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The all-time greatest FMLs

Rough night, huh?

By Anonymous - 12/02/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was drunk and broke my leg. I called 911, only for the cops to turn up and make me try to walk, with them saying that I was faking my injury. They arrested me for being drunk in public and hours later I finally got to an ER. I had to have surgery on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 191

Stone the crows

By Anonymous - 03/05/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum used her spare key to get into my flat and stole almost all my food. She claimed she did it for my health because I’m "getting a bit chubby." I weigh 12 stone while she weighs over 20, plus all my food was in her kitchen, except for the already empty packets in her bin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 90

By FAIL - 08/09/2009 05:29 - United States

Today, I went to the emergency room. Apparently, when your ex-girlfriend hits you in the nuts with a bat, it can do some damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 84

I have no idea what I'm doing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I'm worried my mother might have the early onset of senility. She started making gumbo, only to lose the plot halfway through, and then began throwing in the ingredients for chili. The result was an inedible mess, and she insisted we've had this for years. Then she tasted it, and yelled, "What the hell is this?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 88

How nice

By lukey101 - 21/11/2023 18:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my mother mentioned she thought I was Unit 11, and not the correct Unit 1, in my building. I then remembered my last anonymous Valentine’s Day card was addressed to me, but at Unit 11. So my “Secret Admirer” of many years is actually my mother taking pity on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 123

Dungeons and dragons drama

By Anonymous - 17/05/2023 10:00 - Australia - Taren Point

Today, I found out why DnD is recommended for ages 13 and up. I ran a kids' session supposed to be for ages 12-16, but a few younger ones turned up. It took them an hour and a half to kill 3 zombies, and then they wanted to go on a murder rampage through the town. I'm secretly hoping they don't turn up next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 305

This is wrong on so many levels

By Anonymous - 10/09/2023 18:30

Today, I noticed my new boyfriend barely touches me casually, unless I initiate, and even then he’ll pull away fairly quickly. Apparently his dad told him about "fake rape accusations", even from women you’re dating, so he’s scared to touch me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 175

This ain't gonna end well

By PureFallPain - 23/11/2019 20:00

Today, I'm catfishing a guy on Twitter. I didn't mean to start it, I had an account I used to vent with, and I used a pic with a cute girl. He sent me a DM saying he liked my pic. He wanted to talk on the phone, and we have fallen for each other. He thinks I'm 18. I'm a 39 year-old single mother of 3 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 5 735

Happy new year, huh?

By Anonymous - 02/01/2025 03:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, my husband of 12 years announced that he wants a divorce and that he hadn't liked me in YEARS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 145

Lazy ableism

By F-f-f-fuck you, teacher - 29/10/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I gave a presentation. My teacher deducted points because I "need to learn how to speak more confidently, because you often stumble over your words." I have a stutter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 86

By Doritos - 17/06/2010 08:06 - United States

Today, my room-mate came out of the bathroom, tossed a Playboy on the coffee table, threw away a used condom, dug his hand into my bag of Doritos, and washed his hands. In that order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 37

Shoulda, woulda, coulda

By Anonymous - 12/01/2021 08:02 - United States

Today, I found out about bitcoin around 2012 when it cost $20. I had about $40k of money to invest at the time. That would be about 2,000 BTC. If I'd just bought and held onto it until now, it would be worth $60,000,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 822

Run for the hills

By Anonymous - 29/04/2024 06:00

Today, I’m coming to accept that my wife’s relationship with her phone and her social media is deeper and more intimate than it will ever be with me. I can’t afford to leave her, her sister's a lawyer, she’ll take everything I still love in the divorce. I hate my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 148

Dead man walking

By what did i do to deserve this - 03/03/2024 15:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I crossed the street at a crosswalk and someone in a big pickup truck swerved to try to hit me. This has happened to me multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 119

The ultimate betrayal

By nick - 23/08/2024 20:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I learned of my girlfriend’s affair with her coworker. And by coworker, I mean my long-time friend, who we helped get a job at her work in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 60

By neige - 24/02/2009 00:29 - Sweden

Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only happen in the movies: if you slam the door, all the snow of the roof will fall on your head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 115

