Malika

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Malika

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 April 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3276
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Malika's page activity

Visits<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 4:22am<b>ExtremeEncounter</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 8:00am<b>DankNissan</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 7:09pm<b>rinzlerkitty94</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 10:45pm<b>madi10647</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 1:46am<b>mttr36</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 5:10pm<b>Abskb1</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 1:48pm<b>coolmike699</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 8:08pm<b>rich443</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 11:21am<b>bonjourhello</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 9:29am<b>arrouz</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 8:53pm<b>herofaircloth</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 6:55pm<b>alecspangler</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 8:26am<b>luminalunii69</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 8:38am<b>weird_adult</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 3:11am<b>isquisqui</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 6:31pm<b>RobertTheSPOOK</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 12:59pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 2:06am

Fucked!<b>star14394</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:36am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 10:15am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 3:55am<b>Aadavis94</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 4:36pm<b>smathers1991</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 10:49pm<b>chucksfriday</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 2:19am

Malika's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Malika's favorite FMLs

Today, I received two letters, one from my mom, other from my dad, about how much they missed me with me not being around them. I called my mom, feeling sad. She didn't sound sad at all. She asked me which letter was better. My parents were competing each other which letter would be more moving. FML

by ssjin93 / 11/23/2009 at 7:07pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

by jibberish / 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML

by frootloops / 11/21/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

by TheMichaelNixon / 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm / United States (Tennessee) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend bought me a beautiful pair of very expensive diamond earrings, along with a card that read, "To my beautiful brown eyed Princess." My ears aren't pierced, and my eyes are green. FML

by rhythmbandit / 10/09/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I went our school's football game against their rival team. Before the games started, I got my school's logo painted on my face. After nearly 5 hours of watching the game, I went home to wash the paint off my face, only to find the logo had been sunburned onto my face. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2009 at 6:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 12:27am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML

by shushingmoon / 09/18/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (Louisiana) / Money

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2009 at 5:23am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

by tony / 07/24/2009 at 3:04am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

by MitchFail / 07/23/2009 at 2:42am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to clean the belt of my register at work at a grocery store. I noticed two strips of rubber stuck in the corner of the belt, and after pulling on them periodically all morning one finally came loose. It was a foot. I had been pulling at a dead rat trapped in the belt. FML

by cashier / 07/11/2009 at 8:33pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Miscellaneous