Today, I went out to inspect the backyard. There are now more than two dozen spiders hanging out and webs crossing from one side of the yard to the other. I have decided to surrender this territory. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, the spiders in my house are so big that they catch wasps in their webs. FML
Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML
Today, some spider must have had babies somewhere in the walls, because every five minutes I seem to find yet another spider on my ceiling, in my cupboards, under the furniture, everywhere. I’m so fed up of smashing them, I’m thinking of getting the house fumigated. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I opened a window that had been shut for a couple of months. As soon as I did, dozens of tiny baby spiders blew in with the breeze, and dispersed in my kitchen. FML
Today, some jackass spider decided to lay eggs behind my wall. No matter how many I kill, I always wake up to multiple baby spiders on my ceiling. FML
Today, I was glad to find out that all the bedbugs have been eaten. Now I have a spider infestation. FML
Today, and every day for the last ten days, I’ve woken up in the morning and found another new spider somewhere in my room, ten days in a row. I don’t know where the bastards are coming from but I’m seriously considering sleeping in another room, or buying a new house. FML
Today, after having a 3-day vacation and feeling a bit bummed that it was over, I got home to find a black widow watching her babies hatch in my office window. FML
Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML
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Top comments
KeannaLove 32
Well it looks like your only option is to burn it.
MrConcise 34
Straya spiders. Pretty soon the whole damn place is gonna be one big spider web.
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Comments (99)
thecrazymancan 17
It sure is a good thing that we discovered fire.
Gennocent 17
First I clicked Your Life Sucks, because I'm terrified of spiders! But then I saw that you live in Australia so I had to click YDI too. Is there anything indigenous to that country that isn't poisonous and/or nightmare inducing? :-/
ashleyrose465 16
YDI for not maintaining your yard.
zcjohnson 9
please, invest in a blowtorch.
zcjohnson 9
please, invest in a flamethrower.
duramunch18 9
two words. diesel, match
saffy66 34
On the plus side, nobody is going to sneak through your yard to burgle you. You'll soon hear the screams if they do...
THEDARKLORDOFALL 17
Like hell you do. Get a couple cans of gas and some matches
StiffPvtParts 43
Oh, look at that... OP's from Australia.... The spiders are probably big enough to eat a human.
contramundi 2
As a representative of Team People, your services are no longer needed. Please exit the species.