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The all-time greatest FMLs

You're on your own

By Anonymous - 10/11/2023 00:02

Today, almost half of my birthday party invitees are refusing to attend, simply because my mother-in-law is going to be there, and their hatred of her Karen-like behaviour is greater than their desire to celebrate my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 241

What if God was one of us?

By This is why people are abandoning religion. - 05/03/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, my parents have been slowly coming closer to figuring out that I'm an atheist. They've stated to me and my siblings since we were old enough to think independently that if any of us turned out to be atheists, they'd disown us. I'm not sure what to do here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 197

School sucks

By I didn't let them down - 04/04/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, my PE teacher was yelling at me because I got exhausted too quickly. As we neared the end of the exercise, he declared, "I will let y'all go early if [my name] doesn't give up halfway through this part." With all of the pressure on me, I forced myself to keep going. Then I promptly collapsed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 143

DIY nightmare

By Anonymous - 20/04/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad uttered the dreaded words, “Now don’t worry boy, I knows exactly what I is doing.” A few short minutes later he has a destroyed impact drill, my ladder is snapped, my kitchen window is broken, my wife is in hospital for stitches, and we can’t find the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 117

High school reunions blow anyway

By Spaceballs - 27/08/2023 00:02

Today, I got an invite to my high school reunion. With visions of wowing my former classmates, I set about starting a diet and exercise regimen. The universe had other plans. On my first run out in the fields, I managed to trip over an invisible pebble, fall into a puddle, and fuck my ankle up. The only thing I'm reuniting with now is my couch and a bag of ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 221

I have needs

By why - 11/09/2025 20:00

Today, as always, my boyfriend has a micropenis. He found my dildo and started crying because it was bigger than him. I love him to death and would never cheat on him, but sometimes I just need to be filled up. Am I wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 154

Telepathy?

By So tired - 24/05/2023 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my incredibly needy rescue cat - who knows she doesn't get to go into my bedroom at night - decided that she needed to wail and scratch the bedroom door from midnight until 5 a.m. Now that I'm awake, she's ignoring me because she knows I'm mad at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 391

Let me be

By Dying - 30/12/2024 09:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, after spending two days pampering my sick fiancee and her sick son, they were finally feeling better. I woke up feeling rotten and said I needed to rest. She said, "Okay, but I want to deep clean today. Let's go! Out of bed! Up up!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 96

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 1 928

The definition of irony

By Rastaa_Reyes - 16/05/2019 23:52

Today, I went to Wal-Mart with my mom. She kept telling me to put my keys away so I wouldn't lose them. After a few times, I got annoyed and yelled at her. When we got back to her house, I realized I'd lost my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 3 056

Sweeped out

By Anonymous - 20/03/2024 22:00 - South Africa - Germiston

Today, my wife and I spent hours cleaning our home, including her mother’s room, which has a floor covered in talcum powder (that she believes keeps ants away). After laboriously sweeping, and then washing the floor, it eventually dried. Two minutes later she poured talc all over the floor again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 183

Bad date

By GothicGhosty - 12/06/2023 00:02

Today I got stuck in a restaurant booth and needed my date to help pull me out. I'm only 23. Safe to say he won't be calling me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 412

Acting up

By Anonymous - 18/03/2026 15:00

Today, I was passed over for a promotion for a role that I was acting in for a year because I'm not "qualified" for it. But I have to train the person who got the role on how to do the role that I am "not qualified for." The fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 53

Welcome to middle age

By Daisy - 23/11/2022 12:00

Today, I found out I've been adulting too long when I noticed that the bags at Smart & Final are shorter than the last time I was here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 168

By gege31 - 08/11/2010 11:48 - Ireland

Today, during a school trip to Ireland, I tried taking a souvenir picture of a sheep wearing my sunglasses. So, if you ever see a sheep running past with sunglasses on, they're mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 520

Cost effective

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 00:00

Today, I am now sans job due to burnout. My supervisors recognized I was overworked, and I'd told them I was not able to keep up with all the roles loaded on. I guess firing me was the best business solution. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 148

Keep it to yourself

By Anonymous - 30/09/2025 20:00

Today, I had to have the awkward conversation with my adult daughter that the reason I’m divorcing her mom is because she’s not my daughter, she’s actually the daughter of her mom's secret boyfriend, who she’s been screwing behind my back for almost 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 70

Red flag!

