Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I gave a short presentation at a neighborhood watch event to raise awareness about pickpocketing and to give tips on how to avoid becoming a victim of it. After I got back home, I realized my wallet was missing from my pocket. FML
Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and got robbed at knifepoint. The robber made away with my phone, cash, and debit cards… and the French Bulldog I’m still making monthly payments for. FML
Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML
Today, I tripped over my dog while carrying groceries. As I laid on the floor surrounded by smashed eggs, spilled milk, and a bruised knee, my dog stole the bread from the bag and and ran off. FML
Today, I went to retrieve my stolen wallet from a train station. After I collected it, I returned to the place where I'd parked my bike, only to find that my bike had been stolen. FML
Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML
Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML
Today, I woke up to find out my house was robbed. He didn't steal anything of value, but he stole my beer, dog, and cat. FML
Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML
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Top comments
leopardwilliam 22
Maybe you should rethink the bacon wallet
c_wyld 21
Man that's ruff. He couldn't at least throw you a bone, I mean c'mon its Monday...
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Comments (55)
c_wyld 21
Man that's ruff. He couldn't at least throw you a bone, I mean c'mon its Monday...
HarshD9619 34
The amount of dog related humor on FML is too damn high
khaoticpanda 28
I hope all your credit cards and IDs and things were safe and you mean just the wallet. It sucks to have to replace all that stuff.
leopardwilliam 22
Maybe you should rethink the bacon wallet
bunnybean12321 18
well at least you know that some stranger didnt get all of your card information and stuff
False_Stupidity 41
Meanwhile OPs dog is on the Internet using OP's credit card to hire a hit-dog to take care of the neighbourhood cats.
abNormal62 23
Taken doggy style
hardy24 9
Mans best friend indeed
victorvldv 8
You can train him to do evil things sir.
MrsHaxxo 22
that sounds like something my dog would do as well.
karcummings 19
Barks out to you.
Steve97 32
Wouldn't it be considered pickpawcketing then? :p