By DC - 11/10/2016 13:41 - United States - Sioux City
The Top
MAKE IT STOP
By FML Approved - 12/07/2017 19:05 - France - Paris
What's on your mind?
By Anonymous - 13/06/2014 22:06 - Australia - Melbourne
By baldiesmom - 29/09/2016 19:07 - United States - Union
baldiesmom tells us more.
Sound and vision
By Anonymous - 27/09/2016 21:29 - United States - Fairfield
By Anonymous - 06/09/2010 04:20 - United States
By LindsayK - 09/04/2009 06:18 - United States
Weird kid
By maria lucia - 05/04/2021 21:30
By screwedupkid - 03/05/2012 17:45
By Anonymous - 08/04/2009 00:11 - United States
American Psycho
By Anonymous - 19/06/2022 16:00
By ShadowJack - 29/04/2012 15:10 - United States
By toothbreaker - 22/08/2019 20:00 - United States - Tucson
By madbirthdaymomma - 16/05/2014 03:15 - United States - Roswell
By fretting - 08/09/2016 17:02 - United States - Fort White
Judgmental much?
By Steven - 03/09/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Llanelli
By horniness - 10/10/2009 16:30 - Hong Kong
By Anthony - 16/08/2010 01:40 - United States
The first date must've been amazing
By Ami Ditbacher - 11/09/2019 07:53
Ami Ditbacher tells us more.
Yay my FML story got published! Thanks for all the great suggestions and witty comments (: this guy stopped me on the street about 2 months ago and he seemed pretty okay but I wasn't really looking to date/get into bed with someone. I broke up with my ex last year and some ugly things happened afterwards which left me incredibly insecure, alone and vulnerable. I guess that's why I'm letting people walk all over me? Anyways I gave the guy the benefit of the doubt twice already and there is no doubt now that he's not a nice person. I was absolutely okay with paying for my own meal. His "I-forgot-my-wallet" bit was a shock to me since I've never encountered someone who would be so rude. Also I always tip in restaurants as I usually get a fair treatment (and I rarely eat out since it's expensive and I prefer to cook my own food). In this case the waitress went into complete asshole mode once she got her tip and totally ignored me. And obviously I didn't put out (: I actually told the guy that I'm just looking for friends but he still felt me up without my consent. All in all: not a nice experience.
By joolsie - 13/04/2012 13:11 - United Kingdom - York
You played yourself
By anon - 25/03/2013 18:31 - United States
By Anonymous - 12/04/2012 04:18 - United States - Burnsville
By oumalina - 12/08/2010 01:54 - United States
I hate to break it to you…
By Sam - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
The Bathtub Incident
By Katie - 17/09/2019 12:01 - United States
Cop a feel
By tinytitty - 23/03/2009 03:18 - United States
Emotional
By Alisha Marie - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States
By trina - 22/03/2009 09:05 - United States
No kidding
By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 18:41 - United States - Portland
By Anonymous - 04/06/2011 00:41 - United States
Keywords
OP here. The instability of the umbrella was due to my husband cutting apart the stabilizing framework under the table that would normally keep this kind of thing from happening because he bought me a "much more awesome" umbrella that was too big for the table. He had good intentions, but I had a feeling the cutting of the framework would be a problem later. And no, there will most definitely not be a next time. As for vacuuming it up, maybe so, if I had a shop vac. As it was, he had loaned our shovel to a friend, I had no gloves, and the grass was long. I improvised and ended up using a hoe and two dust pans. It worked.