Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ebola

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

Ebola

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 29327
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Ebola : I never know what to write.

26 years old

Undergrad in biochem
Masters in biotechnology

I'm a research scientist

Ebola's page activity

Visits<b>perfect_insanity</b> - 4 hours ago<b>annarcheer</b> - yesterday at 10:48am<b>1Personation</b> - yesterday at 5:32am<b>spatula232</b> - yesterday at 12:19am<b>cutycat136</b> - yesterday at 11:40pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 2:43am<b>iAlissa</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 11:23pm<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:11pm<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 2:07pm<b>rareawesomeness</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 12:17am<b>Purplesinger</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 11:36pm<b>herpderpcx</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 9:00pm<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 6:27pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 1:50am<b>BloodyDemon</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 10:04pm<b>vlalam</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 7:12pm<b>xanneuhjj</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 5:11pm<b>Zoldyck</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 5:26pm

Liked!<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 12:11am<b>Purplesinger</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 4:36am<b>TiggyBonkers</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:23pm

Ebola's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Ebola's badges

Ebola's favorite FMLs

Today, the school counselor asked me to leave the grief counseling group for the death of my sister. Apparently, I scare the others. FML

#21309843
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33843) - you deserved it (2358)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:30am - kids - by notmycircus (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that the reason the phone I've had for a year takes such terrible and cloudy pictures is because I never took the plastic coating off the lens. FML

Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2 minutes into it, he called me by the other woman's name. FML

#21309730
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46617) - you deserved it (9160)

On 12/01/2014 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46110) - you deserved it (11908)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

#21309102
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33536) - you deserved it (5795)

On 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by fishtacos (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32888) - you deserved it (4237)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

#21308641
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31171) - you deserved it (18261)

On 11/30/2014 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend went to work instead of going to my father's funeral. He works at home and chooses his own hours. FML

#21308437
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34258) - you deserved it (3050)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by .... - United States (Illinois)

Today, while walking home with my mom, some unoriginal cockshart in a passing car yelled at me: "Fuck her in the pussy!" It was a long, awkward walk home after that. FML

#21308349
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28880) - you deserved it (2492)

On 11/29/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

#21308219
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36631) - you deserved it (5888)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm - intimacy - by blueballed (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

#21308095
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38610) - you deserved it (4683)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while at work, I really had to pee. Since my break was soon, I decided to hold it as another customer came to my till, but I didn't see she had 3 trolleys full of food. It took ages to scan all of it, and when I left for my break, I had an empty bladder and a wet seat. FML

#21307515
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32417) - you deserved it (7086)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:27pm - work - by I'm so wet, baby - United Kingdom

Today, I was locked out of my house. As I was about to knock on the window to ask my girlfriend to let me in, I saw her on the sofa, digging a huge booger out of her nose and eating it. FML

#21307507
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33014) - you deserved it (4294)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

#21307273
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28378) - you deserved it (2774)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by mainlineloser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I watched as my uncle and his girlfriend snuck off to the bathroom together, where they stayed until someone else tried to get in. When they came out, she was wiping her mouth. I need new eyes. FML

#21306928
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36100) - you deserved it (3053)

On 11/27/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by Trainer Calypso - United States (Wisconsin)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: