Spicy

By AVeryConfusedGuy - 11/05/2017 22:00

Today, I was having sex with a girl and she passed out about a minute in. I panicked and thought she'd died so I tried to feel for a heartbeat. She woke up 45 seconds later and accused me of fondling her breasts while she was out. Apparently she has narcolepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 830

You deserved it 622

By zemmiphobia - 11/05/2017 09:37 - United States - Mountain View

Today, my sister admitted to having sex with her current boyfriend. On my bed. Again. I even have a spare bed in my room and yet they still go for mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 557

You deserved it 760

zemmiphopia tells us more.

zemmiphopia 4

Friday 12 May 2017 3:17

Woah okay was not expecting this to get published. I'm OP. Okay so first off my sister and I are really close and always have been so she's been forgiven and we can joke about it now. And secondly, we were both pretty amused by the suggestions of ways to get her back, I think my favorite is "punch her in the head". And I would totally buy a lock if I could, by the way.

By caesarinozeppeli - 11/05/2017 16:00

Today, after ordering it four weeks ago, I finally got the expensive figurine that I'd been wanting. Also today, my brother jizzed onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 182

You deserved it 415

By Nessa - 10/05/2017 15:00 - United States - Pomona

Today, my mom got out a camcorder she's had a while, saying that there were tapes of me from when I was a child. The first tape I put in was a porno starring her and her ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 730

You deserved it 561

Man City

By EpicBunBun - 10/05/2017 18:00

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, I thought he went to change the music on his phone. He'd actually stopped mid-action just to check sports scores. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 296

You deserved it 724

By GoldenTornado11 - 10/05/2017 14:00

Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 203

You deserved it 569

By Ackno - 06/05/2017 16:00

Today, I was having sex with my husband when the pores on his forehead triggered my trypophobia. We had to stop before I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 109

You deserved it 1 779

By Anonymous - 06/05/2017 02:20

Today, as I was pulling out of my apartment complex, I was rear-ended. When I got out of my car to see how bad the damage was, I wondered why the other guy wasn't getting out of his. As it turns out, he was busy pleasing himself. I found out when I approached his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 978

You deserved it 465

Never again

By Anonymous - 05/05/2017 02:00

Today, I had to pick up my brother and his girlfriend from the bar at 2:00am because they were too drunk to drive themselves and had no money for an Uber. Five minutes into the ride, they started going at it in the back of my car. I don't think I'll be doing favors again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 715

You deserved it 537

By Anonymous - 26/04/2017 04:00

Today, after not showering with my boyfriend in 3 months, he called me in to the bathroom and asked me to shower with him. After getting excited and ripping my clothes off, I get in and he asks me to wash his hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 727

You deserved it 897

By usarmywife - 17/04/2017 02:00

Today, at the ripe old age of 27, I dislocated my hip while making love to my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 203

You deserved it 606

By Anonymous - 14/04/2017 00:00

Today, working midnight at a coffee shop, I had a customer set down his phone on the counter to pay. Screen up. Still playing his, "Ebony Rimjob" porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 379

You deserved it 404

Perv

By WhyMe - 09/04/2017 22:00

Today, at work, a customer was staring at me for a long time. Hoping to break the awkwardness, I asked him what brought him to the store today. He complimented me on my friendly demeanor, then followed up with, "Since you're so friendly, how about coming in the bathroom with me and giving me a hand?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 421

You deserved it 396

By comics over coatis - 04/04/2017 12:00

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me for starting to give him oral sex because I wasn't paying attention to the Marvel movie he was showing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 410

You deserved it 2 572

Hott

By disturbedgd - 03/04/2017 20:00 - South Africa - Durban

Today, I had my first steamy wet dream. It involved the Power Rangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 192

You deserved it 1 116

By Crabby - 30/03/2017 17:00 - United Kingdom - Clitheroe

Today, I had to face up to telling the cute guy I just split up with that I have also probably given him pubic lice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 424

You deserved it 6 324

By DemCherries - 28/03/2017 15:00 - United States - Overland Park

Today, at my job as a police officer, I had to arrest my own girlfriend for having sex at Walmart. She tried to get me to let her out on the grounds of being "pretty" and dating me. She wants to continue the relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 316

You deserved it 570

By offrampmotel - 28/03/2017 14:00

Today, my 4-year-old son discovered that he really likes masturbating. So much in fact, that he took pictures of it with my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 412

You deserved it 752

That escalated quickly

By Belgian girl - 22/03/2017 19:00 - United States - Lewes

Today, I became my one night stand's shrink as he went through the process of realising he might be bisexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 398

You deserved it 722

Choices, Choices...

By FeelingAwkward - 20/03/2017 10:19

Today, I have the option of staying downstairs and having to listen to my father have sex with his girlfriend, or moving upstairs and having to listen to my brother's side of cybersex with his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 536

You deserved it 742

Born2Goth tells us more.

Born2Goth 18

Saturday 18 March 2017 2:01

Hey this is mine, I didn't realize it got published. I don't actually live at my dad's house, I was just visiting. So I don't really have any friends there and It was really late at night so I didn't really have anywhere else to go. The only headphones I had were not at all noise canceling, even when playing loud music. I did end up moving upstairs but that's only because that's where I was sleeping. IT was pretty awkward lol.