Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I gave a short presentation at a neighborhood watch event to raise awareness about pickpocketing and to give tips on how to avoid becoming a victim of it. After I got back home, I realized my wallet was missing from my pocket. FML
Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and got robbed at knifepoint. The robber made away with my phone, cash, and debit cards… and the French Bulldog I’m still making monthly payments for. FML
Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML
Today, I tripped over my dog while carrying groceries. As I laid on the floor surrounded by smashed eggs, spilled milk, and a bruised knee, my dog stole the bread from the bag and and ran off. FML
Today, I went to retrieve my stolen wallet from a train station. After I collected it, I returned to the place where I'd parked my bike, only to find that my bike had been stolen. FML
Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML
Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML
Today, I woke up to find out my house was robbed. He didn't steal anything of value, but he stole my beer, dog, and cat. FML
Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML
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Top comments
leopardwilliam 22
Maybe you should rethink the bacon wallet
c_wyld 21
Man that's ruff. He couldn't at least throw you a bone, I mean c'mon its Monday...
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Comments (55)
jimmer23 21
Traitorous dog!!!
DarkPandaXD 15
Gee, what else would one keep in their wallet?
Captain_Debilos_fml 13
good dog
writerchic85 25
Well it's your fault for leaving your wallet where your dog could get it but I hope he didn't shred your money or ID. That would suck.
Shake_It_Off 6
Um, it was in her POCKET (there's no italics). Hence, pickPocketed
TPrice21 2
I think your dog missed the point, its supposed to protect you from being robbed, not do it itself.
patrickalamo 47
Time to put your dog to work
eski2015 22
Hope your money wasn't ripped and eh at least you kept your money (if it wasn't damaged)
username356 14
What else would be in the wallet??
datasiankidthere 3
You stoopeed.
drunk_crow 12
I think you're "stoopeed"
saffy66 34
So - the dog reached into your pocket and extracted your wallet without you knowing? Because otherwise it's not pickpocketing.