The Top

I probably should have stated in the OP that I've only had my dog for 2 months, and upon receiving him, he was immediately signed up for obedience training. In fact, he graduated last Monday.

By Anonymous - 24/08/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 523

You deserved it 5 418

Social distancing

By Noname - 15/02/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I stood by the wall at a party while everyone else danced and ignored me. It was my birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 971

You deserved it 11 620

By Kevin - 10/03/2010 08:39 - Canada

Today, my parents took my laptop, cut the Internet, took my car keys and TV, and removed my bedroom door. Why? Because they thought the plant I was growing for my science project was a marijuana plant. Oh yeah, they took that too. My presentation is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 522

You deserved it 2 809

By Anonymous - 23/08/2009 19:41 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my little brother. He was looking at me and says "so cool." I asked him what was so cool and he says "it's not that cool but, your eyebrow connects to your other eyebrow". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 185

You deserved it 13 399

Hangry

By Broke as hell - 07/04/2020 23:00

Today, after being robbed last week, I had no money to go to the store for food. Instead, my dinner consisted of two Tums chewables in tropical fruit flavors. After not eating all day, I thought they actually tasted pretty good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 061

You deserved it 170

Impressive

By Rachal - 30/01/2012 01:27 - United States

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 790

You deserved it 10 933

Rules for life

By Loveless - 23/08/2009 00:43 - United States

Today, after my partner of two years broke up with me, I decided to have a heart to heart with my mother about it. Her advice was to clean the house. I asked how that would make me feel better. She said that she wasn't sure, but at least the house would be clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 590

You deserved it 4 642

Still a better a love story than Alien vs. Predator

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 07:59 - United States

Today, the girl who I had a desperate crush on in high school 25 years ago, and who would never go out with me, told me that she was actually head over heels in love with me, but was so cripplingly shy that she couldn't say yes. She's divorced now. I'm married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 231

You deserved it 289

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, my psycho ex defaced my car. She didn't key it or slash my tires. She posted "TRUMP 2016" bumper stickers all over it. I don't know what glue they use, but it's been 2 hours and I haven't gotten any of them off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 934

You deserved it 2 381

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 572

You deserved it 70 009

Today, a student came in late to class, and there were only a couple of seats available. I waved her over offering her the seat beside me with the quip, "It's OK, you can sit by me. I don't smell or anything." I realized after she sat down that she actually did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 596

You deserved it 5 198

Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 231

You deserved it 7 989

Today, I went to a dollar store with a couple friends to buy cap guns to play with. We were having a lot of fun with them, and took them onto a bus. 5 minutes later, three cops got on, handcuffed us, and sternly talked to us about the dangers of guns. We got arrested for toy guns. We are 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 411

You deserved it 58 660

Today, my husband is so useless that he forgot to pick our son up from my mother's, forgot to take our daughter to the doctor, forgot to buy some groceries we need, and after begging for another appointment with the doctor, he forgot what was wrong with our daughter (a massive rash) I despair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 841

You deserved it 380