The Top

I did get it resolved as we have a police officer in the parking lot before and after school. He vouched for me as he saw the guy doing the burnouts through his windshield. Thanks for the comments!

So, here's the thing…

By MIG2204 - 15/04/2019 20:00 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, my school told us that we all need to be checked and treated for threadworms. So now I need to go tell my girlfriend that she needs to be checked and treated for threadworms. We have been dating for little over a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 077

You deserved it 207

Slightly homophobic, but OK…

By Anonymous - 27/02/2022 04:00

Today, I was pulled into an argument between a woman and her boyfriend. He wanted to buy a jacket and she wanted my opinion, as a gay man, on whether it suited him. I’m not gay, I'm even married to a woman. They were very surprised because apparently I look "super gay." Other shoppers agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 188

Shut up!

By Beepbeepbeep - 01/09/2011 02:50 - United States

Today, I lost power. That didn't stop my house alarm from running on battery, loudly informing me in a British accent, "AC power disconnected. BEEP. AC power disconnected. BEEP." It's been going on for 5 hours and the battery takes a special screwdriver to remove. One we don't have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 319

You deserved it 4 369

By lulabell - 19/05/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I waved at a cute guy when I was leaving Wendy's. I then ran into a curb, spilled my Frosty, and hit my head on the steering wheel. I turned around and both the cute guy and his dad were in hysterics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 259

You deserved it 43 973

TMI!!

By mystupidson - 31/08/2011 03:30 - United States

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said, "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 915

You deserved it 3 979

Chill out, dude

By Anonymous - 16/04/2022 02:00

Today, on my first day off in months, my stepdad woke me up at the buttcrack of dawn, screaming at me to “get my lazy ass up” and start doing some chores. I guess pretending to still be asleep didn’t make him to go away, because I then felt hot water seeping through the blankets and onto my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 230

You deserved it 170

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Make up Health Racism Miscellaneous #FAFO NSFW Awkward Sex Intimacy AITA Love Sexism Kids Relatable Money Cars Work Anger issues LGBTQIA+ Homophobia Religion Friends Weird Jealousy Dogs Animals Technology Videos Neighbours Annoying

The Top

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 573

You deserved it 7 196

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday, and I thought I'd surprise him after work by wearing nothing but a smile on his bed. As I heard someone come in, I had a huge smile on my face. Turns out it was his dad and all his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 627

You deserved it 18 070

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find a very gorgeous girl in my bed. Her only words to me were "did anything happen?" When I replied yes she began to cry. Nice to know I was someone's rock bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 644

You deserved it 5 625

Today, my son claimed credit for a money-saving scheme at work that belonged to a colleague. He claimed this to someone in very upper management, but when they tried to ask follow-up questions, he obviously had no idea how to answer, admitted his lie and was sacked on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 444

Today, my boyfriend truly is a master of efficiency, by successfully cutting sex down to one minute for a back massage, 1-2 minutes of foreplay, 20 seconds of penetration, 4-5 minutes lying on his back trying to catch his breath, followed by 8 hours of sleep, including gorilla-like snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 274

Today, I’m so tired of being there for those who are not there for me. I have one car, you couldn’t pick me up from the mechanics so I wouldn’t need to sit there 6 hours? Yeah roomie, I’ll stop on way home to get your dog some chicken… FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 239