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By LetsMakeLove - 10/06/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I went to the game with my boss and some people he does business with on his tab. I got so drunk that I blacked out, threw up all over the table, and passed out in the bathroom. I woke up alone with my body reeking of vomit, and no phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 544

You deserved it 76 946

Hard times

By Anonymous - 09/02/2022 06:00 - United States - Battle Creek

Today, after 3 days of insomnia, I was able to finally fall asleep, just for there to be a fire in the apartment building about 15 minutes later. My mom called me selfish for waking her up in the middle of the night to ask if I could stay with her, and told me I better not rent a hotel room with the money I owe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 121

The cycle begins

By seriously? - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Pickerington

Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 155

You deserved it 5 011

Paranoid

By StillBetterThanTwilight - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 888

You deserved it 2 669

Control

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 10:00 - Philippines - Naga

Today, I dated my friend’s ex-crush, but she was mad about it. I know about "Girl Code" but the thing is they never dated, so it didn’t count. She’s also in a relationship now with a different dude, so either she hasn't moved on from him or she feels possessive of him. Now I "don’t belong" to their friend group anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 219

Nearly there

By Pete - 09/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I was on a video call with my grandmother, trying to teach her how to use Facebook. I patiently explained the difference between posting a status and sending a private message. Five minutes later, I saw her new status: “I love you, honey. Thanks for being so patient with me. By the way, I still don’t understand this shit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 119

Fresh

By Anonymous - 18/04/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I decided to get a haircut to change up my look. I asked for a bob, but the hairstylist misunderstood and gave me some sort of bowl cut. I look like a '90s sitcom character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 194

By missTyfied - 25/08/2012 19:11 - Philippines - Sucat

Today, I had to hunt down and collect a stray dog's feces for my parasitology class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 212

You deserved it 3 518

By lostlove - 01/10/2011 02:57 - United States

Today, I was trying to find my first message on Facebook. As I was reaching the bottom, I saw a message from my old crush. It contained a paragraph confessing her love for me and asking me to write back. Don't know how I missed that one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 219

You deserved it 7 816

Blackmail

By Soefingbroke - 05/02/2022 10:01

Today, I have to choose between paying the mortgage or paying my brother the hush money for him knowing about the affair I had with his friend. He made it clear that if I miss a single payment, he'll tell my wife everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 3 136

Freedom

By heartbroken - 17/04/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, I’m devastated that I had to completely sever all ties with my mother. She’s a hyper religious zealot who’s gone as far as to threaten to kidnap my children in order to get them baptized after I refused to raise them in her archaic, abusive, oppressive cult-like “church”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 193

You deserved it 169

Hang in there

By Jhmmm - 14/04/2026 12:00 - United States - Waterbury

Today, I found out my biological twin sister has a rare type of cancer. What also sucks is that I might have it as well, and I will get tested to find out soon. I’m so scared. I’m in my thirties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 55

Repressed

By Anonymous - 21/04/2023 22:00

Today, my mother-in-law keeps making fun of how I've "never seen any cool movies." I grew up in severe social isolation/constant physical abuse, and have memory loss from age 13 and below as a result. I've seen them, I just can't remember them, but she refuses to believe it, so I'll never hear the end of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 108

What in the world…?

By May - 17/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I noticed I was overcharged at a fast food place, so I asked the cashier to correct it. He got an attitude, so I asked for the manager. The next thing I know, some dude shoved me, yelling, "Shut the fuck up Karen." I fell and hit my head. People in line laughed and cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 119

By Anonymous - 28/09/2011 16:30 - United States

Today, while at work in the service department of a car dealership, I sat in the driver seat of an old man's car to get the mileage. He'd just pissed in the seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 472

You deserved it 2 654

Fun fun fun

By BeautifulDisastre - 23/12/2009 10:24 - United States

Today, I drove the six hours to LA to attend my Uncle's birthday party. When I tried to get off at the exit, it took me two hours just to get onto the street where the club was. By the time I showed up, the party was already over, so I ended up going to a Denny's. I drove eight hours for a Denny's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 567

