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He has been in summer camp the last couple of weeks. His group did an obstacle course through the woods and they had to get everyone over a 6 foot high wooden wall. Pretty sure he got it from that. No signs of infection.

My eyes! My eyes!

By someone - 29/07/2011 18:26 - United States

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 862

You deserved it 5 400

By Blondegirl - 07/11/2009 12:55 - United States

Today, I dyed my hair blonde for my boyfriend, hoping it would help spice up our sex life. His response? It's still a few shades off from his favorite porn star. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 934

You deserved it 5 331

Thanks, I hate it!

By pleasebackintomycaragain - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot, an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 708

You deserved it 3 413

By QueenCortana Tiffany Turner - 04/07/2019 02:00

Today, my toddler shat on her carpet again. She also decided to play in it. This is the third time in a month. She's fully potty trained, and thinks it’s funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 624

You deserved it 344

First impressions

By Anonymous - 03/03/2021 23:01

Today, while on a date, I accidentally ordered "diet water" instead of saying "diet coke". FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 308

By Sun_Kissed18 - 09/07/2014 07:26 - United States - Hillsborough

Today, at my job at a frozen yogurt shop, an elderly woman gladly announced that I'd be seeing a lot of her due to the vaginal infection that she has. Thank you for that, ma'am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 507

You deserved it 4 209

It's not a phase!

By allycat - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after a year of suspicion, I finally found out my sister is in a cult. My family's response? "It'll be good for her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 222

You deserved it 2 789

Tantrum

By brokedad - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 316

You deserved it 7 589

By Divorcee - 15/07/2019 04:02

Today, I learned that my wife had been cheating on me. What's worse? My kids found out three months before I did, and told me that they like him better than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 592

You deserved it 269

Quite rightly so

By Anonymous - 01/06/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, I was told my eldest grandson doesn't want me at his birthday party, nor does he want my gift. It would seem he and his younger brother still haven't forgiven me for my prank on Easter, when I tricked them into thinking I was taking them to the 'Big Neighborhood Egg Hunt', when really we were going to church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 3 958

By crapgirl - 18/04/2009 23:11 - United States

Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 139

You deserved it 3 767

By Former Professor - 21/07/2019 22:00

Today, I happily went to an interview after job searching for months. I learned a large part of my job would be cleaning the toilets. Every. Single. Hour. I used to lecture at a university until budget cuts happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 152

You deserved it 215

They do

By Anonymous - 24/07/2019 16:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he would be really disappointed if we had kids before we got married, because it would ruin our plans to go to Disney World for our honeymoon. Apparently, kids ruin vacations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 214

You deserved it 1 207

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The Top

Today, I faced my fears. I've always had a weird fear of looking out of windows at night, afraid a face would suddenly appear. When I heard a strange noise outside, I looked out the window. Sure enough, the face of a man suddenly appeared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 481

You deserved it 2 038

Today, I had a conversation about how Victoria Beckham ate fruit salad for her birthday, as if it was an important subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 466

You deserved it 24 887

Today, I was in sociology class and I raised my hand to ask a question, not realizing that the professor was right behind me. I smacked him right in the face, no doubt reducing my chances of a good grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 424

You deserved it 251

Today, I finally met a guy I was interested in, after being a single 21 year-old virgin, but my brother decided to be overprotective and drag me away. Like, literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 142

Today, I regret ever deciding to ask out a younger man. I’m 27 and he’s 21. I’m worried about my career, he’s worried about his Xbox; I love my parents, he’s still rebelling against his like an emo teenager; I want romance, he likes to wobble my breasts while giggling, saying, “Boobies.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 1 978

Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 131