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Hump Day

By FML Videos - 21/11/2018 18:30

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 80

By anonymous - 05/09/2012 16:25 - United States - El Cajon

Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 696

You deserved it 2 581

Welcome!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went over to welcome this new couple to our subdivision with a bottle of wine and muffins. I told them I liked what they were doing with the place, then asked them when they had moved in. They replied, "Two years ago." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 539

You deserved it 38 399

By hatelife - 30/12/2009 19:07 - United States

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 292

You deserved it 4 850

By areyouserious - 17/11/2014 03:46 - United States - Fresno

Today, my older brother thinks typing out a Wikipedia article for an essay is not plagiarism, because he didn't "copy and paste" it. He's in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 004

You deserved it 2 502

By fml - 10/08/2013 10:48 - United States - Perry

Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 661

You deserved it 12 277

By Anonymous - 12/12/2010 20:32 - United Kingdom

Today, after months of dieting, I finally reached my goal weight. Excitedly I told my boyfriend, who gave me a beautiful dress as an early Christmas present. It was a size too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 735

You deserved it 5 208

ESPN Love

By pieceofcake163 - 29/12/2009 08:59 - United States

Today, I found out that my booty call only likes to have sex with me so afterwards he can watch ESPN on my plasma screen TV, because he has neither. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 642

You deserved it 17 125

This Charming Man

By Anonymous - 06/02/2022 00:01

Today, my wife and I have been trying for kids for years and nothing, yet my deadbeat brother just ran out on his third pregnant girlfriend in a row, with no intention of meeting the baby ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 151

By PissedOff - 26/01/2017 14:25

Today, my husband sent me a short video of my snoring last night because I wanted to hear how bad I sound. The first few seconds went by OK, but for the rest of the clip I could barely hear anything else over the sound of my husband taking a long piss in our bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 793

You deserved it 483

TikTok strikes again

By Anonymous - 10/01/2022 14:01

Today, I tried the 'drop the towel' challenge in front of my wife so I could record her reaction for TikTok, and maybe get some weekend booty. She barely even reacted, gave me the 'go away I’m busy' arm wave, and when I didn’t leave fast enough, she actually whipped my knob with her charging cable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 148

You deserved it 2 025

Come again?

By Anonymous - 07/08/2013 10:49 - Australia - Redfern

Today, during an otherwise promising job interview, I was asked how much I thought was too much for a "good hit of blow". I must have stayed speechless for too long, because the guy's next words were, "Yeah, you're not cut out for this." I'm shocked and baffled too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 267

You deserved it 4 317

Manchild

By pixiebubz - 06/10/2011 03:59 - Australia

Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 946

You deserved it 29 442

No pain, no gain

By Lewis - 06/12/2018 00:30 - France - Paris

He may need some medicine balls

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 145

By Anonymous - 07/11/2014 23:59 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I finally found out why my husband is always so eager and happy to buy me whatever I am craving during my pregnancy. It's because it gives him an excuse to meet up with his mistress and have a quickie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 816

You deserved it 4 074

By masterman - 27/08/2012 06:45 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 154

You deserved it 2 956

By chickety boom - 02/08/2013 12:41 - United States - Austin

Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 990

You deserved it 4 313

Definite YDI

By ThatWasACloseOne - 17/04/2023 06:00

Today, I was singing the Peaches song from the Mario movie in the kitchen. My wife asked what I was singing, so I told her “It was the song from the Mario movie remember? We saw it together.” She says “No, we didn’t?” Then I realized she’s right. I’d taken my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 3 327

By Nemesis2747 - 24/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 849

You deserved it 3 329

By k.k. - 05/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Seymour

Today, I left 20 minutes early for school to get a good seat in class. I sat in traffic for 20 minutes before I even got on the thruway and for another 25 minutes once I got off the exit for school. Then I couldn't find parking at my university. I missed class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 959

You deserved it 809

By XYZee - 22/08/2012 20:27 - United States - Rockmart

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 979

You deserved it 2 011

Erroneous instructions

By jordigs - 23/12/2009 08:46 - United States

Today, the elderly couple next door asked me to cut down a tree in their yard. It turns out they told me to cut down the wrong tree, and I cut down the tree they got married under. They now hate me and tell me they plan to sue me for damage to property. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 548

You deserved it 4 268

What the hell?

By BarbaraP - 18/09/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, my husband once again went to my sister’s room (she's been living with us since her husband passed away) and claims he’s comforting her. He locks the door and there are moaning noises, but they insist that it’s her crying for her dead husband. They called me “selfish” for me questioning their motives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 177

By Keira McArthur - 25/12/2018 20:00

Today, my car fob died on me when I was going to get donations because my house burnt down two days ago, FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 785

You deserved it 311

By SakuraBreeze - 26/09/2011 05:18 - United States

Today, I was working at my new job at a food court on campus. One of the supervisors came up to my station and told me that I "really look like someone who, through some miracle, accidentally found their way into college." He then threw a pickle at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 724

You deserved it 2 640

Help! I need somebody! Anybody!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I called up Verizon Wireless to "complain" about my phone service. I really had nothing to complain about, I was just that lonely that I wanted someone to talk to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 279

You deserved it 31 364

By NoPainNoGain - 05/06/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 122

Let him have his fun!

By Anonymous - 28/04/2023 00:00

Today, despite all my hard work persuading my retired husband to take up sensible hobbies, he now cosplays at comic book conventions, collects replica swords from films, goes paintballing once a month with men half his age, and watches two hours of Japanese anime every night before bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 1 360

By thatguy - 21/12/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, I bought a laptop so that I could have dirty video chats with my internet girlfriend. I got home only to find that the only place I can get a decent wifi signal is in front of my mom's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 629

You deserved it 24 250

By soisblueballsdickhead - 26/10/2014 14:25 - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 101

You deserved it 9 727

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The Top

Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 months told me he doesn't know how he feels about me because he's not excited when we meet and doesn't miss me when we don't text for a while. He decided to tell me this while we were laying in bed right after having sex for the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 255

You deserved it 1 233

Today, I hit my boss's car. It's only my second day on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 296

You deserved it 10 303

Today, I witnessed a series of nude old people cycling in the city. I was eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 964

You deserved it 5 360

Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 177

You deserved it 3 067

Today, I rang up a customer’s items. The total came out to $24.67. She handed me a bag full of coins and looked at me expectantly. I asked if she had any other payment methods; she got irritated and said ,“If I did, I wouldn’t have given you this, stupid!” I had to count them. She was still 6 dollars short. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 143

Today, it's been two years since my dad died on my birthday. Last year I was able to be out of the US on the day thanks to rewards points, because I don't want to be around my normal boring routine the day of. This year I could have made it if my car's repair cost less than $600. Turns out it's going to cost $1000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 105