The Top

We have been together for over 9 months, and it was actually a very romantic date. He is one of the best guys I have ever met, and I couldn't be a luckier girl!

Not a fan

By Cheri - 13/09/2021 13:59

Today, it’s my mom’s 65th birthday celebration. I have to share a room at the resort, table and car ride with my sister, who my ex-husband left me for and got pregnant. She tries to talk to me as if nothing ever happened, and my parents bitch me out for being upset at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 828

You deserved it 119

By YOURMOM - 31/12/2011 07:24 - United States

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 074

You deserved it 6 016

By Anonymous - 24/02/2011 10:34 - United States

Today, I asked my dad what his plans for Friday were. Apparently, he's going to a concert with my step-mom all evening. It's been their plan for months. Friday is my birthday. That's been set since the day I was born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 272

You deserved it 7 060

Can't face it

By bearded lady - 08/06/2020 14:03

Today, thanks to all my medications, I've been growing thick, dark hair on my face. I decided to use hair removal cream instead of shaving. The cream removed every trace of hair, but also made my skin about 4 times lighter than the rest of my face. It's even more noticeable than the beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 496

You deserved it 257

Creepy roommates #56

By Anonymous - 16/09/2021 23:00

Today, I awoke to a strange feeling on my feet. It felt like a tongue, so at first thought it was the dog, but we don't have one. I looked down and it was my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 292

You deserved it 90

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The Top

Today, I found out my mom recently stopped taking her medication. I came home to find she'd shot my dog because she thought he was possessed by the devil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 814

You deserved it 2 203

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 196

You deserved it 7 795

Today, working in retail, I noticed a customer looking for an item, so I walked up to them and asked, "Is there something I can help you find?" He replied, "Did I ask for your fucking help?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 895

You deserved it 206

Today, I realized that when someone's pregnant or introduces me to their kids, they're saying, "I had sex with this person" and now I can’t stop visualizing it. Keep me out of your personal life, Tom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 1 398

Today, my boyfriend complained that I "treat him like a child" by asking him if he’s brushed his teeth before we kiss. Gee maybe if he brushed regularly like a fucking adult, I wouldn’t HAVE to ask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 228

Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 452