Today, I went out to inspect the backyard. There are now more than two dozen spiders hanging out and webs crossing from one side of the yard to the other. I have decided to surrender this territory. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, the spiders in my house are so big that they catch wasps in their webs. FML
Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML
Today, some spider must have had babies somewhere in the walls, because every five minutes I seem to find yet another spider on my ceiling, in my cupboards, under the furniture, everywhere. I’m so fed up of smashing them, I’m thinking of getting the house fumigated. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I opened a window that had been shut for a couple of months. As soon as I did, dozens of tiny baby spiders blew in with the breeze, and dispersed in my kitchen. FML
Today, some jackass spider decided to lay eggs behind my wall. No matter how many I kill, I always wake up to multiple baby spiders on my ceiling. FML
Today, I was glad to find out that all the bedbugs have been eaten. Now I have a spider infestation. FML
Today, and every day for the last ten days, I’ve woken up in the morning and found another new spider somewhere in my room, ten days in a row. I don’t know where the bastards are coming from but I’m seriously considering sleeping in another room, or buying a new house. FML
Today, after having a 3-day vacation and feeling a bit bummed that it was over, I got home to find a black widow watching her babies hatch in my office window. FML
Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
KeannaLove 32
Well it looks like your only option is to burn it.
MrConcise 34
Straya spiders. Pretty soon the whole damn place is gonna be one big spider web.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (99)
FieldLeftBlank 20
Is it just me, or at least half the fmls from Australia are about spiders?
Dowbo 21
That's because there is a lot of spiders in Australia and a bunch of them are able to kill you.
Mandybruin 15
Ah nice! So looking forward to going to Australia!
Vlen_fml 20
prepare lots of water in buckets to protect the house proper, and the garden hose if you have one, then BURN THE 8 LEGGED FREAKS TO THE GROUND.
Econforthwin 15
That's just good tactical moves from the spiders, they clearly have a good general.
Lalala579121 27
Next time OP goes away to a party the spiders will begin storming the beaches and invade their house.
Stansbury82 17
That's probably what any smart person would do
IndefiniteBeauty 17
Set them on fire then grab the hose and put it out so you don't burn down your property.
NerdilyDone 7
I was going to tell you to get over it, but then noticed you live in Australia. Walk away, friend.
MandieL 27
My yard is a giant pond so I'm grateful for the tons of spiders I have living in my yard. Haven't seen one mosquito this year :) but my spiders are harmless orb weaver and nursery web spiders. I think I'd have a different mentality if I were in Australia. Sorry your back yard is a no go zone now OP :(
MrDonSalvetti 27
"Commander we can't win, we lose this territory!" "What are you spouting you little punk, we never lose or give up! Who's our oponent?!" "Sir, 25 spiders across the whole battlefield Sir!" "**** this shit I'm outta here!"
A_Net_70 7
Two words "HOT SHOT"
fluffybunnypants 11
Throw a match into that mess and run