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monocle

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monocle

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 133
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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monocle's page activity

Visits<b>skychu</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 12:29am<b>cohnsonj</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 3:24am<b>Mc2013</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 10:02am<b>diesel_power</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 5:29pm<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 3:56pm<b>flufee2</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 1:45pm

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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monocle's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML

#21351571
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42836) - you deserved it (2733)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52668) - you deserved it (10535)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38752) - you deserved it (7179)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML

#21232320
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33616) - you deserved it (11266)

On 08/08/2014 at 3:40am - love - by alisaav (woman) - Thailand

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML

#21231691
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26396) - you deserved it (38081)

On 08/07/2014 at 11:36am - health - by Dancing King (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49249) - you deserved it (21276)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

#21219507
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39255) - you deserved it (16301)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41642) - you deserved it (21422)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50527) - you deserved it (6797)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML

#21179613
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24948) - you deserved it (50530)

On 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm - misc - by shtidsfpa (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

#21166299
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48160) - you deserved it (4887)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, out of habit from twelve years of karate classes, I bowed to my teacher as I exited my classroom. My chemistry classroom. FML

#21156297
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40709) - you deserved it (6536)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm - work - by mathesonn - United States (New York)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47572) - you deserved it (7230)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my girlfriend and I got into an argument while she was in the bathroom. I told her I was leaving her because she's too needy. She came out of the bathroom and threw her used tampon at me. FML

#21151109
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46108) - you deserved it (32813)

On 05/25/2014 at 11:50am - love - by HomicidalPegasus (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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