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OP, mhm, actually. Me and my brothers joke around like that all the time, we're close enough to mess with each other and not let it bother us. And his wife (uhm, soon to be ex), I always thought, was one of the sweetest people in the world, so I never expected this. Yus, my foot is firmly in my mouth, and Imma leave it there a while so I don't say anything else stupid any time soon -.-

Mommy milkers

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 05:17 - Malaysia

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 185

You deserved it 4 274

By nofriends - 01/06/2011 04:28 - Japan

Today, I wrote in my own yearbook with different styles of handwriting so my mom would think I have friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 376

You deserved it 15 056

You tried

By dumped - 26/07/2010 23:48 - United States

Today, I was in the shower and I heard my boyfriend walk in. I struck my sexiest pose and when he came in, he looked me up and down and told me, "You look like my mother." Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 728

You deserved it 5 646

By Baustigt - 28/03/2012 11:19 - Australia - Perth

Today, I learned that an inspired gardening spree is not as fulfilling as some would have us believe. One punctured hand, cactussed foot and bruised ankle later, I'm beginning to regret waking up this morning and thinking, "What the hell, I'll nuke the shit out of some weeds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 438

You deserved it 7 501

By bonbon789 - 27/03/2014 18:10 - United States

Today, I wanted to eat my last bowl of sugary cereal before starting my new diet. I fell down the stairs with the full bowl in hand. Message received, universe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 667

You deserved it 8 099

Almost right

By Anonymous - 26/05/2021 06:01

Today, I told my mom she made me feel unloved my whole life. She called my sister and apologized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 84

Clear and precise

By Anonymous - 26/09/2009 23:02 - Canada

Today, I wrote to the guy whom I am in love with to tell him how I feel about him. He was very calm and told me to give him some time to think it over. Later in the day, I found out he blocked my number and rejected me on Facebook. But, the worst part is he then texted me saying, "This is my reply". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 344

You deserved it 5 083

By SHK519 - 25/03/2012 01:07 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I started a new blog that I've been planning for weeks. So far, the only comments I've received are a dozen spam links, two people correcting my grammar, and a lady telling me I'm going to burn in hell for calling the Pope a noob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 063

You deserved it 41 586

SHK519 tells us more.

SHK519 1

Sunday 25 March 2012 8:22

Hey, I'm the OP. For your information, my grammar was impeccable. The people correcting it were American readers "correcting" stuff such as "colour", "realise", and the usual suspects. As for calling the Pope a noob, it was joking. I was ranting about the Africa situation actually, and I said he's a noob to the real world if he thinks celibacy is going to fix it. Thanks for demonising me, though! Anyone who thinks I deserve to be threatened with eternal hellfire for writing my opinions is stupid. I've shut the thing down until I write more material, because people in general are ******* stupid.

By Anonymous - 27/05/2011 03:05 - United States

Today, I had to give a 63 year old man a shot. He started bawling before I even brought out the needle. I tried to get him calm down. Then he grabbed the needle, threw it at me and ran out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 819

You deserved it 3 231