By Anonymous - 05/03/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out the guy I've been in an exclusive, serious relationship with for the last twelve months has been using online dating apps for the past three months, but it's "only chatting" and he doesn't consider it cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 121

Idiots

By Anonymous - 19/07/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband took our son into the woods with a big stick and two tennis rackets because they'd found a hornets nest. Yes, they used the stick to poke the nest and the tennis rackets to whack the hornets, like they thought it was a game. They got swarmed and are now in hospital. Idiots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 114

Late announcement

By 307 - 19/05/2023 10:00 - United States - Omaha

Today, it’s Mother’s Day. My mother-in-law, who is batshit crazy, bought her daughter a pinwheel. My MIL claims she “saw it and knew it was for her.” Her daughter is 47. This might be laughable, but over the years, her daughter is slowly turning into her. I’m effed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 167

By sickkid - 23/11/2009 18:05 - United States

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 69

Woof woof

By Anonymous - 10/10/2023 00:02

Today, I entered my neighbors’ yard around a shorter corner than usual. Their old dog is getting a bit slow, but unfortunately only in her head: By the time she recognized me as harmless, she had already run up and bitten me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 237

Cracked

By Maria - 29/12/2023 06:00 - United States - La Junta

Today, I faced my fear of needles and had my wisdom teeth extracted while awake. On the last tooth, I heard a loud crack. The root broke off in my jawbone and had to be drilled out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 101

Tired of cooking for you ungrateful lot

By Anonymous - 23/11/2022 10:00 - United States - Utica

Today, our freezer was full because my Dad got a free turkey from work. Thing is, my mom bought a pre-made ham, even though she knows my dad brings home a turkey every year. Why? Because of all the prep work that goes into making the turkey, including clearing out the kitchen, and throwing it into the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 218

Bad guy

By randy - 16/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my cheating ex is telling everyone she knows that I'm a stalker, abuser, and manipulator. I was always there for her and was trying to talk to her. The other guy was the guy she lost her V-card to in high school. He deals drugs, and beat his ex, even her back in the day. She has nothing but praise for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 99

Lunatics out here

By fuck your rights - 03/02/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, when I tried to go to work, there were gun nuts blocking the road near my apartment, protesting something or other. I called the cops to break it up, only to be told, "We can't do anything because they have rights." Don't I have the right to not be terrorized by lunatics? FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 369

Heated gaming moment

By Too young for a job btw - 17/03/2026 00:00

Today, my younger brother broke his Switch in a fit of gamer rage. When my dad refused to buy him a new one, he had a massive tantrum. Later, he dunked mine in the toilet since it "wasn't fair" that I still had a Switch and he didn't. My parents beat him, but they won't buy me a new one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 83

Fore!

By Anonymous - 06/12/2023 18:00 - United States - Cary

Today, while playing golf on a local course, my idiot of a friend decided to push his pushcart down a massive hill towards me. When he realized that I was going to be hit, he screamed for me to move, but it was too late. I collapsed to the ground in pain, all while he chuckled about the situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 124

Hot or not

By Anonymous - 08/08/2023 04:00

Today, my friend sent me a weird selfie in black and white. I sent one back, and she said I looked like an 80s porn star. It was funny, but then three of my friends had the same reaction. I didn't even look good in the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 200

Rough night, huh?

By Anonymous - 12/02/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was drunk and broke my leg. I called 911, only for the cops to turn up and make me try to walk, with them saying that I was faking my injury. They arrested me for being drunk in public and hours later I finally got to an ER. I had to have surgery on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 191

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The Top

Random

Today, I visited my grandma. Shortly after I arrived, she freaked out after finding a "snake" in her closet. It was a rubber snake that my brother must have put there yesterday as a prank. I picked it up and told her it was fake. She then yelled at me for playing such a disgusting prank on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 517

You deserved it 3 722

Today, I learned I have a severe sinus infection, my body really can't handle antibiotics, and I can projectile vomit out my nose. Not sure if I am more impressed that I still somehow aimed the puke into the sink, or that swallowing afterwards hurt more than emptying my stomach via my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 455

You deserved it 2 273

Today, I got a new comfy duvet and pillow and was looking forward to a good night's sleep. I got into bed and was followed by my dog, who then threw up the tub of butter he had just stolen from the kitchen onto my brand new bed spread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 811

You deserved it 5 279

Today, I was babysitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two-hour struggle, I finally managed to get them into bed. I then asked them what they wanted before going to sleep. The eldest replied: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 451

You deserved it 3 125

Today, I got absolutely hammered and noticed this familiar-looking chick. I walked up to her and said, "Oh my god, I know I know you but I don't know where from." Looking annoyed, she replied, "We've worked together for months." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 513

You deserved it 2 892

Today, my sister told me her ex-boyfriend abused her and I went to go confront him. Turns out, she lied because he dumped her after she cheated on him. I got my ass kicked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 747

You deserved it 609