Spicy

Erection for Protection

By zingle af - 26/07/2017 20:00

Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 584

You deserved it 641

By Anon - 23/07/2017 05:00

Today, I went camping. The night was calm and quiet, so we went to our separate tents to sleep. I closed my eyes, listening to the distant waves and my father playing porn in the tent beside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 190

You deserved it 478

By are you kidding me - 22/07/2017 20:03

Today, I learned the venue owner and producer for the musical I'm in is under criminal investigation. What for? Three separate sexual assault incidents and putting cameras in our dressing rooms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 639

You deserved it 330

By Anonymous - 22/07/2017 05:29 - United States - Irving

Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 223

You deserved it 1 287

Time for Family Counseling?

By "asperix" - 18/07/2017 15:50

Today, my drunk brother told me he has an incest fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 275

You deserved it 724

asperix tells us more.

asperix 20

Tuesday 18 July 2017 0:52

alright, so i posted this about 5 minutes after he told me at a party. the day after he explained that hes kinda in love with my sister-in-law and thats what drunken him means by incest fetish. i know that she also have feelings for him... not sure wether i should help them or run away.

Mom Jokes FTW

By Embarrassed Daughter - 18/07/2017 08:26 - United States - Erlanger

Today, as we were going through airport security, my mom tried to joke with the person searching her bag, saying, "Just don't take out my vibrator!" She practically shouted it for the whole line to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 384

You deserved it 378

How to start explaining this…?

By Anonymous - 18/07/2017 00:30

Today, I came home to find my mom in my apartment packing my things and crying. When she saw me, she threw her arms around me and explained through her tears that she caught my girlfriend cheating on me and that she was sorry. My girlfriend and I are in an open relationship. I had to explain that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 529

You deserved it 2 772

Brain Bleach Please!

By yepi'mblindnow - 13/07/2017 11:48

Today, my mom asked me to back up her phone. When I downloaded all of her pictures and checked to make sure they were all saved, I accidentally saw the topless photos she's been sexting my dad. I can erase the files, but not the images in my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 734

You deserved it 795

blackbird8 tells us more.

blackbird8 10

Tuesday 11 July 2017 22:03

OP here. Update: my mom asked me to back up her phone again this weekend :O Since she saves everything on her phone she doesn't have enough storage for updates, so I have to back up and clear her phone fairly frequently. This weekend she told me she needed me to back up her phone AGAIN...I politely declined. And then had to explain to her why #AWKWARD. It's not the fact that they're boobs (duh, I have boobs; 50% of the world has boobs) it's that they're sexts. Also, she took them at work. Apparently my parents have a wild side.

By Alycat - 08/07/2017 14:29

Today, as it's my birthday, I was hoping for a nice present from my boyfriend. What did he get me? A PornHub account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 966

You deserved it 867

Wrong, just wrong

By Anonymous - 02/07/2017 10:00 - China - Chengdu

Today, while licking maple syrup off my wife during foreplay, I probably shouldn't have referred to her breasts as pancakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 725

You deserved it 7 325

Thanks, Burgess

By singingintherain - 01/07/2017 20:00

Today, ever since my boyfriend has seen A Clockwork Orange, he always suggests that we have sex by asking, "How about a little of the good old in-out-in-out?" and refers to his genitals as, "Yarbles". He seriously doesn't understand why this turns me off every time and our sex life has sunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 264

You deserved it 765

By porn daddy - 21/06/2017 00:00

Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 106

You deserved it 449

Doggy dog world

By FidoForever - 20/06/2017 22:00

Today, my wife and I had to rush our dog to the vet for a $700 emergency surgery. The x-ray showed that he had eaten a vibrating cock ring. I've never bought or owned one, so now I've got to deal with the vet bill and lawyer's fees for my soon-to-be ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 992

You deserved it 635

By elrjay - 20/06/2017 02:00 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I'm laying in my holiday apartment with the patio doors open, listening to the german man next door take dirty pics of his wife on the balcony. I'm too scared to get up and shut the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 086

You deserved it 1 070

By Hmm - 06/06/2017 16:19

Today, I gave a coworker a lift to the next town over town catch a train. When I picked him up, he was wasted, and halfway there he asked me to pull over so he could puke. He managed not to blow chunks, but crapped his pants in the process. He left a stain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 072

You deserved it 514

Dr.Pickles tells us more.

Dr.Pickles 10

Sunday 4 June 2017 22:40

OP here, i did finally get the stain removed!! I think I went through 7 layers of shock when this all happened , but I couldn't kick him out of the truck. He was on his way to his mom's funeral. Thankfully I will leave that job before he returns from his travels. No awkward moments here, and I'll definitely be avoiding his calls. It definitely made me question doing so much for others but I'd do it again.