Miscellaneous: Zargon 3000 - FML

Zargon 3000

By gorgeousgirl - 12/03/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was called gorgeous for the first time in 4 years. By a robot. A female robot. Who was trying to sell me cosmetics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 479

You deserved it 3 063

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Same thing different taste

Take it where you can

By charapos - 26/10/2021 11:00

Today, I got called beautiful for the first time in forever. The lady who called me beautiful was herself very pretty and VERY drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 156

Never speakerphone in public

By Sarah - 01/10/2025 12:00

Today, my phone rang with an unknown number. I answered in my professional “customer service” voice: “Hello, this is Sarah, how may I help you?” It was my mom, who immediately said, “Why are you talking like a robot? Did you get fired again?” I was on speakerphone at the grocery store checkout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 399

By shinoza - 13/02/2009 15:02 - Malaysia

Today, for the first time in months, I got a call from a beautiful girl asking me what I was doing tonight. Then my battery died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 581

You deserved it 8 390

By kimosabe - 02/03/2009 19:58 - United States

Today, at work a woman came up to the check out counter and when I greeted her she said "oh honey, you are so beautiful!" I immediately smiled and thanked her, then she looked at me and said "oh, not you." and then pointed to her ear. She was on her bluetooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 950

You deserved it 6 756

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 210

You deserved it 78 657

By imsadnow - 31/01/2011 20:01 - United States

Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 157

You deserved it 7 300

Spooked

By Anonymous - 01/10/2025 03:00

Today, I was catfished through Facebook dating, even after making her do a photo verification. Apparently anyone can take a selfie holding up three fingers if they have a good enough AI generator. I'm terrified for the future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 96

My eyes are up here

By LonelyCashier - 11/07/2019 20:00

Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 098

You deserved it 221

Clocked

By Anonymous - 26/08/2020 16:54

Today, I was stopped by a customer who told me that I looked like a nice woman. I thanked him for the compliment and pointed out that I was a man. With an obviously male name on my name tag. And visible facial hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 521

You deserved it 170

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 08:50 - United States

Today, I got a call from the girl I like. I got very excited so I quickly picked up. As it turns out, she was actually prank calling me, pretending to be a "liposuction telemarketer" but forgot to press *67. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 887

You deserved it 3 336

Next

Top comments

matt1337c 0

Friday 12 March 2010 12:11

was she hot?

Litschi 0

Friday 12 March 2010 12:22

maybe if you buy her cosmetics, someone real will call you gorgeous, too

Comments

asteroth 8

Friday 12 March 2010 22:12

Maybe if you could form complete and coherent sentences, people would call you gorgeous more often. Good grammar is sexy. >:D

jihut2 0

Friday 12 March 2010 22:14

That's actually just creative writing, not bad grammar.

CyclonePsycho 1

Saturday 13 March 2010 1:27

Not really. One fragment is perfectly acceptable, two are somewhat okay, but three are just annoying.

tipple 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 6:41

Watch out for those robots - some of them rust as they get older.

BlaqMetal13 0

Friday 12 March 2010 23:08

Not to be a douche, but if you're not gorgeous, people won't call you gorgeous.

snowpatrol_fml 0

Friday 12 March 2010 23:35

wow. anyone notice her screen name is gorgeous girl? thats sad.

Squander 3

Saturday 13 March 2010 0:29

Am I the only one thinking of the Makeup-Bot from WALL-E? I just watched that movie yesterday... 'You look GAUGEUOUS! I know, I'm Good!"

perdix 29

Saturday 13 March 2010 0:46

KarasuFrye, actually I had to retire that line because it was too good! Each time I used it, I was invited for immediate sex in her car, the ladies' room or the meat freezer (ironic). They all found that line so damn funny! Use with caution.

cuntwaffle 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 0:54

^ugly people

CyclonePsycho 1

Saturday 13 March 2010 1:20

4 years? Do you really keep track of how often you are complimented?

marleytooyou 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 1:21

4 years last time for my an hour ago hhhahah u need help

tisiphone_fml 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 2:54

I want to meet a cosmetic-selling robot! Where is the robot??? That's awesome!

XCaLX_fml 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 3:07

i have and im a guy ydi for being ugly

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Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 133

You deserved it 3 393

Today, I sent an email to my professor requesting an extension for my assignment, using the tired old excuse that my "grandmother died." Instead, I sent it to my grandmother, who then called my dad on my family's landline in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 813

Today, I told my mom that I think I'm lactose intolerant, and that I should go to the doctor to get checked out. She said that I was probably just gassy, and then ordered us a pizza for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 588

You deserved it 924

Today, my mom decided to show me her new rape whistle. She kept blowing it every couple of minutes while we were stuck in traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 699

You deserved it 1 523

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find a very gorgeous girl in my bed. Her only words to me were "did anything happen?" When I replied yes she began to cry. Nice to know I was someone's rock bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 633

You deserved it 5 622

Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 405

You deserved it 5 374