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By vdm - 17/08/2014 05:21

Today, my wife was talking to our 9 month-old baby. “Your father really is an example.” I smiled, feeling proud, but then she added, “and not a really good one.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 82

By FourKnees - 15/05/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I accepted an internship in Chicago and finished my final exams. I decided to play some pick up basketball one last time before summer. Within 2 minutes I got undercut going for a rebound and shattered my knee cap into 3 pieces. My summer in Chicago will be spent in a full leg cast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 398

You deserved it 4 239

By guiltnazan - 06/09/2014 19:29 - United States - Superior

Today, I looked at a girl's profile on a dating website, and it told her I'd visited it. Later on, she sent me a message. It said: "Don't even think about it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 669

You deserved it 3 804

guiltnazan tells us more.

guiltnazan 23

Sunday 7 September 2014 16:13

Thanks for all the encouraging replies everyone. I decided to just not let her get to me and just move on with my life. #18: I think that anyone who needs to put down others and rejecting them to get an ego boost in any situation is just not a person I would want to spend any amount of time with. #25: That is an awesome idea and I should have used it!

By Nomoreballs - 10/07/2012 23:10 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 765

You deserved it 6 453

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 07:25 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 424

You deserved it 26 416

By Tarzan - 25/04/2016 15:35 - The Jungle

Today, due to intense deforestation, my wife Jane and I have to take several transfer vines to get to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 45

Hank Pecker

By Anonymous - 19/06/2013 15:29 - United States - Richmond

Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 214

You deserved it 3 624

By Anonymous - 08/07/2012 05:18 - United States - Seattle

Today, my wife told me she'd rather bust up concrete than get it on with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 828

You deserved it 3 954

By Des - 11/05/2019 18:00

Today, it’s been 3 weeks since I had an interview for an internship this summer. I’ve applied to over 40 internships over the past 6 months, and this was the only interview I’ve had. I banked my entire summer on this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 718

You deserved it 347

By vishuzzbabe77 - 22/08/2011 06:04 - United States

Today, I bought a Halloween costume for my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 451

You deserved it 41 686

Paternity test before the rest

By Anonymous - 27/01/2021 08:01 - United States

Today, after always laughing when my mom told me to avoid dating any guy with green eyes and thinking it was some weird prejudice, she told me the truth. My father cheated and had at least six other kids. They all have green eyes and look alike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 95

He studied the blade

By Anonymous - 29/06/2023 00:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my 9 year-old managed to break the padlock on my display cabinet, take out my entire sword collection, run to the garden making lightsaber noises, and bash them on trees and a stone wall. They are ruined. One of them has a crack that has damn near snapped it in two. I want to weep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 413

By newswithabitofbite - 28/08/2014 10:31 - Australia - Richmond

Today, while walking to work, I found out what it feels like to be hit in the face by a rolled up newspaper thrown from the window of a moving car by a paper boy doing his rounds. It hit hard enough to give me a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 882

You deserved it 3 232

Drunken ramblings

By VHgolf1989 - 30/03/2022 12:00

Today, as usual, my mother had wine when she has the next day off. Three bottles deep, she started talking about an Indian burial ground that haunts the house, and she knows this because they talk to her in her dreams, so she is right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 120

Flight from Hell

By Anonymous - 04/07/2023 18:00

Today, I was sat next to a screaming baby on a 9-hour flight. Now before anyone has a go at me, I am in no way blaming the baby, I’m blaming the mother with her makeup hair and nails done perfectly, with her AirPods on, staring at her phone, and ignoring her screaming child the full 9 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 112

What the…?

