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This is OP, here to clear a few things up. For the person who asked, it was a male/female couple. He had pulled out a knife on the girl and that set the guy into attack mode or something, since he started punching my son in the face. The girl pushed him down and then the guy pinned him till the cops showed up. Yes, the call came from him asking for bail, which I did NOT post. He has been involved in illegal activities since he was 17, and this was the final straw. His trial starts in about a week (this happened about six months ago) and the prosecution is going for armed robbery. I hate to say it but I hope they get a conviction, he needs a wake up call. For those who posted supportive comments thank you, for those who blamed me, it is probably my fault for how I raised him. Hope this clears some things up. OP

By blenderbookf - 25/11/2010 18:33 - United States

Today, my dad was completely engrossed in a football game on TV, so, trying to be cute and funny, my mom flashed him. He didn't notice, but I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 062

You deserved it 3 203

By gettinghotinhere - 17/10/2014 18:29 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 855

You deserved it 6 890

By Anonymous - 07/08/2012 20:13 - Canada - Pierrefonds

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 666

You deserved it 3 537

Repetition

By DefinitelyNotMyMeds - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, just like everyday, I opened my med box, took out a blister pack and took one of the pills before putting the pack back in the box. Today, not like everyday, I had diarrhea. Turns out one of the packs was laxatives put in my med box by my boyfriend because they looked the same as my meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 438

You deserved it 414

By Anonymous - 13/09/2011 06:05 - United States

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 022

You deserved it 10 519

Pleased to meet you

By Hailey - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, while swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 954

You deserved it 3 245

By Anonymous - 03/12/2015 09:47 - United States - Tualatin

Today, I completed my two-month internship, where I have been working as hard as I could with the hope of being hired. My boss couldn't remember my name, and declined to be a reference. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 686

You deserved it 1 440

Incomprehensible

By Anonymous - 23/02/2020 18:00

Today, I arrived in Tokyo and went to stay overnight in a teeny airport cabin hotel with shared bathroom facilities. I used the little wicker baskets to put my clothes on and when I came out of the shower, I found someone had stolen my favorite top. Who steals dirty clothes?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 004

You deserved it 376

By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 19:51 - South Africa

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 842

You deserved it 3 110

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 21:07 - United States - Pensacola

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 241

You deserved it 8 211

By Lilragu97 - 26/07/2012 05:14 - United States - Exeter

Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 395

You deserved it 2 401

By fmlcops - 22/05/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, my car died on a major road, a cop pulled over to help, he offered to jump me, while doing so because my battery was so dead he told me to put the gas on the floor, I did and my car roared to life, he then pulled me over five feet from where my car died to give me a ticket for a loud exhaust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 312

You deserved it 5 481

He's just an asshole, then.

By Brokedogowner - 17/03/2017 16:46

Today, I spent $300 just to find out my dog likes to drink a lot of water and then pee everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 962

You deserved it 629

Morigyn tells us more.

Morigyn 9

Thursday 16 March 2017 18:45

This one's mine! Kind of weird to see it here. Anyway, the vet did several (pricey) tests to find out why my dog drinks so much and pees everywhere. The title pretty much nailed it, he's an asshole.

By wellfuckyoutoo - 24/11/2015 17:45 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, a close friend came over with her three-year-old son. The child used a crayon on the walls, flushed my money down the toilet, and threw up. My friend was seriously offended when I asked her to help me clean everything up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 776

You deserved it 1 776