You deserved it 4 785

Bad times

By Day - 21/01/2022 02:01

Today, I got an email stating that my scholarship request was denied, 51 days after applying with no response. I'm now forced to drop-out from my college degree because I ran out of money, and I've been unsuccessful at finding a job for two years either, thanks to Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 353

You deserved it 238

Sugar Sugar

By WTF - 22/04/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I learned that the waffle machine at my local hotel has sugar-free bottles of syrup… and that the machine that conveniently dispenses syrup for you which is NOT sugar-free. This is exactly why Americans are stereotyped as being so unhealthy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 737

Great expectations

By No Expectations No Disappointments - 18/09/2024 14:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, my dad and his buddies were hanging out. One of them said to my dad, "Hey! I've heard your son wants to be a doctor! He he he! You better start saving up!" My dad then triumphantly responded, "PAH!!! No problem there. He's an idiot! He probably won't make it to premed!" And yes, he was sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 120

By Anonymous - 06/06/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 258

You deserved it 45 110

Tree trunks

By AloneAtPerkins - 18/11/2020 20:02 - United States - West Bend

Today, I shaved my legs. It's been so long since I've shaved that my razor broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 368

Thrifty

By Viscerion - 24/04/2023 00:00 - Australia

Today, even though I recently started earning $75000 per year, my partner still got angry at me because I spent $10 online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 134

Worst friend

By Cass - 20/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my best friend announced that he has a girlfriend now and we’ll be interacting less often. When I protested, he said, “Why are you acting like this? You rejected me when I asked you to be my girlfriend and told me we were just friends, did you not?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 911

By Nudge23 - 26/09/2011 07:26 - Australia

Today, I cleared out the messages in my voicemail. Of the 50+ messages, most were from my mother wanting to know when I'd be home. I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 845

You deserved it 4 665

By Anonymous - 03/12/2010 03:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he can't remember the last time he took a shower. He then told me he doesn't see the "need" of taking showers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 217

You deserved it 4 950

By fml333 - 21/12/2009 19:26 - Saudi Arabia

Today, I was hanging out with my ex's new girlfriend. I found out he was dating us both at the same time and was comparing between us. That is why he broke up with me two years ago and is still with her ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 641

You deserved it 3 885

I CAN HEAR YOU

By Anonymous - 21/11/2020 20:02 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, as usual, my flatmate is so loud when talking face to face that my ears and head rattle. I can't say anything because how dare I suggest there's anything wrong with my roommate's hearing. Yet nobody else talks this loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 159

IBS?

By Anonymous - 27/04/2023 06:00

Today, I went on a hike. About two miles into the five mile trail, my stomach started to bubble and I realized there were no bathrooms nearby. My only options were to literally shit my pants or shit in a bush. Well, I shit in the bush and had no tissue to wipe. I hate having stomach issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 160

By NoNaMe - 04/06/2009 08:07 - Australia

Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 651

You deserved it 75 237

"Your degree will open so many doors"

By Lewis - 18/12/2018 00:30

The way I live determined, that was a lie!

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 116

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The Top

Random

Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 253

You deserved it 5 919

Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless man giggling hysterically to himself while wiping boogers on my bike seat and handlebars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 381

You deserved it 3 738

Today, after burning all my past-papers, books and notes in celebration of finishing maths forever, I found out I have to re-take my maths exam to get the minimum grade for college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 255

You deserved it 50 613

Today, on Facebook, I realized I had over 500 friends. I told my one friend and she changed her status to, "How can Dan have over 500 Facebook friends? Nobody even likes him." It got 42 likes and twenty comments that basically said, "Agreed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 881

You deserved it 12 370

Today, I sent my sister a text about how fat I was becoming and looking as disgusting as my ex-husband. When I checked to see if she had received it I saw that I had accidentally sent it to my ex-father in law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 780

You deserved it 26 757

Today, the war against the pigeons on my veranda reached a new level. To try and get them to clear off, I gave my window pane a short, sharp knock. It broke into several shards, and not one of the totally oblivious birds moved. Pigeons 1, Me 0. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 081

You deserved it 6 081