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Broke

By never-even-owned-a-car - 30/08/2020 17:02

Today, it's the tenth anniversary of me getting my driver's license. My record is perfect: no accidents, no tickets. Today is also the tenth anniversary of the last time I drove a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 532

Red or grey?

By Cherry - 11/02/2023 02:00

Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 1 410

The talk

By Anonymous - 18/01/2026 20:00

Today, I had to have a conversation with my husband about how my toes have gone numb from the diabetes that it's no longer sexy when he sucks my toes, because it just feels odd and uncomfortable to be honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 133

By BrianP - 07/07/2009 17:00 - Netherlands

Today, I came home to found all of my belongings out on the street. My roommate, who is also my brother, apparantly neglected to pay his part of the rent, and we got evicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 568

You deserved it 4 048

By anonymous - 21/01/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, I was bet 100 dollars that I couldn't break a piece off a brick with my head. I couldn't, and I have two gashes in my head now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 906

You deserved it 73 149

Keep your hands to yourself

By jackofbadtrades - 04/12/2021 08:01 - Canada - Bridgewater

Today, I was walking out of class when I saw one of my friends using the student printer. I'm a very playful person and like teasing and joking with people, so I snuck up behind her and started tickling her. I tickled her, before realizing that I had never met her in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 1 670

Unfair

By Anonymous - 06/07/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got screwed over by the justice system. I make just over £20,000 a year, my ex makes over £250,000. We share custody of our kids 50/50 and yet I’m the one paying her child support. Our kids are very well cared for; she doesn’t need that money. I survive on instant noodles and tap water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 162

Cloth ears

By Chad - 10/09/2020 10:02 - United States - Norfolk

Today, my hubby asked me what we were doing for dinner. He'd already asked me twice and each time I responded, he said, "Sounds good." He has no idea why I feel like he doesn't listen to me. He's been doing this shit for 12 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 564

You deserved it 354

Pissed

By Anonymous - 14/12/2021 05:01

Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 1 460

It's not me, it's you

By What dont I have - 19/02/2023 04:00

Today, my ex-boyfriend is moving to my hometown so he can be closer to his new girlfriend, my best friend. To pour lemon juice in the wound, he'd told me just 4 months earlier that he would never move to my hometown, thus ending our long-distance relationship of 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 148

By Username - 11/01/2011 09:45

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only with me because he's in love with my sister, who turned him down repeatedly, and I'm the closest he can now get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 997

You deserved it 3 499

Dramatic

By Anonymous - 28/01/2026 15:00

Today, while I was making a TikTok about motherhood, I accidentally dropped my 3-month-old baby. Upon learning what had happened, my understandably upset husband now won't talk to me, and I'm in the hospital on my knees, praying that my son makes it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 1 114

By brandon - 10/01/2011 17:04 - Canada

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to unlock my garage door. After shouting several profanities, my roommate walked up to me, turned the key the other way, and unlocked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 637

You deserved it 33 414

By mikey09 - 17/01/2010 05:37 - United States

Today, it was my first day at my new job, which requires you to wear a special shirt. Come to find out, they only have medium sized shirts. I'm an XL. They demanded I wear the shirt anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 666

You deserved it 9 305

Helper

By Anonymous - 02/02/2026 00:00

Today, a customer asked if we sold gift cards, and I confidently walked them to the rack... that had probably been empty for weeks. I stood there too long pretending to “look” while the customer waited politely. Eventually I said something dumb like, “We used to believe in them.” FM

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 347

By Anonymous - 10/09/2013 17:44 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I realized that it's become a regular occurrence for my mother and me to talk about our pubic hair. I don't know which is worse, the fact that I now know that she shaves it, or the fact that we even talk about this stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 183

You deserved it 13 925

Queasy

By Anonymous - 24/02/2023 18:00

Today, I tried being the 'cool parent' by taking my kids to a fancy, expensive amusement park, but ended up getting stuck on every ride and getting motion sickness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 347

What's the plan?

