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I went to respond, but accidentally clicked on the next FML. But long story short, it's not a jealousy issue. It's that I know the guy who won, know he's interested in me, and was considering going out with him before I got back with my boyfriend. Now I feel bad that he's dropped a few hundred dollars for a date with me, when I know he was hoping for it to be a real date (no, not talking sex, just a potential to lead to more dates), but at least kids are getting to have a merry Christmas, because of his donation.

Surprise!

By Idiot - 26/05/2019 02:00

Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 2 308

By Anonymous - 15/10/2010 00:25 - United States

Today, as I put my 4 year-old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 137

You deserved it 9 215

Teambuilding

By Anonymous - 06/10/2015 19:58 - United States - Macomb

Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 911

You deserved it 2 099

By anon - 10/06/2012 21:14 - United Kingdom - Romsey

Today, I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly like my ex-girlfriend. So now, whenever I shower, I'm showered with depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 376

You deserved it 5 122

The trap

By fuckendog - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Australia - Virginia

Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 294

You deserved it 56 262

By tiredstudent - 18/11/2016 13:56 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, an older lady loudly accused me of masturbating on the public bus. I simply had my eyes closed and was twirling my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 247

You deserved it 789

tiredstudent tells us more.

tiredstudent 10

Sunday 20 November 2016 1:12

OP here- I had my eyes closed on the bus because I'm a student who works a full time job and babysits my sister's children at night. I was tired. I was twirling the hair on my HEAD because I had recently gotten the time to get my hair cut . My other hand was on my purse which was beside me no where near that area. The lady ended up yelling other horrible things to other people on the bus and got kicked off.

Who are you?

By LCDRBrownHercules - 22/09/2015 01:44 - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, my 5-year-old daughter sobbed inconsolably on my return home from a several-month long deployment to the Middle East. I was touched by her reaction until she blurted out that she wasn't crying because she missed me, but because my shaved head looked scary ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 989

You deserved it 2 022

By fukinnature - 01/11/2016 07:27

Today, I was feeling stressed about some upcoming exams, so I went on a nice relaxing nature walk through the nearby bushland. I slipped off a rock and landed in knee-deep mud that claimed my shoe when I pulled my leg free. I'm even more stressed now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 051

You deserved it 926

By Failed Artist - 30/08/2015 04:49 - United States - Des Moines

Today, my family was cleaning out our basement when I noticed an empty wall. I asked my grandma if I could put a picture up. She replied, "I don't want your ugly drawings on the wall". I wasn't talking about my drawings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 980

You deserved it 1 753

By B.B - 07/10/2016 14:03 - United States - New York

Today, my husband brought me breakfast in bed. Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful and love him even more for the thought. But the only problem with breakfast in bed is that you have to eat what they bring you, even if it's bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 938

You deserved it 1 976

By rufus_t_firefly - 03/10/2016 18:48 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, a customer at work asked me to ring her a taxi. The phone number she gave me was for a company 250 miles away. The woman on the other end thought I was deranged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 015

You deserved it 894

rufus_t_firefly tells us more.

rufus_t_firefly 9

Tuesday 4 October 2016 14:45

Hi OP here. Basically I work in a houseware and DIY store and the customer was a bit awkward in the first place. As she was leaving she asked if I could ring her a taxi, and I said I could if she had the phone number. She gave me a business card with a number on which I rang but the lady on the other end hadn't heard of where I work so she asked what town I was in. When I told her I was in Leicester she told me she was in Cornwall which is right at the far south west of England. I don't know whether she thought I playing a prank or was some sort of idiot. The customer herself seemed surprised the number was for Cornwall so what she was doing with the business card I don't know. To top it all off after we told her we didn't have a local taxi number she went outside to ring her son. On her mobile phone.