The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Rural charm

By jlc82 - 17/02/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, the most exciting thing going on in my hometown is a that cow escaped its slaughterhouse transport, only to be put down by our highway patrol. He's got his own Facebook page and everything. Welcome to Ohio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 137

On the ropes

By Nicky - 24/03/2026 15:00

Today, I'm in bed pretending to sleep because I don't want to see my husband. He's manipulative and a jerk to me some times. I just don't want to deal with him anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 174

Thanks Mom and Dad

By Socially awkward guy - 28/12/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, since I've been single my whole life, my parents decided to get me to think about what I would want in a relationship. The ensuing conversation made me realize why I am single: not only do I have a major lack of confidence, but I also just don't know how to talk to people, much less people I'm interested in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 132

Poop chute

By Anonymous - 04/01/2026 03:00

Today, after her shower, my wife bent over naked in front of me so I went to dive in face-first, and she farted in my face for laughs. The thing is I physically saw some pieces of shit fly out and land on my shoe, and this was after her shower when she should have been clean as a whistle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 168

Not the time to get distracted

By Lost Reggie - 29/05/2025 03:00 - United States - Vilonia

Today, after a tearful weekend of burying my best friend, I stopped for gas on my way home. I got distracted by a guy next to me who was acting strange. I unknowingly filled my car with Diesel. It cost over $1000 to tow home, and I can't even get it looked at until Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 310

What's that buzzing?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 05:59 - New Zealand - Invercargill

Today, I thought I was in a relatively soundproof room before I started up my vibrator. It would have been, if the door wasn't wide open behind the curtains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 1 368

It's the thought that counts, right?

By Anonymous - 10/05/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I was once again sent tons of Mother's Day cards in the mail, even though my son died years ago and I've told people that I'm not a mother anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 94

In this economy??

By Anonymous - 23/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my wife and I have been fighting, and she's threatening divorce. Why? Because I don't want to have a second kid. We cannot afford another one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 75

Crybabies

By PooperParty - 05/04/2021 11:00

Today, I had an Easter Egg Hunt in my backyard for my kids. When they collected all the eggs, they opened them and to their dismay there was no candy inside. When I bought them, I thought they already came with candy. It’s been two hours and my kids won’t stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 1 842

Woowoo alert!

By Anonymous - 01/08/2025 09:00 - France - Nantes

Today, as a student in a science preparatory class and a geology enthusiast, I walked into a rare stone shop. A saleswoman was praising the healing properties of a piece of malachite to a customer. Curious, I looked over my shoulder and exclaimed, "Oh! Raw copper ore!" I got banned from the shop. Occupational hazard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 112

Bad romance

By wtf - 26/11/2022 06:00

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me for not closing the door when I pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 1 384

Quite the eyeful

By Wtf is wrong with my body - 30/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I discovered that, while not exactly probable, you can get pimples on your eyes that are only visible when you close said eye. I get them in all sorts of weird and uncomfortable places, but this takes the cake. How is that even possible? FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 72

Screwed

By lukey101 - 29/03/2025 09:00 - Australia

Today, an arm fell off my only glasses. Problem is I can’t fix it, since I can barely see without actually wearing them. Tomorrow, I’ll be getting around with one-armed glasses until I find someone who isn’t half blind and can tighten a tiny screw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 90

Humblebrag

By Anonymous - 05/11/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife is upset because at a party we took part in an X-rated 'Never Have I Ever', which exposed how filthy I was with past girlfriends, and how boring our sex life is. I’d done almost everything, while she, who’s only ever been with me, had only done 5 things off the list of about 40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 353

I ate being proved right

By Anonymous - 06/12/2025 12:00

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years cheated on me with his ''sister-like friend." It's the girl I was always worried about, and half our arguments were about her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 89

Awks

By Anonymous - 21/10/2025 03:00

Today, I told a woman at the gym that I “loved her confidence” because she was wearing the same bright leggings I’d been too nervous to wear. She smiled awkwardly and said, “Thanks, they were my sister’s. She passed away last year.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 116

Gimme a human

By I HATE THESE BOTS - 03/01/2026 22:00

Today, I spent ten minutes annoyingly arguing with a customer service chatbot, demanding to speak to a real human. When a real human finally joined, they opened with, “So... I see you’ve been yelling at my robot.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 118

It's too cold for this shit

By Anonymous - 09/01/2026 09:00

Today, some absolute scumbucket cut the straps of the cover I put over my windscreen, so this morning it was completely iced over. It only delayed me by about 10 minutes but still… what a shitty thing to do to someone first thing in the snowy morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 54

By CatLitterLover - 08/02/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, I dropped my Xanax. It wasn't until after I washed it down with some water that I realized it was still on the floor and I had actually swallowed a pebble of cat litter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 133

Surprise, MFer!

