Today, I went out to inspect the backyard. There are now more than two dozen spiders hanging out and webs crossing from one side of the yard to the other. I have decided to surrender this territory. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, the spiders in my house are so big that they catch wasps in their webs. FML
Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML
Collect the set
Today, some spider must have had babies somewhere in the walls, because every five minutes I seem to find yet another spider on my ceiling, in my cupboards, under the furniture, everywhere. I’m so fed up of smashing them, I’m thinking of getting the house fumigated. FML
Freaked
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I opened a window that had been shut for a couple of months. As soon as I did, dozens of tiny baby spiders blew in with the breeze, and dispersed in my kitchen. FML
Freak out
Today, some jackass spider decided to lay eggs behind my wall. No matter how many I kill, I always wake up to multiple baby spiders on my ceiling. FML
Today, I was glad to find out that all the bedbugs have been eaten. Now I have a spider infestation. FML
Lullaby
Today, and every day for the last ten days, I’ve woken up in the morning and found another new spider somewhere in my room, ten days in a row. I don’t know where the bastards are coming from but I’m seriously considering sleeping in another room, or buying a new house. FML
Awwww, how sweet!
Today, after having a 3-day vacation and feeling a bit bummed that it was over, I got home to find a black widow watching her babies hatch in my office window. FML
Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML
Top comments
KeannaLove 32
Well it looks like your only option is to burn it.
MrConcise 34
Straya spiders. Pretty soon the whole damn place is gonna be one big spider web.
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Comments (99)
KeannaLove 32
Well it looks like your only option is to burn it.
pokysmalls 14
agreed. burn it to the ground...fast
beeneatenalive 12
Perhaps hairspray and a lighter if you don't want to spend extra money.
krazayman 18
im not sure it was emphasised enough.*clears throat* BURN THAT YARD DOWN!
gracehi 31
NAPALM! That's the only solution!
Naggie_May23 6
She lives in Australia. If she burned the yard, she'd probably cause a brush fire and get in trouble for it. Don't they have insecticide in Australia or is that illegal?
QuaDECH 13
Napalm can't kill that shit. Nukes are your only option.
SkylineFTW97 25
Damn straight. I suggest doing it from orbit just to be safe.
Rebles 15
Na just throw the whole planet into the sun. Can't let a single one of these critters escapes.
Futacy 29
I almost said "suck it up" but then I realized OP's from Aussieland. Your backyard is theirs now.
larrena2377 26
That's a big NOPE!
Sandsh8rk 36
I'd like to board the next NOPE train to FUCKTHATville.
clemsi 20
Welcome aboard the NOPE train. We hope your traveling experience with us is a pleasant one. We will be departing shortly with stops at SCREWTHIScity, OhHELLNOberg, and our final destination FUCKTHATville.
JMichael 25
Oh God..it's started!
TabooSushi 24
First time I've seen an FML with NO YDI votes... Though really, who DOES deserve that?
JMichael 25
Give it time..
PhinIt2WinIt 24
I bet they say that he deserves it either for the badge or the fact he is too much of a wuss to deal with it/doesn't feel like using money to deal with it.
Arwen_Evenstar 37
I think people from countries with only harmless spiders may say YDI. I did think that it was a bit cowardly until I considered it's a country full of spiders who can kill you.
trex454 21
its literally just like 10,000 of those bird eating spiders hanging out in his back yard
MrConcise 34
Straya spiders. Pretty soon the whole damn place is gonna be one big spider web.
YourOpinionSucks 22
You have to get crafty with those mother *******. They have health bars, and in some cases they even have mana bars.
Malecent 13
Your brother was a soldier...
Kitten_love 22
Your mother was a hamster...
trollcrusher 17
And your father smelt of elderberries.
MrConcise 34
I don't get any of these references aside from the first one. Lmao. Can anybody explain?
mergeterge 24
Monty Python... Holy Grail. I understood those, but not the first one! :)
MrConcise 34
The only thing I remember from that movie is the flesh-wound bit and the evil bunny. The HP/mana thing is just a gamer reference.
WCARlover 34
Reminds me of when we would get these huuuge spiders outside our house and my brother would take his BB gun to them..
LeavenSilva 27
The apocalypse has truly begun, they've started to take control!
lulinator 40
You can't nope much harder than that.
Kurby14 21
you made a very wise desision
tanziir1 14
BURN THOSE MOTHAFUKAS bold head style