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By Katthebamf - 28/09/2014 14:25 - United Kingdom - Cannock

Today, my dad forgot I was on the back of his motorbike. He did a wheelie and I fell off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 527

You deserved it 3 825

Katthebamf tells us more.

Katthebamf 29

Sunday 28 September 2014 19:59

I'm fine we were going around 25mph down a quiet road. I always wear my protective gear so no scrapes just a sore back. Yeah he did forget as I'm quite agile and move well with the bike. When he noticed he stopped and helped me back onto the back to get me home. He's been very apologetic ever since but I take it in good jest as we have a really good relationship. :) thank you for your concern though

By WhyM3¿?¿ - 31/03/2019 04:00

Today and so far not a good year. I'm still taking care of my mom who is sick from cancer and I seem to be the only one to help her (I'm the youngest btw). I pay the bills, clean, cook, work, bathe and feed my mother I'm exhausted I'm only 18... But it's not that my sis called me SELFISH Today...FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 792

You deserved it 193

I want a dog

By Haze - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, my parents finally fulfilled my childhood dream and got a puppy, after years of me nagging at them. The only downside is that I no longer live at home and he's not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 825

You deserved it 2 326

By foreversingle - 30/06/2013 18:09 - Netherlands - Helmond

Today, I bought some makeup supplies at the supermarket. The cashier snorted and muttered, "Not enough in the world for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 484

You deserved it 3 993

By anonymous - 19/07/2012 23:56 - United States - La Verne

Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 803

You deserved it 41 781

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 01:31 - United States

Today, there was an animal rummaging around in my trashcan, so I kicked the trashcan to see what it was. The fox then chased me for three blocks to find out what I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 183

By Anonymous - 17/05/2009 11:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I had organised to go for an all day fishing trip, but had forgotten to book a day off. I called my boss and told him that I had to stay with my mum in hospital after a car crash that she had last night. He called me a liar and fired me. Turns out my mum is having an affair with my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 007

You deserved it 21 524

By dammitall - 15/05/2009 18:49 - United States

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 461

You deserved it 4 890

By Salzburg - 06/05/2019 12:00

Today, my sister and I got a room in the attic of an old hotel, while our parents got a room several floors down. We discovered the room was full of bugs. Our parents didn't believe us, so we brought them some as proof. They told us to get over it. We can't sleep. We've killed 50 and counting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 115

You deserved it 199

Hey how are you?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer, and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 251

You deserved it 4 375

By deadman - 09/07/2012 18:25 - United Kingdom - Market Harborough

Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 406

You deserved it 2 483

By Anonymous - 24/08/2011 08:03 - United States

Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 435

You deserved it 3 311

By Abu - 25/12/2016 10:05

Today I broke my glasses beyond repair. I am very nearly legally blind. I get my glasses at Walmart and today, Christmas, is the only day out of the entire year that they are closed. Merry Christmas to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 588

You deserved it 1 078

By daycare worker - 23/12/2016 18:41 - United States - Houston

Today, I told my 4-year-old daughter that when she grew up she could work at a daycare, like me, to help all of the little kids like her. She started crying because she thought it was a bad job to have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 782

You deserved it 1 764

High times

By explanations - 14/06/2013 06:48 - United States - Des Plaines

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 694

You deserved it 7 958

Dancing With The Stares

By Travolta - 20/05/2019 02:13

Today, I was at a party and I danced. Judging by people's stares, I should never ever attempt it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 676

You deserved it 312

All sexed up

By Anonymous - 24/10/2010 07:31 - United States

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 294

You deserved it 48 365

By Anonymous - 07/05/2009 17:22 - United States

Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 786

You deserved it 4 702

By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 22:00

Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the picture of "him as a baby" is really his son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 229

You deserved it 179

By FattyMcFatFace - 24/05/2019 22:00

Today, I overheard the popular kids say that they were planning on going to the local fast food restaurant to take pictures of the obese people that go there. Not only do I work there, but my family and I were planning on having dinner there tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 974

You deserved it 360

By you ripped them off ages ago - 17/08/2014 06:15 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 083

You deserved it 16 346

Excuse me?

By youcould'vejusttoldme - 11/05/2017 21:00 - United States - College Station

Today, my roommate started packing up for when we move out in August. Thirty boxes later, I realized she's leaving me with only a dishtowel and a skillet while she traipses through Europe for the summer. She even packed the silverware. And the curtains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 381

You deserved it 492

My eyes!

By Anonymous - 30/05/2019 02:00

Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 460

You deserved it 288

By Grad2010 - 18/11/2009 19:41 - United States

Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 969

You deserved it 3 162

By dedeanne08 - 12/12/2016 01:18 - United States - Newark

Today, I received some new snow boots I had ordered online. When I opened the package there was only one boot in the box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 630

You deserved it 600

Wisdom

By unsuspcted - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my son told me to "grow a pair" and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 205

You deserved it 37 913

By why - 12/10/2015 02:07 - United States - Broomfield

Today, I'm no longer allowed to work the drive-thru at my job, because over the weekend, 3 dumbasses I go to school with came in and complained to my manager, saying I sounded a creepy pervert and that it scared them enough to take their business elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 496

You deserved it 1 986

Daddy's in the shit again

By habbsrule - 15/06/2012 14:21 - Canada

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 517

You deserved it 30 149

Actor's Studio

By biggieT - 14/06/2012 02:21 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 128

You deserved it 7 610

Polyamory is complicated

By wtf - 20/02/2021 05:01

Today, I had amazing sex with my new boyfriend. Later, my husband told me I'd betrayed him, even though he had told me it was okay, because he heard it. I’ve been forced to hear to him through the thin walls of our house, having sex with my ex, for almost a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 156

You deserved it 2 363

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me he was going out tonight to celebrate his ex-but-still-friends-girlfriend's birthday at a local club and hopes I wasn't offended that I wasn't invited. I sure am offended; we have the same birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 442

You deserved it 4 141

Today, I left my bedroom window open to let in some fresh air while I slept. A skunk got in and sprayed my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 405

You deserved it 8 685

Today, my wife yet again started nagging me about a project I've been working on. With every single whiny word spewed from her yap, I could feel my excitement diminish, until it was replaced entirely with resentment and a craving for beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 297

Today, I found out that my company was throwing a work picnic. When I showed up, I realized that it had been planned months ago and I wasn't supposed to find out. The entire staff was there, greeting me with faces of utter shock. Nothing says "you suck" more than being "that guy" at your job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 164

You deserved it 6 302

Today, I found out I can’t get in-state tuition at my college, all because I’m under 24 and considered a "dependent" student; therefore my parents must prove state residency on my behalf. I lost both my parents to COVID last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 101

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 763

You deserved it 6 705