Controlling

By Anonymous - 09/04/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, my soon to be ex-husband and ex-mother in law informed me I couldn't go to the funeral of a really good friend we shared. I went anyway, but I can't imagine how the divorce is going to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 103

Tesla was robbed

By Fuck you, Tesla. - 21/09/2021 14:00

Today, my car ran out of battery. I'm writing this from the middle of the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 653

It's all about control

By Anonymous - 19/07/2024 12:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, my parents said they were cutting me off for saving a kitten's life and wanting to keep it. I am 40 years-old and don't get any money from them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 71

Castaway

By Anonymous - 21/10/2023 16:00

Today, I felt so affection-deprived that I gave myself pep talks in order to feel less lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 153

Hashtag Not All Men, but quite a few, eh?

By Anonymous - 30/10/2022 22:00 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I was having some fun with a guy, but I had to fake orgasm twice just so he would get out of me it was that shit. Third guy in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 1 188

Treat Yourself Day

By Anonymous - 13/05/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I sent my wife to a 5 hour spa day. She's now upset because she had to wait to get a pedicure, and the house wasn’t clean when she got home. We have a toddler and I was playing with her, running errands, and cooking us a family dinner. She's a stay at home mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 162

By gentileman - 16/03/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 93

He's a keeper

By Anonymous - 23/02/2026 22:00

Today, my mom announced that she's getting back together with my stepdad, who just got out of prison. He was in prison because he beat her, choked her, and caused her to have a miscarriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 65

Thematical

By Anonymous - 22/08/2024 14:00

Today, at our wedding, my groomsmen had a lightsaber fight on the dance floor. Everyone was laughing and the kids loved it. My wife burst into tears, started screaming that we ruined her fairytale wedding, and stormed out. Our entire relationship started when we met at the cinema when Star Wars was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 157

By brunhilde - 16/09/2012 10:14 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, it’s been two weeks since I’ve been in Hungary. I make the most of being away from home by dieting, eating for lunch every day a pot of really nice yoghurt with fresh fruit. I learned this morning that “Tejfol” doesn’t mean “yoghurt”, but “cream”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 160

TMI, mom

By Anonymous - 31/05/2023 18:00 - United States - Berkeley Springs

Today, my mom was on the phone when she decided to blurt out that she got me probiotics for my stomach issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 168

Bon appétit, I guess

By Jenn86 - 18/08/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I tried my hand at baking homemade individual apple tarts. While taking them out of the oven, I dropped the entire tray on the floor. My dog acted like it was Christmas in August and scarfed at least half of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 164

Accept it

By Anonymous - 21/05/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother refuses to acknowledge that I’m married because instead of a church, we got married outdoors in a lovely pagan ceremony (with a real marriage licence from the city council, obviously) and she keeps trying to introduce me to nice, single men from church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 133

Never a dull moment

By Annoyed - 09/04/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I’m a nurse on a night shift and I finally got a quiet moment to eat. I heated my meal, sat down, and took one bite before my pager went off. By the time I got back 40 minutes later, someone had “cleaned up” the break room and thrown my untouched dinner away. I ate crackers from a vending machine at 3 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 87

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Random

Today, I lost all hope on making my project high quality because of my partner's incompetence. My partner, AKA the company president. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 407

You deserved it 2 534

Today, to celebrate my older sister's 21st birthday, my parents forced me to take the night off work so we could all go to the casino. Not only is this coming out of my vacation, I wasn't old enough to enter the casino, so I had to sit in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 877

You deserved it 4 442

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw a cop come up behind me. Nervous about my expired license, I kept checking in my rear view mirror. In turn since I wasn't paying attention, I ran a stop sign. Needless to say the cop pulled me over and gave me 2 tickets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 574

You deserved it 68 160

Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 123

You deserved it 5 270

Today, my toddler threw a screaming, rampaging fit, because I ate the last chocolate mousse from the fridge. Did I forget to mention said toddler is actually my 52 year old dad? FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 213

You deserved it 709

Today, I fucked up a relationship, by accident, and then they broke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 735