O." She responded, "What Lance O? That's your score! Zero!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 161

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The Top

Today, I got married. The officiant of the ceremony referred to me as Amanda through my ceremony. My name is Anna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 427

You deserved it 4 285

Today, I saw a man dancing to a Britney Spears song in his Volkswagen Beetle. I started laughing hysterically until he got out. He was huge. I was stuck in traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 682

You deserved it 36 046

Today, it's my 18th birthday. Last month was my best friend's 18th birthday. She spent the night with me, and the next morning, my mom and brother gathered in my room and sang "Happy Birthday" as they handed her pancakes with a candle on top. Today, I was woken up by screams to take the trash out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 677

You deserved it 2 631

Today, my dad is infuriating by increasingly asking me to do things around the house, but because he doesn’t like how I do them he yells at me and then does it himself. It’s almost like he cares more about inventing excuses to yell at me than he does to actually get things done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 166

Today, it's my birthday. My grandmother died yesterday. We were close and she basically raised me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 46

Today, I'm stuck in a bad relationship with a man who won't work to get ahead in life, and whose family looks down on me for being a different race. If I dump him, I'll have to live with my racist dad, who will smuckle endlessly about how I "learned a lesson for dating outside your race." FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 263