By Anonymous - 16/07/2024 00:00 - Canada - Capreol

Today, and for the last two weeks, my husband has been playing hide and go seek with the internet router and my iPad to, I guess, try and punish/annoy me. I keep finding them, use them when he’s not home, and put them back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 126

By VCDUDE11FTW - 25/12/2014 09:13 - United States - Lewis Center

Today, my brother and I woke up early to get a sneak peek at our Christmas presents. We found our parents having sex on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 654

You deserved it 16 385

By /(•'_'•)\ - 07/09/2013 16:59 - United States - Ballwin

Today, while working at Subway, I was about to take a guy's order. He quickly held up a hand and asked for someone else to make his sub, because he doesn't like "ugly people" touching his food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 932

You deserved it 3 848

By fmlifer - 04/11/2011 04:29 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek at school. I missed, and walked away awkwardly. Later on, a teacher stopped me and told me how bad I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 520

You deserved it 9 171

Mind your own beeswax

By Aiedail - 03/03/2023 00:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, after months of watching it brewing, my best friend, who I love dearly, slept with the girl I've disliked for almost as long. It’s not my place to be hurt, we’re not together, but the idea just fills my heart with hopelessness and sadness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 524

By Bahhumbug - 22/12/2014 14:24 - Australia - Perth

Today, I found out I was the top ranking sales person for 2014. What did last year's winner receive? An all-expenses paid weekend holiday. What did I receive? A ham. I'm vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 741

You deserved it 4 310

By Anonymous - 06/09/2013 11:55 - United States - Louisville

Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 629

You deserved it 2 897

Explain like they're 5 year-olds

By Anonymous - 05/09/2013 06:57 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, I was asked to dumb myself down so the people I was training could comprehend what I was saying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 787

You deserved it 7 023

****** around, found out

By Anonymous - 01/03/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I tried to decorate my coffee table by following a DIY project I found on Pinterest, but I ended up ruining it and now have to buy a new one instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 824

Blame bad TV plots

By The kids aren't alright - 14/02/2026 20:00

Today, I learned that my 11 year-old daughter wrote a love letter to her teacher. Cute, right? It was an incredibly graphic letter where she asked him to "abduct her and chain her up in his basement." I now must find her a new school and a therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 96

Doomscrolling

By Anonymous - 04/03/2023 00:00

Today, it's only when my mom knocked on the door and asked, "Are you alright in there?" that I realised that I had been scrolling through the same Instagram feed whilst sat on the toilet for an hour. My legs had gone numb and I'm pretty sure the toilet seat is forever engraved in my arse cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 1 149

By scars - 16/12/2014 15:01 - United States - Edwardsville

Today, my parents decided to "discipline" my kitten by spraying her with water. This somehow managed to completely un-train her, and now she's back to being the compulsive biter she was when I first brought her home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 894

You deserved it 3 672

CUT IT OUT!

By Anonymous - 06/03/2023 18:00

Today, I went to see a movie by myself and ended up sitting next to a couple on a first date, who spent the whole movie whispering to each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 170

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The Top

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 251

You deserved it 11 930

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 51

Random

Today, my house flooded. Hundreds of dollars worth of art supplies, multiple video game systems, academic awards from middle school, birthday cards from my deceased grandfather; it's all gone. What remained untouched? The cat's litter box, which somehow floated. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 15 265

You deserved it 1 122

Today, my brothers thought it would be funny to put me inside a huge luggage bag we got for a trip to Canada. It was all fun and games until they dragged me outside, kicked me down a few steps, and left me stuck in the bag, locked outside with the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 894

You deserved it 1 657

Today, I went to see a movie I'd been waiting months for. A couple of women sat down a few rows in front of me with five infants. The infants cried and wailed throughout. I'm not sure I have any idea what was actually said in any of the dialogue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 406

You deserved it 3 176

Today, my husband invited a couple of his college friends over for dinner. While we were in the middle of eating, one of them asked loudly, "Hey, whatever happened to that fat bitch you dated in your third year?" We've been dating since his second year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 773

You deserved it 3 902

Today, I was hit by an unmanned semi truck that rolled down an embankment onto the highway. I'm fine, but the entire left side of my car is smashed in. The idiot responsible had to be dragged down the hill by the cops. Apparently, he was peeing and forgot to put the parking brake on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 442

You deserved it 315

Today, I envy all the mothers who get to hide in their bathroom, engulfed in tears, when at their breaking points. I'm a single mom of two heathens. Today, like most days, really I had to threaten violence at the top of my lungs so they would stop fighting long enough for me to simply use the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 178

You deserved it 520