By Anonymous - 06/02/2019 02:00
The Top
By meg__1798 - 09/12/2015 02:08 - United States - San Francisco
meg__1798 tells us more.
By NoBasement4U - 26/11/2015 20:24 - Canada - Medicine Hat
By Anonymous - 17/03/2017 19:00 - Australia - Perth
Peckish
By Bontempi - 19/07/2012 18:55 - France
By Adam Gordon - 30/03/2017 14:00
By CyberHex305 - 01/04/2017 16:00
By brokebitch - 09/05/2019 06:00
Fuel to the fire
By Why? - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Saint Charles
Precaution
By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia
Empty gesture
By Anonymous - 31/10/2015 05:44 - Canada - London
By I hear everything... - 22/04/2017 18:00
By eeh - 07/05/2009 14:45 - United States
By Liz - 30/04/2017 21:00 - Colombia - Bucaramanga
By notamonkey - 14/12/2016 17:24
notamonkey tells us more.
OP here, I didn't expect this to get posted so I made an account :) Your comments genuinely made me laugh! Since this got posted, here's some background for you: this happened to me two years ago, after I had worked for them for over a decade. While it wasn't the greatest job in the world, it felt like a calling to me. There's nothing I love more than making people (especially children) laugh. I later found out that they fired me because my boss wanted to impress his new girlfriend by giving her niece (who happens to be a chimp handler/animal trainer) a job. It was a small company and they couldn't afford to keep the both of us on, so I had to go :( But it's all good, I got lucky and found myself a similar job with better pay and benefits. :)
By althornton2462 - 12/10/2015 00:27 - United States - Hudson
By ftt - 06/12/2016 15:22
By Anonymous - 28/05/2013 16:51 - United States - Ozark
By Enslaved - 15/11/2016 08:40
By MedHistory - 15/09/2015 20:40 - Canada - Laval
Should've stayed home, basically
By SoftwareDev - 27/06/2017 02:00 - South Africa - Johannesburg
Stop right there
By wtfmama - 04/05/2013 12:51 - United States - Hudson
By Lulu - 16/07/2017 00:30
By Jim - 31/07/2019 04:00 - United States
By Anonymous - 25/09/2016 04:27 - United States - Cabot
By sweet pea - 22/09/2016 21:48 - Canada - Red Lake
A Dog's Love = Priceless
By Sudokori - 29/08/2017 20:00
By HoboWithACondom - 31/08/2019 16:01
Bad sandwich, bad week
By Anonymous - 07/09/2019 12:02 - Korea Republic of
It's not?
By 310 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
Keywords
Hey guys its me OP, To clarify, my mom told me that she was planning to do this only if the Heimlich maneuver did not work. I was choking on the chip pretty badly and could not breathe so she was thinking about the worst possible scenario. Luckily, I got it out and I am fine and no throats were cut. (This time). When she told me about her (bad) plan to perform a tracheotomy I told her about the scene with Sandra Bullock in The Heat and the dangers of doing one without training (and that TV does not count as training). I also may have mentioned that I would rather choke out and die than have my throat cut open with a steak knife on the kitchen floor.... Thanks for all of your comments! -OP