By ohbiebjetaime - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - France

Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 376

You deserved it 3 364

Classic TSA FML

By Anonymous - 20/03/2022 09:59

Today, out of my mom, dad, and my siblings, I was the only one selected for a “random” extra check at the airport. My parents are English and my siblings were adopted from France and Scotland, and are all white. My bio parents were Pakistani, and I'm nutbrown and I was the only “random” search. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 227

By Anonymous - 11/06/2013 16:11 - United States - Barrington

Today, I decided to try wearing eyeshadow, even though I'm not that girly. When I asked for help after several failed attempts, my sister walked in and said, "It's easy, just do what I do." She put the makeup on herself and looked amazing. She's eight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 009

You deserved it 6 856

Karma

By yeahImgreat - 12/05/2022 14:00 - Netherlands

Today, after three months of going back and forth between staying with my boyfriend and leaving him for someone else, I finally made the decision to go for the other guy. When I told him, he admitted to never seeing himself with me, as he "doesn't do cheaters." FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 2 640

Happy Frustrating 4th of July!

By Anonymous - 05/07/2023 07:00

Today, my wife won't let me light one my fireworks off early. I'm a grown man, darn it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 1 042

By TheAngryBird - 28/06/2012 04:51 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a graduation gift: a new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 445

You deserved it 2 726

By Anonymous - 24/10/2010 04:37 - United States

Today, I had two 100's and two singles in my wallet. The two 100's was for my electric bill and the two singles were for the bus. Once I got off the bus and to the electric company, I noticed only my singles were there. Turns out I paid the bus driver $200. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 100

You deserved it 40 511

By Rejected. - 22/11/2009 17:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend of one year when an attractive girl walks over. She asks him, "Is this your girlfriend?" He replied "That depends... are you single?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 430

You deserved it 3 946

So that makes it alright?

By Boundaries - 04/02/2021 11:01

Today, I confronted my boyfriend that I found his “hidden” Tinder profile and his horny messages between him and other girls. His response? “Babe, that was a month ago.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 141

Pumped and dumped

By Anonymous - 08/12/2024 09:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I found out that my boyfriend lost a bunch of money by buying some scam cryto crap linked to that "Hawk tuah" girl. Easiest break-up ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 139

Many such cases!

By Dementia?? - 17/07/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked into a room and completely forgot why I was there. I then left, remembered why, walked back in, and immediately forgot again. I'm beginning to wonder if I need to undergo cognitive tests or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 77

Risky business

By Anonymous - 25/05/2019 06:13

Today, I called in sick to my job. I'm already on shaky ground there, but I was honestly sick. I happened to call in during the mandatory departmental meeting. Apparently, I was supposed to go in a half-hour early. I called in thirty minutes late, during a required meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 587

You deserved it 1 192

By anonymous - 14/08/2011 01:17 - United States

Today, my 14-year-old son was terrified of going into the water near our house, because he was scared of having his leg bitten off by a shark. We live by a lake. I tried explaining why it couldn't happen, but he just cowered behind a beach towel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 193

You deserved it 4 823

Strauss would've been proud

By Jobless - 26/03/2022 14:00

Today, at a company event, there was a break. The Blue Danube was playing. Bored, I absentmindedly start singing, “My butt is ugly” to the melody. I forgot that my mic was on and the whole auditorium heard. Not only was I sent home, but my boss wants to “discuss” it on Monday at the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 1 179

By Anonymous - 05/05/2009 10:32 - United States

Today, I was insulted online by a teenager, who said that I was probably a fat loser who still lives with their mother and a couple of cats. They were right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 248

You deserved it 58 367

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The Top

Today, while reading the newspaper, I noticed that an ad had been placed for my job. I asked my boss for a week off so that I could fly home for my father's funeral. No wonder she was so cool with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 183

You deserved it 762

Today, after evicting my roommate for excessively not abiding by the lease agreements, he thought he could get back at me by sending me a video of my sister giving him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 762

You deserved it 1 556

Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 102

You deserved it 3 574

Today, my apartment was robbed by my landlord. Her logic? "I own the building, and therefore everything in it." That TV cost more than my rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 993

You deserved it 2 808

Today, my boyfriend of two years told his friend that he decided a long time ago that he would never be faithful to a woman. I was sitting next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 115

You deserved it 3 369

Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 049

You deserved it 3 009