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By Anonymous - 21/01/2010 14:29 - Canada

Today, I was the only girl in my lab class. The instructor was learning our names. When he came to me, I went to say "mine will be easy" and it came out as "I'm easy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 928

You deserved it 31 027

Bye then!

By B.. - 01/09/2020 23:00

Today, my girlfriend, after 9 months of coffee shop dates and sharing bottles of wine, relaxing, expressing our love for each other, decided it was time to end our relationship by telling me that she actually wasn't happy, and had her and all of her friends and family block me on every social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 778

You deserved it 231

Mr Whiskers takes priority

By Anonymous - 07/12/2021 16:58

Today, my daughter forgot my birthday. When I asked her, she said she'd remembered my birthday, but was too busy at work to acknowledge it. However, she did have time to post a message on Facebook, wishing a happy birthday to her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 140

By FeelingFatastic - 05/01/2015 06:08 - United States

Today, my coworker asked me if I was on a diet for my New Year's resolution. When I said no, she replied, "Why not?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 519

You deserved it 4 390

By Anonymous - 18/09/2013 14:57 - United States

Today, the Internet wasn't working. One girl decided to try to diagnose the problem. It said to connect the Ethernet cable. She started making fun of the computer for spelling "Internet" wrong. I'm graduating with this idiot in less than a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 701

You deserved it 3 238

By sadness - 12/10/2012 02:48 - United States - Metairie

Today, the guy I'm dating came into the same restaurant where I was eating. He was with a girl. He sat at the table next to mine and didn't even bother to say, "Hi." I guess I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 432

You deserved it 2 296

Always check!

By Anonymous - 17/02/2023 12:00 - United States - Bayonne

Today, after eating some fire noodles the day before, I took a nice long poop in my school's bathroom, only to find out there was no toilet paper left in any of the stalls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 239

By blzrdsgrl - 16/09/2013 00:43 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended like it never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 354

You deserved it 3 576

blzrdsgrl tells us more.

blzrdsgrl 9

Monday 16 September 2013 23:38

Turns out...she thought I was joking because "I'm never serious"...

Snitched

By Anonymous - 12/11/2011 14:19 - United States

Today, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 442

You deserved it 7 453

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 05:31 - Canada

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 282

You deserved it 6 629

Flipping off

By Anonymous - 04/07/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, I went swimming with this guy I like at dammed river. While we were jumping off the dam, I decided to try to impress him by doing a front flip. I didn't jump far enough off, so when I went to flip, my face skidded down the concrete wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 886

You deserved it 44 927

Crushing Hard

By FML Videos - 07/10/2018 00:30 - United States - New York

Crushed it! (The bag of groceries, of course.)

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 230

On the beat

By Anonymous - 10/09/2020 23:02 - Greece - Thessaloniki

Today, in my orchestra, I was one of the 2 instruments that starts first. The conductor raised his hands, but while I was waiting for the preparatory beats, I blinked. When I opened my eyes, the conductor had already started. I started late, in front of a thousand people. The conductor is still angry with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 576

We meet again

By Anonymous - 19/02/2023 06:00 - Germany

Today, I waited months for a specialist doctor’s appointment, only to find out that it's the same guy I already saw for the same problem years ago, who was at his wit's end after seeing nothing wrong on the x-ray, and had no clue as to what might be causing my pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 170

By cakestar9 - 31/12/2014 19:39 - Ireland - Ennis

Today, I went to a club to celebrate New Year's Eve. A cute guy came up to me at the bar and asked my name. I thought my 8 year long dry spell was finally about to end. I smiled and said "Chrissy!" He said "That's a whore's name!" and wandered back off into the crowd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 542

You deserved it 3 569

By Nicoli - 10/11/2011 18:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of five years was in a bad car crash, and ended up with a concussion. He didn't remember me. At all. But he remembered his other girlfriend he had cheated on me with for two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 946

You deserved it 4 004

By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 05:32 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom and my pee split into 4 different streams, none of which actually hit the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 030

You deserved it 7 025

Tour van aroma

By Anonymous - 30/12/2014 04:17 - United States - Richardson

Today, our band had a road trip. Two people chose to stack themselves on top of each other to share a seat rather than sit in the last seat next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 040

You deserved it 3 296

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 07:09 - United States

Today, trying to be cute, my boyfriend threw a snowball at me. This would have been fine had it not been hard enough to break my glasses. As a college student, I have to choose between eating for the next two weeks or replacing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 982

You deserved it 2 990

By Anonymous - 11/09/2013 14:16 - United States - Portland

Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 608

You deserved it 7 127

By sketchball - 05/10/2012 14:56 - United States

Today, my landlord informed me that from now on, she'd prefer if I paid my rent in cash each month. Apparently, I "look sketchy" and she didn't "ever want to deal with the hassle of a bounced check." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 625

You deserved it 2 289

By VeeDubDisaster - 17/01/2010 02:35 - United States

Today, I went to start my just bought '79 VW bus. I put my key in but stopped due to the strong gasoline smell. I went to check. Found puddle of gas. The previous owner figured duct taping a cracked tank was the same as fixing it. And didn't bother to share that tidbit with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 336

You deserved it 28 538

Clusterfuck

By WhyEvenBother - 16/12/2021 04:59 - Germany

Today, I just learned that instead of celebrating my birthday as a small group, my mother has invited dozens of family members from all over the Germany, amidst spiking Covid cases in my region. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 198

By Anonymous - 10/09/2013 07:35 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 144

You deserved it 3 827

By nonfreehugs - 04/10/2012 05:09 - United States - Seattle

Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 735

You deserved it 2 535

Bad boy

By Shiva - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 806

You deserved it 9 681

Man *****

By Anonymous - 03/12/2021 07:58

Today, I found out I’m going to be a father, twice over, with two different women. Sisters, in fact. Only one of those sisters is my wife. Should I flee abroad, or walk calmly towards the firing squad straight away? FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 4 876

By Anonymous - 29/04/2013 07:25 - France

Today, I wanted revenge on my college's drinks machine. For the past two days, it forgot to release a cup before pouring my coffee. This time, I had planned ahead; I put my money in, entered the code, and quickly inserted my own cup. It gave me hot water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 153

You deserved it 6 305

Turned off

By Anonymous - 27/02/2023 00:00 - United States - Ingleside

Today, my boyfriend texted me a video of him having sex with a girlfriend he was screwing before we met. He thought it would turn me on; instead I am completely repulsed, and it will probably will haunt me for the remainder of our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 907

You deserved it 259

By areyoukiddingme - 07/09/2013 04:50 - United States

Today, I got yelled at by my mom for not being surprised enough at my surprise birthday party. She'd told me about it while drunk the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 456

You deserved it 3 275

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The Top

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 196

You deserved it 4 707

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 374

You deserved it 5 382

Today, I found out that the piece of vacant land I purchased for $20,000 is illegal to build a house on, due to acreage restrictions. Thank you, realtor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 592

You deserved it 5 699

Today, I spent over $160 and 2 hours preparing for a Halloween party I was throwing. The only person who showed up was my sister, who helped me decorate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 159

You deserved it 4 334

Today, I'm staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 460

You deserved it 2 698

Today, none of us had any idea that our grandfather was a huge racist until I brought my new girlfriend over to a family gathering, and he started yelling because she's Indian, some of the most disgusting racial slurs I’ve ever heard. We left when it looked like he might actually hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 344

You deserved it 149