Nearly FMLs

By Kthatsucks - 09/02/2016 07:47 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, After finally opening my heart to a guy I met over the holiday seasons, He casually informed me that he will be flying overseas in a week to propose to his ex girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 09/02/2016 07:34 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, my parents caught me watching porn and masturbating. Wouldn't have been as bad if I weren't a naked girl doing that while my family and many relatives came to say Happy Birthday at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By Mymm - 09/02/2016 07:06 - Australia - Koroit

Today, I was down the street with my husband and saw some disabled people. He started imitating them, so I smacked him and told him to stop, only for an old lady to come up and start hitting me with her umbrella. He kept up the charade and acted disabled while yellin "don't let her hit m!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By PuckYouToTheFace - 09/02/2016 07:05 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend becomes a flamboyant gay man when he gets drunk. Yes, complete with comments on home decor and what people are wearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ScaredShitless - 09/02/2016 07:03 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I was home alone vacuuming the living room after renovations. All of a sudden, there was a huge crash and the house shook. A tree trimming truck up the road had lost its brakes and crashed into the side of our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By sucks to be meee - 09/02/2016 06:42 - United States

Today, I woke up to a broken-into home and a note on my fridge which read "good thing your shit is actually shit." I have such crappy stuff that not even burglers will take it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 09/02/2016 06:41 - United States - Chandler

Today, six hours after I laid down to try and kick insomnias ass, I finally felt myself drifting to sleep. Moments before slipping into snoring bliss, my neighbor decided it would be great to click on his floodlights and wake up the dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By daga21 - 09/02/2016 06:21 - United States

Today, my father decided to cancel his phone line and transfer to another carrier since he and I are under the same bill. Well, guess who no longer has a phone? Me. The fucker cancelled my line accidentally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By blueyes909 - 09/02/2016 06:20 - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, I realized I've always wanted to be a nurse, despite my phobia of blood and needles. Determined to overcome this, I went to donate blood. When the time came I started crying and yelling "NO NEVERMIND" repeatedly. RIP hopes and dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By freyday - 09/02/2016 06:18 - United States - Post Falls

Today, I came home to my boyfriend naked in our bed. This would have been nice, if his first cousin wasn't laying there with him. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Giggidypope - 09/02/2016 06:13 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I took my neighbors dog for a walk. As I passed the church, I began talking to one of the elderly women there. The dog cocked his leg and pissed all over her shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By chairmanmeow1 - 09/02/2016 06:10 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out that in the Australian summer, the surface of a road has a liquid state... Too bad I found out with my bare feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 09/02/2016 06:01 - United States - Binghamton

Today, my wife pointed to a fifty-cent piece sized black thing on our kitchen table and screamed that it was a spider and began panicking. I smiled and picked it up to prove it was just a bit of fur from our cat. She was right. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By californiagirl8 - 09/02/2016 05:37 - United States - Lakeside

Today after weeks of waking up to "Good Morning beautiful" texts and a couple hours of alone time, the guy I thought I was on my way to having a relationship with hit me with the "I just want to be single and make mistakes right now" text. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 09/02/2016 05:36 - United States - Powell

Today, I was fired from my job because I wore my hat backwards inside the restaurant. I was picking up a carry out order for my family. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Pissed - 09/02/2016 05:24 - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, I have the flu. I also have stress incontinence. Every time I sneeze, I piss myself. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By blueRocks - 09/02/2016 05:23 - United States - San Francisco

Today, where I work. A resident went into a room & proceeded to poop on the rug & all over every piece of linen. He then took his socks off & dug his toes into it. It took me 30+ mins to clean it off of him, from between his toes & replace all the linens. He wasn't even my resident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By can't even rn - 09/02/2016 05:12 - United States - San Diego

Today, I have bad acne. My parents are ashamed of it, and threatened to not take me on vacation if I don't clear t up by this summer. Like, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By breakerone92 - 09/02/2016 05:04 - United States - Grand Blanc

Today, My mom thought it would be great to tell me her new medicine makes her bleed out her ass, not only was I eating she kept going further into detail knowing full well that i was trying to eat, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Filo - 09/02/2016 05:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, while commuting waiting for the bus, I caught a glimpse of an old man scratching deep into his arse with his pans down to the knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By heyheyitshailey - 09/02/2016 04:59 - United States

Today, and for the last three days my iPhone has autocorrected "Hey" to "Heil Hitler". It took me more than one sent message and astonished reply to realize what was happening. I don't know who changed it and I don't know how to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By AuctionFail - 09/02/2016 04:58 - United States - El Paso

Today, I bought this girl, that I really like, at the date auction my school hosted. Not 10 minutes later did I find out that she was called in to work on the same day of the Valentine's dance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By db - 09/02/2016 04:53 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, I did anal for the first time and when I pulled out a little turd landed on my sheets and I didn't realize. I woke up the next morning and that little turd was in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By shit - 09/02/2016 04:49 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I was letting my dogs outside, and decided to go through my dad's phone, since he goes through mine. Turns out he is "looking for a partner". He's married, and I have no idea how to confront him.FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Well Shit - 09/02/2016 04:47 - United States - Royersford

Today, I ate fast food for the first time in years. My body responded by voiding my bowels for an hour straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 09/02/2016 04:39

Today, I drove over six hours to see my girlfriend at college after my first week of work. She was piss drunk and too anxious to even be near me, and wanted to break up. So much for the romantic weekend I had planned to relieve the stresses of long-distance. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 09/02/2016 04:23 - Canada

Today, I went to go and have sex with my girlfriend and at first I thought she was a girl, until I realized she had a dick... We have been together for 7 months and we finally started to think about intimacy... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Life is Confusing - 09/02/2016 04:08 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my wife tried to persuade me on why the world would've been a better place if Hitler won World War II. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Squirrely - 09/02/2016 04:01 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, while home sick, I was awoken to high pitched squealing and banging coming from my bathroom. Apparently a squirrel thought my bathroom vent was a great place to have her babies. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By dingle2dingus - 09/02/2016 03:58 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was in the elevator with some coworkers. I was looking at random vines when all of a sudden this loud, ear splitting moaning starts coming from one of the videos. I was so embarrassed that I dropped my phone and broke the screen. Everyone thought I was watching porn. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 821

You deserved it 3 101

Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 771

You deserved it 3 954

Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 954

You deserved it 6 644

Today, my country went on strike and is overthrowing the government, and I'm stuck on a night shift at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 152

Today, my mother brought home dinner for four people. I was not one of those people. The dog, however, was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 808

You deserved it 177

Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 643

You deserved it 40 774