By RaccoonFever - 10/01/2014 11:15 - United States - La Jolla
The Top
Eternally romantic
By singledumbfuck - 22/03/2020 03:30
Training
By Anonymous - 10/04/2011 05:07 - United States
By Unhelpful - 07/02/2012 04:27 - United States
Tonight, on Asshole Bosses…
By ThanksAsshole - 28/03/2020 20:00
Classy
By EK. - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
By Cossack_Man - 25/08/2009 20:07 - United States
Festival spirit
By Festivalgal - 01/08/2021 20:01
Love language
By upupandaway - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States
Small detail
By littlemissgullible - 10/03/2010 01:17 - United States
By apparentlythereisnokarma - 01/01/2013 21:00 - Canada - Didsbury
By Username - 27/03/2011 18:09 - United States
By hot_friend - 19/12/2013 06:13 - United States
Night snack
By adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Netherlands - Leiden
Don't knock it until you try it
By MiraR - 07/11/2022 04:00
Tricky situation
By Im done for life - 15/03/2024 20:00 - United States
By csc4lyfe09 - 03/03/2010 00:00 - United States
By Lin - 02/03/2010 05:57 - United States
By MacGrouber - 17/03/2011 00:12 - United States
By marcranger - 06/12/2013 02:30 - United States - Littleton
marcranger tells us more.
By Ape - 17/12/2012 23:12 - United States
By emchocolat - 16/12/2012 16:55 - Europe
emchocolat_fml tells us more.
Thanks for your comments and highly original puns ! Just to clear the language issue up: "I was burgled" is correct British English (as opposed to American English) and means "Somebody broke into my house and stole things that belonged to me". "Burglarized" is the American synonym. The site said I come from Europe - I do, but it's a big place. I come from England and I live in Mayotte, a French territory in the Indian Ocean.
By ali456 - 01/12/2013 15:16 - United Kingdom - Dudley
ali456 tells us more.
For those who are saying what he did was 'quite fishy', I have to agree. His excuse was, and I quote, "I only realised I had to pick you up half way through the journey, and there was no point turning back". I'm currently not speaking to him, for pretty obvious reasons, and he's now staying at his parents house. The reason I 'normally wouldn't have minded' is because if I wasn't pregnant, and if it wasn't raining, I easily could've caught the bus or walked home and sorted him out afterwards! He is also friends with his ex, and I've met her and spoken to her on quite casual terms before. And for the people who called me a 'chump' and said that I 'shouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place', thank you - I'll keep it in mind for next time!
Covidiots just wanna have fun
By Anonymous - 28/08/2021 13:59
By lolzboss - 07/03/2011 19:04 - United States
By Very_Bad_Luck - 10/08/2009 04:41 - United States
Very_Bad_Luck tells us more.
Hi. I'm deciding to comment on my own FML to truly thank the people who wish me luck and keep me in their prayers. If you wish to learn more check out my profile. Thanks!!
Snooping
By ks0300 - 24/02/2010 05:47 - United States
Not welcome here
By Imgonnahaveabf - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States
By vidzgrl - 28/01/2009 19:51 - Canada
The ruling class wins again
By jcrb - 03/09/2021 10:59
Keywords
This actually happened a couple years ago, and to answer everyone's implied questions, yes he is now my ex, yes this incident was the catalyst, yes I called the cops, and yes I got the car back! After standing outside for a few seconds with my jaw flapping in the wind, then realizing my phone was in the car to top everything else off, I went back inside and had the attendant dial the local cops. Since I knew the make, model, license plate, and rough direction where the cockhole was going, it was pretty easy to track down. He did have the audacity to call me and ask (demand, actually) that I bail his ass out, but I laughed and hung up. I ultimately wound up dropping the charges, since his parents are very well-connected in their hometown, and I knew the lawyer they got him would have been able to get him off on probation or something equally pathetic. But mostly I dropped them because the family was wealthy and vindictive enough that I could have seen them suing me (!!!) to get back the cost of the lawyer's fees, and once it was all said and done, I just wanted a clean break. He had some mental health issues (depression, alcoholism, longtime unemployment) going on way before this, and I'd been weighing my options for getting out for a while. At least his real-life GTA5 enactment gave me the chance I needed!