By Anonymous - 04/09/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to use a public restroom. I walked into the first stall and found it occupied… by a raccoon. It hissed at me, and in my panic, I backed into a janitor's cart, knocking over the mop and bucket. I had to leave the bathroom drenched in dirty water while a crowd of people watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 108

Bad sign

By Kate - 17/10/2024 20:00 - Canada - London

Today, my doctor asked if I had any "unusual stress." I laughed and said, "I’ve been crying in the shower, does that count?" He paused, looked at me seriously, and said, "Yes. Yes, it does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 148

Unstable

By Anonymous - 02/05/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I won my custody battle. I wish I could be happy about it, but it strained my current marriage so badly that now I'm going through my second divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 164

You look like you've seen a ghost

By Anonymous - 16/10/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I was being ghosted by the person I’d been talking to online for three months. I was heartbroken, but then I noticed a message notification pop up from him. Excited, I opened it up, only to see, "Sorry, wrong person." FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 108

Kinda weird

By ButWhy - 21/06/2026 03:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my son is incapable of sleeping alone because my husband keeps co-sleeping with him, stating, "He's going to be a kid for only a little while." The same guy who forced me to stop co-sleeping with the same kid because, "Kids need to be independent." The hypocrisy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 79

Home renovation

By Anonymous - 22/11/2024 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning my lazy son’s bedroom when I knocked a full cup out the window, complete with a layer of mould. It landed on the dog, covering him in mouldy, milky coffee. He ran inside, shook it off everywhere, then rolled around to really make sure it was smushed deep into the carpet fibres. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 309

By Edgarillo - 14/02/2013 07:59 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, my hairdresser apologised because he couldn't distinguish the hair from the back of my head from the hair from my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 67

Attitude

By Anonymous - 18/02/2024 00:00 - United States - Port Orchard

Today, I've decided that I am destined to be unhappy. I seem to get too invested in the ones who don't care. Including my current marriage, which is inevitably doomed no matter how much effort I put into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 207

I've gotta lot going on, OK?

By Anonymous - 30/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my house absolutely reeks of skunk after my dog got tagged at 10pm last night and we didn’t realize it until she was already back inside. This is on top of a nasty case of whole body poison ivy my 6 year-old is dealing with, and my wife’s appendix decided to leave the chat last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 87

Bent out of shape

By Anonymous - 28/06/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Clydebank

Today, I went for a massage because my shoulder's been hurting for months but I can't take decent painkillers because they'd react with my anti-depressants. It STILL hurts, but worse, across my upper spine, and I can't tilt my head back. I paid to look like The Hunchback of Notre Dame doing a swan impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 148

Vaguepost

By Anonymous - 01/09/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I've always struggled with communication and such with my family, so I was difficult to take care of, yet I always held myself together, did my chores, and took care of myself. Sometimes I even helped them out, but now they’re kicking me out of the house, and I have nowhere to go, and I don’t know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 153

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The Top

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 98

Today, my fiancé and I attempted to have sex in my childhood bedroom. As we were falling onto the bed, I smacked my head on the wall, which caused a shelf of stuffed toys to fall onto the bed. Not only did it kill the mood, the shelf also hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 910

You deserved it 9 583

Random

Today, I learned how my coworkers differentiate between my coworker and me as we have the same name, when I overheard one of them ask the other, "Which one, ugly Leslie or hot Leslie?" When the answer was "ugly Leslie," he walked straight to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 535

You deserved it 1 882

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 696

You deserved it 37 551

Today, my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years. She's pregnant. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 502

You deserved it 11 778

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 316

You deserved it 10 386

Today, I spent almost my entire English class turned on thinking that the hot girl next to me was playing footsie with me. That is until she stood up and I realized I had been rubbing my foot on her backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 166

You deserved it 46 785

Today, we had a family day at my new job. I used to have a very abusive boss in my previous position, who even slapped one co-worker across the face in the office, prompting me to quit. Guess who turns out to be my new manager's wife… FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 89