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I am the original poster. Several people (not from this website) suggested I sue. For $250, I got a lawyer to write a threatening letter to my previous employer. By the way, I worked in the accounting department for a beer distributor with about 80 locations in the midwest. The lawyer kept it vague since my employment was "at will," but did mention the Civil Rights Act hoping it might scare them a little since Civil Rights violations are bad for business reputations. Basically, I'd heard my old boss telling jokes about blacks, Hispanics, Polish people, etc. With me being Polish (half-Polish, but with a "ski" name), my attorney said it was the only possibility we had so long as we could get other people to say they'd heard him tell these jokes. It would show that he was prejudiced by nationality (national origin). I knew several of my co-workers had heard his jokes before and thought they were distasteful, but I wasn't sure they'd come forward since they were still employed there. We knew it was a long-shot, but for $250, I figured we'd try anyway and maybe they'd settle quickly and easily just to make me go away. I doubted that would happen, but I was thinking it was worth it if I could at least get a little money out of them to help my family make it through if I couldn't get another job for awhile. Anyway, the VP (the owner's son) actually called me to get details on what happened. I basically told him that my boss was always snotty with me and based on his jokes, it might be because I'm a "Pollack." Apparently, when my old boss filled out the paperwork for my termination, he wrote down that he fired me because of excessive tardiness (I have NEVER been late and, in fact, I was ALWAYS 30-45 minutes early even though I was salaried). I explained the situation from my perspective and the VP said he'd get back to me. Three days later, he called me and said that he personally looked into it. The electronic access cards we use to get into the building have a database that records when people come and go. It proved I had been EARLY and hadn't missed a day of work in the last 6 months (that's as far back as the records went). He said he also talked to my co-workers about my "level of character" and my old boss. Based on everything he found out, he fired my old boss for falsifying company documents (my termination papers). In the end, since I met all the qualifications for my boss's job, the VP offered it to me. It comes with a five year contract instead of "at will" employment and even better, it's a 20% pay increase. Finally, to seal the deal, they gave me an $8,000 signing bonus. I've decided not to sue and I start again on Monday! FML Rescinded.

OP here, don't know how to make this comment "OP Official" but anyway. I didn't download or torrent it, it was just a quick search. Apparently there's a huge industry for box office hit themed pornos. Our internet only opened up to a suddenlink page about the "copyright infringement" and all I had to do was check a box that we wouldn't do it again. Problem solved. Mild embarrassment, worth the laugh. And worth getting an FML published.

Hey guys OP here! I asked the little girl if that was her parents and she nodded but 911 told me they were still sending an officer to be 100% sure that everything was accurate. The parents completely understood and were totally fine because they were glad I cared and took action. :)