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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 May 1941 (75 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16355
  • Number of comments : 400
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About stevenJB : 9/28/2016
Hey, you're my latest stalker. feel free to message me here or on kik "Lockolaine". otherwise here's the run down of me.

-I (used to) play guitar and bass, will start in again soon.
-enlisting in the Marines(leave for BC in feb)
-5´11 or 510 depending on who measures me
-gamer, mostly Wow, WoT, overwatch, starcraft 2 and fallout lately.
-listens to rock, metal mostly, a little bit of country, punk, some pop I just hear on the radio, symphony and some jazz as well.
-native American and used to have hair over a meter long.
-enjoy watching movies/anime
-can sing, but not amazingly
-heavy machinery operator/mechanic
-lives in South Dakota
-love dogs, though I don't have one myself :(
-enjoys firearms and long range shooting
-Love reading books, more into fantasy genre.
-I'll do a fuck for a fuck so feel free.
-my fml profile is around or close to 5 years old.
-enjoy running and working out.

--if you got any questions feel free to ask--

stevenJB's page activity

Visits<b>lunalane</b> - 2 hours ago<b>URBeingLied2</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Melodyrain</b> - 18 hours ago<b>Marissa20358</b> - yesterday at 12:16pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - yesterday at 9:42pm<b>ItWentSwimmingly</b> - yesterday at 9:21pm<b>CamBen</b> - the 10/21/2016 at 4:43pm<b>French_giirl</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 12:00pm<b>bellles</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 11:21am<b>mrlucky22</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 9:15am<b>HelloKiittyy</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 1:47am<b>killmenowugh</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 11:20pm<b>BryantStone</b> - the 10/13/2016 at 10:40pm<b>jessebelle0714</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 9:34pm<b>CaitOlivia94</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 10:17pm<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 7:49pm<b>a_sales</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 2:46pm<b>Earths_Venus</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 6:38am

Fucked!<b>URBeingLied2</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Marissa20358</b> - yesterday at 6:18pm<b>CamBen</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 11:58pm<b>Cow_Girl_Lilly</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 1:24pm<b>lunalane</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 5:09am<b>dudeutookhrs</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 3:58am<b>r1has</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 10:57am<b>TwistedWires</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 7:04am<b>BeautifulLiesx</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 3:26am<b>BlueAlpaca</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 3:02am<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 4:19pm<b>coyotefox</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 2:05am<b>DBpiano</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 11:44pm<b>mercedesm</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 9:15pm<b>honeyleee</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 5:47pm<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 10:47am<b>BrazyNut</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 10:22am<b>watermelon15</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 7:30am

stevenJB's FML badges


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Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of stevenJB's badges

stevenJB's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed my husband swat a coffee bean over and over again, all the while mistaking it for a fly. I then figured he probably has a lower IQ than I do, which wouldn't be so bad if mine wasn't a few points away from minor retardation. FML

by sheilob / 03/24/2012 at 7:06pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

by mrricecakes / 03/23/2012 at 1:55am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML

by Anon / 03/22/2012 at 7:32pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I was stabbed in the chest. Not with a knife though, the under-wire from my bra escaped and stabbed me in the boob. FML

by J.O.S / 03/21/2012 at 5:06pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

by brooke / 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 12:50am / Canada / Health

Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML

by Rapunzel / 03/18/2012 at 4:02pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML

by noneedtostress / 03/17/2012 at 11:52am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML

by Bebefer / 03/15/2012 at 3:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

by CallaC / 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

by PUA / 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

by zztopspinner / 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML

by S. Michaels / 03/14/2012 at 11:17am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2012 at 2:15am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous